As someone who’s been in the throes of both budding romances and long-term relationships, I’ve had my fair share of experiences ā the highs, the lows, and everything in between.
Being a good girlfriend is not always easy.
And, Itās not enough to just show up and look pretty.
A manās needs are far more complex than that.
Luckily for you, there are many ways to achieve your goal.
From my personal experience, I’ve distilled 25 timeless pieces of advice to keep the spark alive and a man genuinely interested.
While every relationship is unique, these are the strategies that have personally worked wonders for me, and I believe they can do the same for you.
25 Tried & Proven Ways to Keep a Man Interested:
1. Show your appreciation for him
The first step you can take to keep a guy interested is to show him that you appreciate him and also clearly tell him that.Ā
Making him think that youāre taking him for granted is never a good idea.
And, fear not! If you tell him you appreciate him, this will not pointlessly feed his ego.Ā
On the contrary, it will be the drive that he needs to keep going.
In addition to that, also SHOW your appreciation from time to time. Saying āthank youā or āI appreciate itā over and over again is a must, but itās not enough.
Show him you value him by helping him with something he needs, by doing something nice for him, or by surprising him.
It’s the cute things like this that guys love the most.
2. Compliment him on a constant basis
Hereās the next tip: Donāt underestimate the power of compliments!Ā
As you already know, men also feel the need to be appreciated and reassured. This means that if you told him once that you think heās a creative guy, you shouldnāt stop there.
What you should do is remind him you think heās creative.
In fact, thereās a secret when it comes to giving compliments: Try to compliment him on something that is not obvious about him.Ā
Donāt always tell him that heās handsome or has a nice smile. While that may be true, he has no power over those. Thatās just the way he is.
However, if you compliment him on something he did, say, think, and so on, youāll stand out. Youāll create a deeper connection with him.
3. Dress up to impress him from time to time
Look, I know I said looking pretty is not enough to keep a man. Even so, itās still necessary!
Dolling yourself up for your man is a MUST!
You have to remind him from time to time that youāre an attractive woman with impressive curves.Ā
Donāt be afraid to wear a sexy dress with a deep cleavange, put on makeup and do your hair. Go out of your way for him without being afraid itās too much.
Not only will he love the way you look, but heāll also feel flattered that you made all those efforts to glam up for him.Ā
Also, it’s not fair to look all hot and sexy before you two were dating and now that you two are together you think he doesn’t care about looks anymore?
That’s unhealthy mindset, if you ask me.
Keep this in mind: Regardless of how much a man loves you, he will forget about how feminine you are if all you wear around him are sweatpants.
4. Make him feel like a hero in your life
Letās move on to the next step. To keep this guy interested, thereās a part of him that you must reach called HERO instincts.Ā
You see, all men have an innate drive to love and protect the woman theyāre with. However, this not something that activates by itself.
If youāre the right woman for this man, what you have to do is make him feel like a hero in your life. In other words, he needs to feel indispensable.
He must have a role in your life that makes him think heās unique and you need him. If you give that to him, he will stay yours forever.
To do that, express your helplessness from time to time, but donāt exaggerate with it.
5. Keep going on dates with him
Are you familiar with the concept of ādate nightā?
Itās something that couples practice to maintain and keep the spark alive between them and to spend quality time together.
My partner and I started going out on date nights one time per week, 3 years ago. At that time, we already lived together and we werenāt doing anything special together anymore.
And believe me when I tell you, itās still going great so far!
After 5 years of relationship, we still go on romantic dates and feel amazing together before, during, and after the dates.
So, donāt hesitate to talk to him about going on date nights. You could take him to the place where you first met to remind him how you both felt.
6. Try new things that make you both curious
What was the last thing you tried together?Ā
If you canāt remember doing anything new with your man for a long while, thatās a red flag.
American Time Use Survey’s studyĀ revealed that, time spent watching TV or sleeping results in increased un-satisfaction in a relationship.
To keep a guy interested, you should spend quality time together and do something thrilling.
For example, you could travel to new places together and discover new cultures together. This would considerably strengthen your long term relationship.
Shared experiences in general and ways to deepen the connection you already have with someone.
In addition to that, you could surprise him every now and then, be it for a special day or a regular one.
If you donāt know where to start, ask him if thereās something new heād like to try.
7. Maintain a subtle air of mystery with him
Have you ever heard of the self-expansion model of human behavior?
If you havenāt, donāt worry.
Hereās the explanation:
When you first met, you and this guy knew nothing about each other. Then, as you started getting to know each other, the process of self-expansion began.
Thatās when you integrated your manās qualities and characteristics into yourself and he did the same. This is a process that creates passionate love.
However, when thereās seemingly nothing new to learn about each other, the passionate love is replaced with compassionate love.
While itās completely normal for the passionate love to diminish in time and the compassionate love to grow, you can hold on to it a bit longer by maintaining a subtle air of mystery.
8. Take every chance you have to laugh together
I am sure you are already aware of how important it is to laugh and have fun with your partner.
But as if this information was not enough, thanks to a new study in the field, we now know that shared laughter promotes relationship well-being both over short and long terms.
What does this mean for you?
It means that you shouldnāt refrain from being silly from time to time. Men actually love women who allow themselves to be silly occasionally.
Also, take every change you get to create inside jokes with him. Last but not least, laugh at his jokes!
Men appreciate women that laugh at their jokes more than women that make them laugh.
Always keep in mind, romantic relationships are not always about physical attraction but more than that. So, take or build the opportunity to have laugh together.
9. Show confidence and take initiative in the bedroom
Feel like he is losing interest in you?
Sex life is going to be one of the most important things to keep a guy interested in you.
A healthy sex life = a healthy relationship.
Show confidence in the bedroom and donāt let taking initiative scare you.
While most men prefer to take the lead in bed, they also like to be surprised. A sudden change of scenario can have an impressive effect on his libido.
Whatās more, if you initiate sex with him, youāll show him that youāre confident enough to go for what you want. That will make him go weak on his knees.
Wear sexy lingerie if you want. Play sexy roles with him and let your imagination fly. Whatever you do, donāt be shy.
He wants to see your daring side, so donāt hesitate to show it to him.
10. Always choose your battles wisely
Pay attention to this one because itās really important!Ā
I can tell you from personal experience that picking your battles wisely is one of the most important things you can do to keep a man.
The danger of nagging a man too much is real. However, this doesnāt mean that you shouldnāt say something if it bothers you.Ā
Even so, refrain from fighting over the small things, such as household chores, schedule changes, or differences in tastes, preferences, and so on.
For example, if he likes a trashy hip-hop song, donāt overreact by thinking heās a shallow guy. Or, if he always runs late because he works late, donāt think heās disrespectful.Ā
Try to accept the no-so-perfect sides of him as well. Understanding that no one is perfect will take you a long way.
11. Take time for yourself and your personal development
Although being in a committed relationship is time-consuming, taking time for yourself and for your personal development is still important.
Maintaining a romantic relationship is just a part of your life. Except that, you probably have school or a job, friends, family, hobbies, and interests.
Neglecting any of the above is not a good idea. It doesnāt help you and it doesnāt help your relationship.
You and your man both are in a continuous development. You both need to work on yourselves and become better at what you do, as people, and for each other.
If you take time for yourself, you will keep him interested.
This will happen because youāll make him curious and because heāll have to keep up with the changes – or improvements if I may.
12. Show him you are self-reliable and self-sustaining
Showing him that you need him is just as helpful in a relationship as showing him that you’re not completely dependent on him.
The truth is that modern men no longer wish to be the providers and the protectors. Most of them want to be involved in equal relationships.Ā
Even those who donāt want that specifically would be impressed by an independent woman who only relies on herself and is capable of sustaining herself.
Thatās why being self-reliable and self-sustaining keeps a man interested. He likes that you donāt have materialistic expectations from him.
He also likes it when you donāt expect him to get involved and fix any problem that you might have.
Remember this, though: If he offers his help, accept it! Donāt make him feel like you donāt need him.
13. Take the lead sometimes and be creative
If you want to keep your partner interested, give him a break from time to time!Ā
Take the lead, show some initiative, and be creative about it. You can rely on your own judgement and make decisions for the two of you.
Being a damsel in distress is no longer attractive these days. By being just the opposite, you take some of the pressure off of him and if you do that, heās going to appreciate it.
Just as women, men are expected to act in certain ways and this puts a lot of pressure on them. They have to live up to the standards, you knowā¦
But if you show him that youāre different, heāll irreversibly fall for you.
14. Cook for him and enjoy the delicious food together
We all know the saying, āThe way to a manās heart is through his stomach.ā
If you choose to take its meaning literally, you can do just that: Cook for him.Ā
This will not show him that youāre an old-fashioned woman. It will show him that you care for him enough to put it in the effort and cook a meal for him.
And if the food is good? Well, thatās another reason to make him see you as a keeper!
What if you donāt know how to cook?
Listen, you donāt have to make complicated dishes. Do something simple for him to see that youāve at least tried.Ā
If youāre really inexperienced with cooking, just make him breakfast! That counts, too.
15. Do your best to match his commitment level
To keep a guy interested, you have to make sure that your commitment levels match. To be more precise, you have to talk about how committed you are to each other.Ā
If you already had this talk and youāre on the same page, then great! You can move on to the next point.
However, if youāre not 100% sure about where you stand with him, talk to him about it. This will help you match his commitment level and make sure you both want the same thing.Ā
If heās not looking for a long term relationship with you, thereās no point in talking to him about your future, right?
The same applies if, for example, you want to get married and have kids, and heās just trying to be in a committed relationship for the first time. It wonāt work if youāre not on the same page.
16. Actively listen to your partnerās words
You can use the power of listening in your favor if you actively listen to your partnerās words, especially when he talks to you about things that make him stressed.
According to a relatively recent study, you can help your man cope more easily with his problems or stressful situations just by being there for him.
You donāt even have to come up with solutions, you simply have to listen to him. This will improve his overall relationship satisfaction.
Whatever you do, donāt defend others, though. If heās telling you about something that happened at work, always take his side – this will make him feel better.
17. Take an interest in his hobbies and passions
Opposites attract? No, they donāt!
Not long ago, it was scientifically proven that people who have things in common have a higher chance at maintaining long term relationships.
What really brings two people together are the things they share. Common interests, hobbies, and passions are ultimately the things that connect us.
However, if you donāt have that much in common with your guy, donāt worry! All you have to do is take an interest in what he likes.
Who knows, maybe youāll discover something you also enjoy doing and youāll start doing that together.
Let me give you an example: My partner was playing a few video games and he took it upon himself to search for games that we could play together from the same device.Ā
He even bought me a gamepad and introduced me to a world I knew almost nothing about, a world which I liked a lot.
The outcome? Weāre still playing various video games together to this day.
Want to Go the Extra Mile?
If youāre certain this guy is worth it, there are things you could do to make yourself even more valuable in his life. Here are some of them:
18. Help him with his chores around the house
Look, maybe your goal in life isnāt to be a housewife. Even so, you can still help your man out with his chores from time to time.
To keep him interested, itās always a good idea to show him that you can also make him life easier. Heās not the only one who can help you in various ways.
You can do things for him that no one else can, but you can also do something as simple as cleaning his apartment once in a while.
19. Spend time with his friends and family
If your man has introduced you to his friends and family, it means he wants you to be part of his life.
Now, itās understandable if you donāt really like to spend time with his friend or family. Maybe things are still awkward between you all and thatās normal if you’re still in a budding relationship.
Even so, these people are important to him, so you have to try and accept them, as well as tolerate them.
20. Surprise him in thoughtful ways
Men loves surprises, too. Unless he specifically asks you not to surprise him with anything, you have a green light!
Buy him a cup of his favorite coffee, give him small gifts, and spoil him in your own unique way. Organize a city break for the two of you or a surprise birthday party for him.
Things To Avoid Doing To Keep a Guy Interested:
Here are the things to avoid in a romantic relationship to keep a guy interested.
21. Donāt feel compelled to be nice all the time
Pleasing your man is most definitely on top of your priority list. You donāt want to upset him.
On the contrary, you want to make him feel really good.Ā
However, if there are times when he crosses your boundaries, you have to tell him that. You have to call out on his BS because otherwise he will lose his interest in you in start treating you with less respect.
22. Donāt act jealous of his female friends
Jealousy is such a messy emotion!
Itās hard to control and it can make the most confident women appear ridiculous sometimes.Ā
Thatās why you have to stay away from it. Especially if youāre dealing with his female friends, which he had before he met you, thereās no reason for you to feel threatened.
23. Do your best to avoid being dramatic
No one likes a drama queen either. So, do your best to avoid being dramatic.
If you already know that you have a tendency to overreact, work on that aspect of your personality. This will help you in the long run, not only with the guy you love.
24. Donāt try to manipulate or deceive him
There are many ways in which you can manipulate someone. But, ask yourself this: Is it really worth it?
To keep a guyās interest, you could play mind games with him. But to what end?Ā
Playing games never result in a long last relationship.
Honesty is the best policy if youāre looking to build a healthy relationship with him.Ā
25. Donāt act desperate
Desperate women and total turn-offs. You know it – I know it – Everyone knows it.
So, whatever you do, donāt display any signs of desperation. Regardless of the situation youāre in, there are always better solutions than acting desperate.
If you are able to stay composed under pressure, he will love that about you.
In the end, keeping a guyās interest is a never-ending process. You should never stop trying to impress your man or be there for him, not even after decades of being together!
