What makes a good boyfriend, and ultimately, the perfect life partner?
While Mr. Right is definitely different for each of us, at his core, every man should have a certain set of qualities that make him relationship material.
They don’t say that love is blind for no reason, so it’s best to always be prepared.
……..To avoid any possible future heartbreaks, take a look at the following list of 15 desirable qualities to look for in a guy.
If you find a man who checks all of the boxes below, you must remember this: he is a keeper!
15 Science-Backed Qualities to Look for in a Guy
1. Knowledge, strength, and integrity, aka KSI
Knowledge, strength, and integrity are essential qualities to look for in a guy. They should be at the top of your list, especially if you’re trying to find a life partner.
Why does knowledge matter? From having things to talk about to navigating less common life situations, being knowledgeable is important. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “knowledge is power.”
Why does strength matter? Both physical and mental strength ensure the success of any challenge that might arise in his life and yours.
Why does integrity matter? An honest man that adheres to moral and ethical principles is highly desirable because he’s unlikely to break them and cause you or others pain.
For example, cheating would be out of the question with such a man. So, keep this abbreviation in mind: KSI.
If thinking about the rapper, boxer, and YouTuber KSI helps you remember, then go ahead! Truth be told, he’s got quite an impressive KSI score himself.
Finding such a guy is not going to be easy, but when you do, don’t forget to praise him for it. You could say something like “Your KSI is impressive!”
However, to avoid confusion, you should mention you’re not referring to the rapper!
2. Confidence in himself and his abilities
Before we talk about a man’s confidence, let’s get one thing straight: being confident is not the same as being arrogant.
Many women confuse these two traits. However, it’s important to realize that a confident man will not hesitate when faced with numerous life situations, including making you happy.
He will not get jealous easily and he’ll always be prepared to handle whatever comes his way because he knows he can do it.
He won’t feel threatened by other men and he won’t let others belittle him. He knows his worth and relies on himself and his abilities in both his personal and professional life.
According to study material done for a popular source of psychological information, if a man is confident it means he has recognized the best in himself and he’s embracing it.
You see, being confident doesn’t mean that you don’t have any flaws. It means you’re well aware of those flaws, but you don’t let them bring you down or control any aspect of your life.
3. A loving and supportive nature
I am sure you are aware of how important it is to have someone to support you. Whether it’s your dreams or your career, having a supportive man by your side is a must.
And, because supporting someone also means being gentle, encouraging, and caring, another quality to look for in a guy is a loving nature.
In fact, being supportive is considered one of the purest forms of love, according to a research psychologist.
Even so, men and women express their support in different ways. Different how?
Well, expect to receive practical advice to jump-start your career or reach your goals from him rather than encouragement only.
Either way, this is a desirable quality in a guy because it means he’ll stand by your side and do his best to help you one way or the other.
4. Politeness and kindness to everyone
When it comes to finding the best possible boyfriend or life partner, another very important aspect of his personality comes to the foreground.
I am talking about kindness. And not only about kindness directed to you, but about kindness directed to everyone.
Here’s one quick way to check: Go out with a guy of your choice and watch how he behaves with you and how he behaves with the waiter or waitress.
If he treats you with kindness, but he’s rude to them, then he might not be the guy you’re looking for. The same goes for being polite.
What does it really mean to be polite? Here’s what:
- A polite person is aware of the feelings of other people, and, at the same time, they respect them.
- A polite person usually has good manners.
- A polite person behaves respectfully and is not rude.
5. Active listening capabilities
A man who really listens? Isn’t that image taken from some sort of fairytale?
Contrary to what you might think, there are men capable of listening to what you have to say without being distracted or seeming uninterested.
Most of them manage to do it out of interest, but many of them also learn how to do it because they want to be good partners.
These men are constantly improving themselves, a fact that makes them even more desirable.
A guy with active listening capabilities is ideal because he…
… remembers what you say to him;
… is engaged in conversations;
… asks you follow-up questions;
… tries to put himself in your shoes to understand you better;
… doesn’t nod out of politeness while thinking about something else.
6. An inclination for romance and being romantic
Let’s face it: men these days have forgotten how to be romantic. They think the “dinner and a movie” combo is the most romantic date ever.
They no longer do grand gestures, don’t sing serenades, and don’t buy flowers unless there’s some sort of special occasion.
This is why guys with an inclination for romance have become highly sought-after. They are the ones who have found a balance between their manly attributes and their vulnerable ones.
On top of that, if you see this quality in a guy, you can rule out the possibility of him wanting to use you for intimate activities only.
A romantic guy usually believes in the concept of one true love and even soulmates, and he wouldn’t keep any woman close just for sex.
Instead, here’s what he would do, though:
- Plan romantic dates for you two;
- Try to surprise you with gestures and gifts;
- Be chivalrous with you;
- Show you his vulnerable side;
- Treat you with respect.
7. Honesty, openness, and transparency aka HOT
How else should a guy be? HOT, of course!
While physical attraction is also an important quality in a man, it didn’t make it to this list. Yes, you got it right, HOT does not refer to a handsome man with a lot of sex appeal.
It refers to 3 more qualities to look for in a guy, namely honesty, openness, and transparency. All these have notable roles in the success of a romantic relationship.
Honesty and openness might not be new terms for you. However, are you sure you know what transparency is all about?
Easily confused with honesty, transparency is about something else. It’s not about withholding or not the truth, but about willingly sharing things that concern you or your ideas and feelings.
What’s more, it has numerous benefits, such as building a relationship based on respect, creating a deep connection between the two of you, and being vulnerable.
8. A high level of emotional intelligence
What is emotional intelligence really about?
To thoroughly understand why emotional intelligence is one of the qualities to look for in a guy, you have to first get a grasp of what it’s really about.
To put it simply, emotionally intelligent people aren’t afraid to communicate with the help of their feelings, and, at the same time, they are open to the feelings of others.
They are able to perceive another person’s feelings, as well as understand them. They are also able to manage and handle these emotions.
Even if women are known to have higher emotional intelligence than men, studies show that men are also good at taking their partner’s feelings into consideration.
They may not be as flexible as women are when it comes to accepting influence, however, they know this much: making compromises leads to a win-win situation.
So, if you find this in a guy, hold on to him!
9. Feminism or the belief in gender equality
Let’s get another thing straight: The term feminism refers to the equality between men and women. It doesn’t express hate towards men or dominance over them.
On top of that, studies have shown that romantic relationships and marriages between feminist people have a higher chance of success and happiness.
This happens because the pressure of doing what’s expected of them goes away. Men are no longer expected to be the providers. Women no longer expect them to initiate sex.
Also, in the case of women, they don’t have to get married and have kids unless they want to. They can focus on their careers and build empires. There are no limits to it.
In other words, a feminist guy would make a great boyfriend and/or husband because he would treat you as his equal. He would not assume things about you just because you’re a woman.
10. A good sense of humor
Why is humor important in a guy? Here are 3 main reasons:
- The ability to be humorous reveals intelligence;
- A funny guy is almost always also a creative guy;
- Humor makes him instantly more attractive.
As you already know, men and women also work differently when it comes to humor. To be more precise, a woman is more attracted to guys who make them laugh.
Men, on the other hand, aren’t especially attracted to funny women. Instead, they like women who laugh at their jokes.
You can look at it as a win-win situation: You find him hilarious, and in turn, he finds you more attractive. That’s why this dynamic always works!
11. Being independent and responsible
It goes without saying that being independent and responsible are also very desirable traits in a guy. An independent and responsible man is unlikely to fail his girlfriend or wife.
Let me give you some examples:
- A guy who still lives with his parents because it’s comfortable is not boyfriend material or husband material.
- A guy who doesn’t take his responsibilities seriously is not desirable either. Such a guy is prone to failing in every area of his life.
With this in mind, I’m not saying that there aren’t exceptions or good reasons for a man to be like that.
However, these qualities matter a lot in romantic relationships. If you really want to make a rational choice, pick a guy who proves to be in control of his life.
12. Similar interests and hobbies
Isn’t the having-things-in-common part overrated?
Although we might be inclined to believe the opposite, studies in this field have proven otherwise.
When two people that form a couple don’t have things in common, they will automatically spend less time together.
In addition to that, if they don’t share common interests, they will have less to talk about when they do spend time together.
As if that wasn’t enough, psychologists point out another issue: The tendency to try to change one another greatly increases.
In other words, let’s say you love hiking and you’re always ready for an outdoor adventure. However, the guy you’re dating has a sedentary lifestyle.
At first, you might think that’s no issue because you’ll take him hiking with you and you’ll show him what you like about it, hoping he’ll like it too.
But you know what? He might hate it and also hide that from you because he doesn’t want to upset you or do something to change your opinion about him.
That’s why looking for similar interests and hobbies in a guy is also essential. You can avoid numerous relationship problems if you like to do the same things.
13. Self-reflection as opposed to narcissism
Here goes another important quality to look for in a guy: self-reflection.
Self-reflection is about analyzing oneself and discovering strengths and weaknesses. It’s also about giving serious thought to one’s actions.
A guy with the ability to reflect on himself and his own actions has more chances to realize when he makes a mistake or when he does something that’s out of his character.
However, a narcissist doesn’t have this ability. Such a man doesn’t admit when he makes mistakes. He has a high sense of his own importance and doesn’t really care about what other people feel.
But, how can you discover this quality in a man early on?
Pay attention to what he tells you about various issues at work or with friends. If he always blames other people and doesn’t take responsibility for anything, you’ve got your answer.
However, if he considers the possibility of him being wrong and accepts he could’ve done better, he’s a keeper!
14. Respect and consideration for your family & friends
I mentioned earlier that you can judge a guy’s character just by analyzing his behavior with a waitress or waiter.
You can also judge a guy’s character by analyzing his behavior with your family and friends. A desirable guy knows that your friends and family are important to you and, even if he doesn’t like them, he still treats them with respect.
So, beware: If a guy treats you in the best way possible, but is inconsiderate with your friends and family, that’s a red flag!
He might have hidden motives for being with you and treating you this way. He might want to get something from you and that’s why he doesn’t show interest in becoming an important part of your life.
15. Selflessness and charitable nature
What other positive traits to look for in a guy? Selflessness and charitable nature, among others.
A selfless guy would make a great life partner because it means he won’t put his needs and wants first all the time.
Picture this: you want to go see a romantic movie, but he wants to see an action movie. For some reason, you can only pick one movie. What do you do?
If you’re a selfless person, you go with his choice because his happiness is more important to you than seeing a certain movie.
However, if you’re a selfish person, you insist on seeing a romantic movie no matter how he feels.
This is a silly example meant to make a point: You want a guy who cares about how you feel and who doesn’t always think about himself.
Do You Have These Qualities?
If you’re on a romantic journey and want to find the perfect boyfriend or life partner, you now know which qualities to look out for. But, before you do that, ask yourself if you also have some of these qualities or not. To be an ideal girlfriend or wife to someone, you also need to check at least some of the boxes above.