21 Signs He’s the One: (Psychology Based)

Wondering if this guy that you like is the one for you? 

And…

  • Is he a good boyfriend material?
  • Could he be your future husband?

Some guys can be hard to read and while their mysteriousness can make them interesting at first, it can cause frustration and even stress when you still can’t figure out your feelings for him – and his feelings for you.

The good news is that guys give off little signals that let you know whether or not they’re the one. 

The even better news is that this isn’t just about him and his feelings. While a guy will give out indicators that he’s the one for you, your own feelings tell you a lot about where this relationship is heading – and whether or not it’s worth your time.

In this article, we’re going to show you how to look at your own feelings to help you assess how you truly feel about this guy. 

We’ll also be taking a look at how to better read men so that you’re able to gauge how he feels about you. 

21 Evidence-Backed Signs He’s the One

Indicators of Your Feelings: Let’s start with how you feel about him, how you act around him – and what all of this means for your true feelings towards him. 

1. Your Eyes Are Drawn to His Face (and Not His Body)

Eye contact tells you a lot about how someone feels about you – especially when you’re on a date.

According to this study, eye gaze “is a rich source of information about one’s interest, intentions and goals.”

In other words, if you find yourself looking at his face – and particularly into his eyes – it indicates a growing attraction on a deeper level towards this man. When you look at his body, it suggests lustful feelings. 

So the next time you’re with him, pay attention to where your eyes (and mind) wander. 

2. Your Friendship Forms the Basis of Your Relationship 

You’ve probably heard it said many times in the movies that someone’s partner isn’t just their partner – they’re also their best friend. 

It’s said repeatedly because it’s true: For a long-term relationship to work, there must be friendship first. 

Friendship is the foundation of everything else with him. If there’s no friendship, there’s no steady ground – there might be lust and sex appeal but that’s not enough to sustain things.

Do you get along with him like you would a friend? Do you talk about things, laugh with each other and share moments? 

3. You are Comfortable Enough to Show Him Your Vulnerable Side

Unless you’re vulnerable in your relationship with him, you won’t be able to connect on a deeper level. You won’t be able to grow and your relationship will never nurture to a true healthy relationship.

Naturally, we all have our guard up when we meet new people. Sometimes, we keep it up for a very long time.

Sometimes, we never let it down at all. We simply don’t feel comfortable enough to realize our true selves in front of someone.

And you know what? That’s totally cool.

But if you’ve already reached a point where you feel comfortable enough to share your feelings – be they expressions of anger or hurt – it’s a strong sign of your feelings for this man. 

You trust him and that’s a big deal. 

4. Your Past Doesn’t Hold You Back Anymore 

When someone hurts us, it can be hard to be ourselves around a new guy. It can be hard to move on and open ourselves up to someone.

Maybe this was you at some stage – maybe your past was holding you back from trusting someone new and letting them into your life.

If you feel as though your past is no longer defining you, it might be because you’ve met the right person who you want to move forward with. 

5. You’ve Stopped Making an Effort to Impress Others 

Dating often makes us worry that the person we like is probably dating someone else.

“Of course they like me – but we’re only dating. What’s stopping them from talking to other girls, too?”

Naturally, you could do the same if you wish.

But as research has shown, two people who genuinely like each other will eventually cool their interest in anyone else and focus only on that one specific person. 

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If your desire to have sex with others has been replaced by your desire to settle down with this one guy, it’s a strong indicator that he’s the one.

6. You No Longer Feel the Need to be Secretive Anymore 

Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D., co-founder of the relationship lab Self-Awareness and Bonding Lab says:

“Intimacy involves self-disclosure. It means allowing your innermost feelings, desires and needs to be known.”

In other words, you want to open up your heart to someone when you’re in love. You want them to know your past – the good things and the bad things. 

You don’t want to keep things from them, no matter what the consequences might be.

And this really matters. When we keep things from our partners, we’re not letting them see the real us. 

Until we start to share our secrets, a relationship will always remain at a certain level. The more you spill, the more he’ll learn about you and the more this relationship will get off the ground. 

7. You Prioritize Them Before Yourself

Even if you don’t always put others before yourself, you may have suddenly found that you’re putting him before yourself. 

If he needs help, you’ll help him, no matter if it means you won’t get everything done that you wanted to do today. 

If he calls you at midnight, you’ll pick up the phone and talk – even if you wanted to get an early night tonight. 

Research backs this up: In the European Journal of Psychology, an article was recently published that demonstrates how those in love have extraordinary levels of “compassionate love.” 

In other words, we put those we love before ourselves. 

8. He Feels Like Home

Have you ever felt that you always want him around whenever something good (and even something not so good) happens to you?

When you achieve something, you want to share it with him.

When you laugh loads, you wish he was there to share the moment with you. 

Even when you’re sad about something, you wish he was there to pick you up. 

In other words, he feels like home (and maybe you even wish he was with you all the time?).

If this is the case, it’s another telltale sign that he’s the One. 

Signs of His Affection: Understanding your own heart is one thing. In order to truly know if he’s the one or not, you need to know how he’s feeling. Only then should you commit yourself wholeheartedly to him.

9. He Goes Above and Beyond to Help You 

Have you ever got the feeling that a guy doesn’t go above and beyond to help you? 

You ask him out to pick you up tonight but he can’t make it – he’s watching the football game with “the guys.”

It’s always the same shtick – until you meet the One who’ll do anything to help you. 

That goes for your homework, job applications and generally being there whenever you need him. He gives 110% to you at all times. 

10. Your Mutual Respect Elevates Your Relationship

It’s true that some guys hate it when a woman outperforms them at something. They want to be the best.

And when you do something you feel proud of, they belittle your achievements.

If that isn’t the case with this guy, pay attention – he could be a keeper. If he encourages you, praises you and sees you on his level (and if you are the same with him), this is a relationship that could go the distance. 

11. Disagreements Don’t Turn Into Fights 

We all know that disagreements happen in all relationships. They are necessary and they help us to air our differences, get things out in the open and grow together.

But when they constantly turn into fights, they can drain us and make us consider quitting the relationship.

If your man doesn’t argue to win, and if he’s happy to concede points and talk things through with you without getting heated, it’s a really good sign if you’re looking for a long lasting relationship. 

Btw, even you will have to learn to take responsibilities whenever things go south. Blame game is not helpful for a long term relationship, it’s just unsustainable.

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12. He Shares Everything With You 

There’s nothing worse than a man who’s a closed book. You can see him brooding over something and you can clearly tell there’s something on his mind – but he never tells you what it is.

On the flip side, if a guy is open with you about literally everything in his life, it’s a strong indicator of his affection for you.

You don’t even need to ask to find things out – he tells you of his own accord. Whether he’s happy, whether he’s had a bad day at work or whether there’s something on his mind, he opens up to you. 

He trusts you and has confidence in your opinion.

13. He Makes Time For You 

We’re all busy. You’re busy and he’s busy. 

We all have busy lives, things to do and people to see.

But couples who stay together are those who find a way to spend time partner no matter what (even if it’s just a few minutes).

If you’ve noticed that your man doesn’t simply “fit you into his schedule” but instead always makes time for you, it’s another strong sign that he’s the One. 

And if he does it without complaining or checking his watch – it’s even better because it’s a great sign that he has strong feelings for you

14. He Supports Your Goals 

What we all want is a life partner who says “I believe in you.

… Rather than a man who says “are you sure you want to do that? Seems like a tall order.

If you’ve got a guy who supports your goals and even helps you to achieve them, there’s no better feeling. 

He listens to you, helps you to plan out your goals and he even offers practical advice during challenging times. He celebrates your successes, no matter how big or small, and he acknowledges that you work hard.

He gives you constructive and insightful feedback, too, as opposed to useless remarks. 

And if it’s a financial issue that’s stopping you from achieving your goals? He’ll figure out a way to resolve this too. 

He never takes over, though. He knows these are your goals. He’s just here to help. 

15. He is an Open-Minded Guy 

Open-mindedness in men is attractive. 

But, there is some other qualities to look for in a guy.

Because it’s not enough that a man is open-minded about ideas – he needs to be open-minded about you and your independence.

In other words, a man that’s just right for you is the type of man who respects and supports your independence. He is a forward-thinking, modern guy who understands that women have every right to a life independent of their relationship.

When you go out, he doesn’t need to know who you’re with or when exactly you’re back – he’s cool with you living your own life. 

16. He Doesn’t Place Restrictions on You 

While it’s normal for couples to have a few things they won’t tolerate from a partner (such as cheating), it’s not okay for a man to shackle you by telling you what you can and can’t do.

Look for signs of controlling behavior. These might include a guy telling you which friends you can see and what time you need to be home by.

He might even try to stop you from leaving the house – or forbidding you from seeing your friends. 

As well as actual physical violence, you should look out for telltale signs of emotional manipulation. This might include gaslighting and making you feel bad for seeing your friends while he has to stay home.

If a guy exerts none of this type of behavior, it shows that he’s willing to let you do the things you really want to do without interference. 

If you want to go out tonight without him – that’s totally cool. He’ll find something else to do.

17. He Respects Your Ideas and Beliefs 

The thing about relationships is that, while it’s much more beneficial if your values match-up, it doesn’t matter if you have different ideas and beliefs.

It’s not unnatural for a Christian to date a Muslim or an atheist to date a religious person – provided the other person doesn’t demean their partner’s views or tries hard to persuade them to change.

It needs to be the same for you. If you have very strong ideas and beliefs that you feel sure about, a guy needs to understand this. 

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If a guy cannot understand it and instead convinces you that you’re wrong – or, worse still, he belittles your ideas and beliefs, then this relationship probably isn’t going to work.

One more thing to note is that if a man is rattled by your views from the beginning, it’s unlikely he will change his stance. 

18. He Remembers Your Special Days 

A lot of guys probably brush it off when they forget a girl’s special day. 

“You know me, I’m always forgetting things like that.”

That’s the problem – he knows he’s always forgetting things like that but isn’t making any effort to reverse this. 

What can you do about this? Not much – there’s not much you should do.

If a man truly cares about you and if he’s truly the one, he’ll make an effort to remember your special days all by himself. 

When it’s your birthday, he doesn’t need to be reminded a few days in advance. When an important event is coming up in your life, he’s the first to remind you about it. 

Remember, it’s not what a guy says – it’s what a guy does. Judge him by his actions. 

19. He’s Not in it Just for the Sex

Sex is sex – mostly everyone enjoys it. 

What’s more, a relationship without sex isn’t really a relationship. It’s more of a friendship.

Sex is what deepens the bond shared between the two of you.

It’s essential.

That all said, if a man is clearly only with you because he just wants you for your body, this is also not a good thing.

This study noted that 50% of male and female university students said that they experienced more psychological distress and feelings of loneliness when their intimate encounters were limited to just sex. 

There are a few clear signs that a man is in it just for sex. For example, whenever the two of you see each other (which is already pretty rare), he always initiates sex pretty quickly.

Whenever you think about the great times the two of you have shared together, sex is pretty much always there. And whenever you try to have a conversation about practically anything, he soon gets bored and makes it sexual. 

A man who’s worth keeping is a man who loves all of you. He wants to sexually but he also wants you romantically, intellectually and emotionally.

He can flirt with you but he can also chat with you about anything and everything. He’s turned on by your body and your mind – and he even says as much.

What’s more, he enjoys to spend time with you in different ways. He takes you out for dinner and day trips … and not everything ends in sex. 

20. He Shows You His Vulnerable Side

It takes a lot for a man to show a woman (or anyone, for that matter) his vulnerable side. Men are taught from an early age to be manly and to never show weakness.

You’ve surely noticed this before – men will do anything to prevent you from seeing the “real” them. They won’t cry, they won’t admit they’re hurt and they won’t come to you with a problem.

But men are human just like we are. Once a man is with a woman he loves, he will eventually let his guard down and open up to her.

If your man is willing to be vulnerable in front of you, it’s a good sign that he’s the one. 

21. His Friends and Family Like You 

Lastly, it might sound strange to say but it’s not enough that you love him and he loves you. Instead, everything has to fall into place. 

If his friends and family don’t like you, there are still question marks over your relationship. Will it really succeed? 

In all honesty, it’s very difficult for a relationship to move forward if his friends and entire family don’t like you. It cuts off all opportunities to socialize together and it creates discord. 

And what happens at Christmas and other essential family get-togethers? Awkward.

If, on the other hand, you get along super well with his friends and his family, well, what can we say? The guy most definitely sounds like a keeper and the right person for you. 

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About Will Titterington

Will Titterington is a highly sought-after relationship coach and author, with a passion for helping individuals and couples build and maintain healthy, thriving relationships. Will loves connecting with new people from all around the world and is always up for a good laugh, and takes joy in making others smile.

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