15 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You

You’ve met a guy you like and maybe you could even see yourself in a relationship with him.

But does he like you back? 

There are obvious signs when a guy is so into a girl that he wants a relationship with her. He’ll make an effort to see you as much as possible, he’ll always return your texts and he’ll fit you into his schedule. 

But what are the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you?

There are at least 15 and once you know what these are, you’ll be in a better position to work out what to do next. 

15 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You

1. He Seems Distracted Or Disinterested When You’re Together 

You might think that when a guy is distracted when he’s with you he’s just being a typical guy. The attention of a goldfish, right? 

However, this is never the case when a guy is with a girl he really likes. He’ll put his phone away and he’ll give you his full attention. 

But if he zones out instead and checks his phone often, it’s a warning sign that he’s not really present in your conversation. He might even ask you to repeat yourself from time to time if he hasn’t been listening – but he’ll only ask if he cares even just a little bit. 

2. He Doesn’t Make An Effort To Get To Know You 

You notice a gap has opened up between the two of you because you feel as though you know him (because you’ve made the effort to ask questions) but he still doesn’t know you.

Sure, you’ve told him a few things about yourself. But because he never asks you questions, he doesn’t really know enough about you.

When a guy sees relationship potential with a girl, he’ll make the effort to get to know her better. He’ll ask you about your likes and dislikes, your favorite food, your family and friends and your job and hopes for the future. 

But if he couldn’t care less about a relationship, he’ll see no reason to get to know you better. 

3. He Doesn’t Use Open Body Language 

You might think it’s a trivial thing if he sits with a relaxed posture or a tense posture when he’s with you. But here’s the thing – it really isn’t trivial at all.

In fact, non-verbal communication counts for more than verbal communication because it’s never faked. How a man sits and behaves with his body when he’s with you can tell you everything you need to know about how he feels about you.

For example, if he isn’t using open body language, it’s a bad sign. This means he isn’t facing towards you, he’s crossed his arms and legs and he’s sitting with a tense posture.

He’s also fidgeting with his hands from time to time and he rarely makes eye contact with you. Worse still, he never mirrors your actions.

And by the way, mirroring is the easiest way to get into rapport with someone. A man will mirror your actions – such as you cross your legs and he crosses his – if he wants to be with you. 

4. He Rarely Opens Up Or Shares His Feelings And Thoughts With You

Perhaps you’ve already opened up to him and shared your feelings and thoughts with him because you want to create a stronger emotional bond with him. Maybe you’ve told him your fears and worries, your plans for the future, as well as any anxieties you might have about your family, friends or career.

You really want him to do the same, too. Only, he’s remained cold, impassive and closed. 

While you might think that this is just the way he is, it might also be the case that he hasn’t opened up to you yet because he isn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with you. 

And if that’s the case, he won’t ever share his thoughts and feelings with you. 

Remember, guys will only open up to girls and be vulnerable in front of them when they trust them, feel there’s a strong connection and want a relationship with them. Until that happens, they’ll stick to superficial, trivial conversations. 

5. He Hasn’t Made a Commitment To Be Exclusive With You 

Even if the two of you have hugged and kissed, it doesn’t mean he wants a relationship with you.

And this is especially the case if you feel as though the two of you have been intimate together – but he hasn’t said you’re exclusive yet.

Until he confirms you’re exclusive, he will be keeping his options open. He might still be dating other girls and he’ll definitely still be talking to them.

While this could yet change, the fact that he’s held off from confirming that he isn’t dating anyone else at the moment means that he doesn’t want a relationship with you (yet).

6. He Consistently Refers To You As A Friend (Or Treats You Like One) 

Friends hang out. They have fun, they laugh together and they chat on social media. 

People in relationships do this, too – but there are differences. 

If, for example, he rarely invites you to hang out with just himself (there are always others involved) and if there’s been no physicality between the two of you yet, he’s treating you as a friend.

It’s the same if he talks to you about his dates or the girls he’s interested in. He isn’t doing this to make you jealous – he’s doing it because he wants your advice as a friend.

The telltale signs are even stronger if he’s actually referred to you as a friend. If he does this, there are no real doubts to be had – he likes you as a friend but nothing more. 

7. He Rarely Takes Initiative Himself 

While not all guys are proactive and don’t generally like to plan things, all guys are suddenly mysteriously organized and on the ball if there’s a girl they really like! 

They’ll start imitating the conversation, they’ll plan dates and they’ll even go in for the first kiss. 

So if he never takes the initiative with you, it’s a sign that he isn’t interested in a relationship.

For example, if it always seems to be you that texts first and if it’s always down to you to plan dates and things to do with him, it means that – whatever this is – it’s one-sided. You’re doing all the heavy lifting, while he can clearly take it or leave it. 

What’s more, even if you guys have kissed before or been intimate in other ways, it always seems to be you that’s initiating everything. In relationships, it should always be split down the middle.

8. He’s Always Too Busy For You 

If you’re frustrated that he always seems to be busy whenever you ask him to do something, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a busy person in general. It possibly means that he simply doesn’t have time for you.

This can be hard to take. But if a guy really likes a girl, he will shift heaven and earth to clear his schedule for her. 

Even if he’s swamped with work and other social gatherings, he will still find time for his girl. 

So if you’re constantly fighting for a place in his schedule, you need to assess whether this guy truly is worth pursuing. If he’s not willing to prioritize you, he isn’t really worth your time. 

9. He Is Open To Dating Others 

This one circles back to exclusivity. If he hasn’t confirmed you’re exclusive, it means he’s open to offers from other girls – and it’s highly likely that he is dating other women.

Maybe you’ve seen him swiping on dating profiles or caught him sending a girl a message. While this doesn’t mean he’s actually seeing another girl, it does mean that you’re clearly not a priority in his life.

And that itself means he’s not looking for a relationship with you.

What’s more, he may even have said that you’re free to date who you want, too. This is another strong sign that he wants you to find another man because he himself just isn’t really interested right now. 

10. He Avoids Talking About The Future 

If you think about the future a lot, it’s natural that you want to find out how he feels about things. 

Does he want the same things as you do? 

Where does he see himself in five years’ time? 

Are you a part of his future plans? 

These are important questions to ask if you really like a guy and can see yourself settling down with him in the long term. Maybe you’ve voiced them out loud and spoken to him about your own plans.

Frustratingly, he’s evaded the questions and doesn’t like to talk about the future. Is it because he’s worried, scared, anxious? 

It could be any of these – but it could also be that he simply doesn’t see a future for the two of you. As such, he’ll avoid talking about it with you because he either doesn’t see the point or he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. 

11. He Often Seems Inattentive Or Dismissive When You Express Your Thoughts 

It’s not easy when you try to speak your mind to him but he dismisses it. Maybe you give your opinion on things or express an idea you have but he doesn’t even reply to it. 

And even when he does mumble something in reply, it’s as though he was barely listening to what you said! 

Does this sound like the behavior of a guy who wants to be in a relationship with you?

Relationships are built on healthy respect between two people. Just like he should be allowed to express his thoughts and opinions, you should be allowed to express yours.

But if it always seems like you’re fighting to be heard by him, it signals that he isn’t really listening. And if he isn’t listening, it means that he doesn’t truly value or respect your opinion, which is a really strong sign that he’s not keen to move things forward with you. 

12. He Doesn’t Integrate You Into His Social Circle 

When a man likes a woman, he won’t necessarily keep her all to himself. Instead, he’ll introduce her to his social circle so that she can get to know his friends.

This means he’ll invite you to group events, such as parties or meals, and he’ll definitely make it a point of introducing you to his closest/best friends.

If he hasn’t done this just yet, you might be wondering why. Does he want to keep you a secret?

And if he does want to keep you a secret … why? 

Being kept a secret from your man’s friends isn’t sexy, cool or fun. It simply suggests that he isn’t ready to take the next step with you.

After all, once his friends know about you, it basically means you’re a couple. This means the dynamics of the relationship will change and you’ll be expected to go out as a couple with other couples he knows. 

So if you’re still not part of his social group, it means you’re not truly a key part of this life – which means he doesn’t want a relationship with you. 

13. He’s Not Reliable Or Trustworthy 

A man you’re in a relationship with has to be someone you can trust, rely on and depend on. When you’re in a tricky situation and need help, he needs to be the one person you can turn to.

If he’s just a friend? Sure, he’ll be there for you sometimes – but he’s not someone you can rely on all the time. 

It all comes down to effort. When a man likes a woman and wants to be with her, he will do all he can to prove that he’s someone she can rely on and trust.

He won’t let you down when you plan things, he doesn’t lie to you and he never backtracks. He is dependable and consistent. 

If he is none of these, it shows that he isn’t putting any effort in. 

14. He Only Meets You For Sex

Perhaps the biggest indication of his true feelings for you is whether or not he meets you just for sex.

In other words, are you just a booty call for him?

At first, meeting for sex might seem like fun. But when you develop deeper feelings for him, you’ll want to spend time with him in other ways.

Maybe you’ll want to go for walks with him or catch a movie at the cinema with him. But try all you can, he’s resistant to absolutely everything.

Indeed, each time he meets you, he steers things towards sex as soon as possible.

While this can make you feel desirable and wanted, it isn’t the foundation for a relationship. Yes, he finds you hot – but he hasn’t yet connected with you emotionally.

And until he connects with you emotionally and sex is all you have, it’s not a relationship. 

15. He Shows No Spark Or Undertones 

If a man is into you and wants a relationship, there’ll be a certain spark to him when he’s with you. 

He’ll flirt with you, make suggestive comments (undertone) and talk to you like someone who’s more than just a friend. He’ll make an extra effort to make you laugh and he’ll tell naughty jokes and say naughty things. 

If there’s none of this and your conversations are always a tad polite, it’s another strong sign that, while he likes you as a friend, there’s no spark within him whenever he’s with you.

When two people click, on the other hand, there are fireworks. You feel the temperature rising and know instinctively that he feels the same way.

Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want a Relationship? 

A man can still like you and enjoy your company without wanting a relationship with you. This is because he sees you as someone attractive who he’d like to have sex with … but he hasn’t made an emotional bond with you and therefore doesn’t feel the need to take this to the next level.

It might also be the case that he simply hasn’t yet made his mind up. Maybe he is scared of commitment and is therefore keeping you at a distance, even if he actually does like you. 

Should I Cut Him Off?

This all depends on whether or not you think he’s worth your time and effort. If you like the guy and think he’s trying to figure things out in his mind about you, you could pursue him and convince him you’re the one for him. 

The best way to do this is to trigger his “hero” response, which is when you act as though you need him. 

After all, guys will chase girls who they feel they can protect, serve and take care of. If you’re too independent and act as though you can deal with life by yourself, he’ll be less inclined to see you as relationship material.

On the other hand, if you’re tired of him being cold and distant, and if you’re tired of making all the effort, it might be time to cut your losses and see who else is out there that will appreciate you for who you are. 

About Will Titterington

Will Titterington is a highly sought-after relationship coach and author, with a passion for helping individuals and couples build and maintain healthy, thriving relationships. Will loves connecting with new people from all around the world and is always up for a good laugh, and takes joy in making others smile.

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