Am I Overthinking or Is He Losing Interest?

Here’s the thing: Every relationship has its ups and downs. 

These are times when you either see each other through rose-colored glasses or get on each other’s nerves without good reason. 

The honeymoon phase, for example, is known as one of the best stages of a relationship because that’s when you only see the good in each other.

The level of intimacy (both physical and emotional) is off the charts and all you want is to spend time with that person. 

Sadly, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. As soon as you get more familiar with each other and the element of surprise is no longer prevalent, changes are bound to happen. 

This means that you and your boyfriend move past the initial excitement and the pace of your relationship starts slowing down as well. 

At this point, you might think he is losing interest. But, are you sure you’re not overthinking the situation?

To figure this out, a simple and direct approach is to look for signs that usually indicate if a man is losing feelings for his girlfriend or not. 

Are you ready to start? Let’s go!

Summary:

Signs You’re just overthinking if…

  • … he is going through a stressful time
  • … he has a lot to deal with at work/school
  • … there’s a family situation he must deal with
  • … he makes time for you, but you’d like more
  • … he is there for you and supports you when he can

Signs He is losing interest if…

  • … he avoids spending time with you
  • … he cancels plans without rescheduling them
  • … he pays more attention to his friends
  • … he makes long-term plans without you
  • … he is not enthusiastic or curious about you

14 Signs He’s Losing Interest:

1. The way he communicates with you has changed

Communication is the first thing that gets affected when a guy losing interest in his girl.

If you used to call each other and send each other texts back and forth and now you’re the only one who initiates conversations and tries to keep them going, you’re right to be worried.

Unless he specifically explained to you that he’s going through a very busy time of his life, there’s really no excuse for his behavior.

He has lost interest if he doesn’t reach out to you in the morning or at night, and he gives you brief answers only instead of elaborate ones.

This can behavior also be noticed in texting.

I’ve written a detailed article on all sign that shows he is losing interest through text , I recommend you go through them.

2. He stopped being affectionate and supportive of you

The next sign to look after is this: He isn’t as invested emotionally as he used to be. 

In other words, he acts less affectionate and he isn’t there for you emotionally speaking.

When you talk to him about something that concerns to you, he doesn’t put any efforts to to encourage you.

It’s not that he can’t find the right words. It seems he doesn’t even try. He no longer uses his warm hug to comfort you.

If you think about it, it’s like he slowly stopped caring.

The exception?

He is going through a lot and he asked you to try and understand him.

3. He doesn’t ask questions about your personal life

At first, his curiosity about you was endless. He asked question after question, eager to uncover everything about you. Your stories and dreams fascinated him.

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But now, the dynamic has reversed.

Conversations feel one-sided, with you prompting him to engage. Your attempts to share are met with apathy.

This shift could signal that his initial infatuation has faded, and he is losing interest in you.

However, there are alternative possibilities:

Perhaps you’ve already covered the basics, so he feels he knows you and doesn’t need to ask further. Or you readily share updates, so he thinks there’s nothing left to dig into.

The change may not mean disinterest – it could just reflect comfort and assumed familiarity. Or maybe conversations have slipped into routine; he needs to rededicate effort.

4. He cancels plans and doesn’t reschedule them

Major red flag: Your boyfriend cancels plans and shows no intention to reschedule them. 

Let me ask you a question: Has he ever made you a priority in his life?

If he has and now he’s taking some steps back, you may wonder why.

Well… he either thinks you’re no longer worthy of his time, or he has found other, better, things to do.

Again, if he’s a serious guy with ambitions and he focuses on school, work, or side hustles, then you can’t really blame him. He is probably doing his best to succeed.

But what if he’s not? What if he avoids you on purpose? The only way to know for sure is to ask him.

5. He doesn’t spend as much time with you as before

The honeymoon phase of any relationship is characterized by an intense desire to be physically close to the person you’re in love with.

Both parties want to do things together, discover each other, and have as many fulfilling experiences as possible.

For some people, this desire never gets less intense and they seek the same closeness. 

However, others get bored fast and they’re constantly trying to switch things up and make their life more exciting. 

You’re not overthinking the situation if he…

  • … suddenly spends more time with his friends
  • … prefers to stay alone and play video games 
  • … acts mysterious about his whereabouts
  • … doesn’t give you any clue about his availability

6. You feel a lack of enthusiasm & excitement from his side

  • When he sees you, does he smile?
  • Is he pumped up to try something new with you?
  • Is he overjoyed when you meet and greet him?
  • Does he say he’s happy to see you?
  • Does he acts excited for physical intimacy?

NO: Your boyfriend may be losing interest in you. 

YES: You are overthinking the situation.

If he’s sometimes tired or distracted, this doesn’t mean that he’s losing feelings for you. It simply means that other things are going on in his life that need his attention.

For example, if he works in sales, his job could stress him out more than you think. My partner, for example, has a stressful job that drains his emotional energy. 

He sometimes feels distant and absent because of that, but he loves me just the same.

7. You’re constantly on edge around him

Another indication your guy is losing interest is if his mood is seriously and continuously altered. 

To be more precise, he always seems irritated and he finds reasons to argue with you. The things that he used to find cute annoy him now. 

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Or, maybe he blows everything you say out of proportion. These are all signs he’s not as open to you as before.

He doesn’t care about understanding you or hearing you out. It’s just the opposite.

While there are ways to deal with an always-angry boyfriend, if he wasn’t always like that, something is going on.

8. He avoids honest conversation relationship’s future

How can you tell when he’s losing interest?

He doesn’t want to talk about the relationship’s future anymore.

He avoids any question or approach in this regard. 

As you probably know, talking about this topic is highly encouraged in relationships mainly because you may have different expectations than your partner, which could lead to misunderstandings.

So, if at first, he was eager to talk about becoming exclusive and labeling your relationship, and now he barely acknowledges that you’re his girlfriend, take it as a bad sign. 

It suggests that he isn’t sure where things stand between the two of you and he doesn’t want to get into it.

It shows either he is not ready for a committed relationship or he might be losing interest.

9. He shows zero interest in fixing things between you two

In a healthy relationship, both parties are encouraged to express their concerns, as well as address possible issues.

In this way, they both have a saying and a chance to work on the problems that might occur. However, sometimes, things are one-sided.

You could be in that situation. How can you be sure?

Your boyfriend doesn’t want to hear you out. On the contrary, he acts defensive and is distant whenever you try to point out a possible issue.

His willingness to compromise is close to zero and most of the time, he acts dismissive of you. It’s like your feelings or opinions don’t matter anymore.

10. He no longer makes you a part of his plans

To figure out your partner’s level of interest in you, think about how he spends his free time and whether he tries to include you. 

If lately you have no idea what he’s up to and he shares little to no information about that, maybe he’s distracted by something or someone else. 

Unless his plans are all related to school activities, work, or volunteering, then you shouldn’t worry. 

However, if he’s planning weekend getaways with his friends (and their girlfriends) and you’re not invited, don’t take it lightly.

Something is definitely going on. Maybe he’s losing interest in you or perhaps something else is happening.

11. He became distant and withdrawn around you

Be honest: Did you do something to upset him?

If you didn’t, then it’s understandable to think his interest in you has lowered.

Something happened that changed his attitude from open and loving, to distant and withdrawn, that’s for sure. But what?

To find out for sure, the best way is to try and talk to him. Over Analyzing the situation and ruminating about it won’t do you any good.

He could be pulling away from you for some reason. Do your best to find out which one! Ask him for a chance to reconnect.

12. He is going through significant life changes

Your boyfriend’s focus switched from you to other aspects of his life lately. He is going through some changes that affect him on more than one level.

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Whatever is going on in his life, it has a direct effect on your relationship. Maybe he’s too caught up in family affairs or matters related to school. 

For example, one of my first boyfriends gradually lost interest in me while he was studying to go to college. He achieved his goals, but he no longer had time for a girlfriend.

Or, the loss of a parent, for example, could have a powerful impact on anyone’s life. After I lost my father, I distanced myself from my partner for a while – but I didn’t lose interest in him.

Do your best to determine the exact situation he’s in.

13. You either have lots of sex or not at all

Is he losing interest? He might, especially if he stopped touching you that way… 

But what if having sex is all you two do together? That’s not good either! 

Although it might not look that way to you, both situations point to disinterest. How so?

Well… even if he always expresses his desire to have sex with you, if that’s all he does, it means that’s all he’s interested in.

Don’t get me wrong! It’s perfectly fine if you and your boyfriend can’t keep your hands off of each other. But if your relationship comes down to that, maybe you should reassess it.

14. You have a strange gut feeling he is losing interest

Ultimately, if you don’t have enough evidence to draw a conclusion, I recommend trusting your gut.

What does that really mean?

If you have a terrible feeling inside when you think about your partner’s is only pretending to love you, you shouldn’t ignore it.

Here’s the thing: You have the ability to notice many more things than you’re aware of. In other words, your mind gathers clues that you don’t process in a conscious way. 

That’s why your intuition speaks to you through a gut feeling. To let you know that you should be alert about a certain situation.

So, if you feel he’s drifting away, that’s probably because he is.

Has He Really Lost Interest In Me?

First and foremost, you should determine whether he is going through a stressful situation or significant life changes. 

Why? According to a new study, most men react in the same way to stress, namely, they shut down. 

In fact, men under a lot of stress are practically incapable of understanding other people’s facial expressions, especially those that express anger and fear.

With this in mind, what you perceive as disinterest from him, could in fact be a natural response to what he’s going through.

So, if you think he’s going through something like that, try to give him some space. Talking to him about your concerns will stress him even more.

Don’t wait forever, though! That would not be healthy for you.

Here’s what you can do:

As you probably know, the best approach would be to have an open discussion with him. However, if he acts angry and irritated all the time, you might not get a chance to do that.

This could simply be a phase that he must go through. Or, this could lead to the end of your relationship. 

So, think about what you really want as well and act accordingly. If he doesn’t cooperate, I’m afraid you should cut your losses and let him go. You can’t fix your relationship on your own.

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

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