I know it’s hard to admit when a guy just isn’t into you. You like him and really wanted to make this work.
But the sooner you’re able to figure out his feelings, the quicker you’ll be able to move on from him.
The good news is that guys give us a few different signs that let you know whether he’s into you – or whether he isn’t
In this article, I’m going to focus on the latter (I know, boo!). I’ll be running you through the 13 telltale signs that he’s not into you, as well as giving you some advice on what you can do next.
Let’s start.
13 Signs He’s Not Into You:
1. He Rarely Initiates Communication With You
If something is one-sided, it’s rarely a good thing. And this is especially the case when it comes to starting a conversation.
Take a look at your recent messages and conversations with him. Did you start the convo 9 times out of 10?
If so, this is a warning sign that he’s not feeling this. After all, if a guy is really into a girl, he’ll chase her to the ends of the earth.
If, however, you’re the one constantly starting a conversation with him, it might be time to put your efforts elsewhere.
2. He Frequently Cancels Dates Or Is Non-Committal
Sometimes he cancels dates altogether and even if he doesn’t, he’s noncommittal.
You know how it goes. You ask him to do something and he always says “maybe” or “I’ll get back to you!”
Sometimes he doesn’t reply at all, in which case you have to nudge him for an answer.
And when you do agree on a date, you’re so worried that he might cancel that you have to confirm that he’s still interested in meeting up. Then he says, “I might be! I’ll let you know.”
All of this shows a lack of respect for your time, which suggests that he’s not really into you. If he was, he’d clear his schedule to see you.
3. He Shows Interest In Other Females
There are different ways he can show interest in other females. One is that he’s still using dating apps, which is a massive sign that he’s not that into you.
Another way he can express his interest in other girls is by physically talking to them and flirting with them in different scenarios. For example, if you guys go to a club or a bar or even a restaurant, he can be seen making a beeline for other women.
Even if he doesn’t go over to them and talk to them, he’s still checking them out with his eyes and saying to you how hot someone else is. None of this bodes well for the two of you and it might be time to cut your losses.
4. He Doesn’t Open Up To You Emotionally
Some girls see men as emotionless robots who keep their thoughts, feelings and vulnerabilities to themselves.
But while it’s true that men will often keep things to themselves, the truth of the matter is that they will open up to women … but only when the woman is the right one for them.
So if this guy doesn’t want to connect with you on a deeper level and if he’s never shown his true emotions to you, you should probably take it as a sign that he isn’t into you.
Opening his heart to a woman is a big step and he will only cross that particular line if he sees a future with said woman.
5. He Never Smiles When He Sees You
You can usually judge how into you a guy is by how happy he is to see you.
If there’s a HUGE smile on his face when you walk into the room? It means he’s really excited to see you and loves spending time with you!
On the other hand, if he literally never smiles when he sees you, it suggests that, while he might like you as a friend, he doesn’t have the same excitement he would have if he was into you.
Not smiling doesn’t mean he definitely isn’t hot for you because it might be the case that he simply is the kind of man who doesn’t smile often. But even the most melancholy types of guys will usually smile at some point when they’re hanging out with the girl they really like.
6. He Is Not Reliable
Okay, I know that guys are often unreliable at the best of times.
But here’s the thing: Guys become more reliable when they’re spending time with women they like.
It’s amazing but the effort a guy will put in to become Mr Reliable when he likes a girl is quite something to see! They will be on time, they will never cancel plans (unless they have a very good reason) and you’ll suddenly start to see them as the most dependable person in your life.
So if this guy is inconsistent and often either cancels plans, forgets your plans or is often late, it’s another sign that he’s not as into you as you’re into him.
7. He Doesn’t Try To Align His Life With Yours Or Include You In His Future Plans
Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re making too many compromises for this guy? Maybe you’re changing your habits or even your whole lifestyle just to accommodate him?
Maybe you’re even rearranging your future plans so that he can be a part of them?
This is totally fine as long as he’s doing the same. But is he?
The reason this is important is because there’s literally no future between two people if one person hasn’t included the other in their future. If he was at all interested, he would have accommodated you into his plans by now and made a few adjustments to the way he lived.
If, on the other hand, he’s still talking about a future that doesn’t involve you it’s probably because the thought of you two being together simply hasn’t entered his head.
8. He Doesn’t Show Interest In What You Say
Imagine you share something meaningful with him … but he just nods and says “uh-huh”?
You’d be upset and hurt because he clearly isn’t listening.
And when you say to him, “you’re not listening to me,” he defends himself with “I am listening!”
Worse still, he’s still playing on his phone when you’re with him in a cafe or a park. You’re leading the conversation while he’s still swiping along on his phone.
The truth is that if a man doesn’t express any interest in what you’re saying, he isn’t interested in you. He doesn’t care what you got up to today and he doesn’t want to listen to your personal problems.
In general, this means that he isn’t boyfriend material. After all, a man who likes you would hang onto every word and ask questions based on what you’ve just told him.
9. He Doesn’t Ask Questions About Your Life
Following on from the above point, a man who is interested in a woman would ask questions to learn more about her.
This is because men who genuinely like someone are curious about them.
Not just that but they want to keep the conversation going and in order to do that, they will ask you questions about your life.
Maybe a man will ask how well you get along with your family or what your future plans are. Maybe he’ll even ask about your past, including any relationships you’ve had.
A man asks these questions also to learn more about you because he needs to know how compatible the two of you are. He’s sounding you out to see if you’re really the right girl for him.
If, on the other hand, he never asks you questions it shows that he isn’t curious enough to know more about you.
10. He Doesn’t Try To Align His Life With Yours
Even if a man is into a woman, it doesn’t mean he has to turn his life upside down for her.
But if he’s into you, he will make some effort to align his life in a few ways with yours.
For example, if you both have something in common – such as working out – he might suggest that you go to the gym together in order to keep each other motivated.
Or if there’s something you’re interested in and he’s always wanted to do, he might suddenly decide to give it a try.
It’s the same for your future plans – he’ll somehow work out a way that they could coincide with his, such as your dream to move to a different city one day.
But if a man is making no effort to adjust his life in order to align it with yours, it shows that he’s barely even thinking about how the two of you could synchronize.
11. He Never Includes Himself In Your Social Gatherings
Maybe you’d love him to be at your social gatherings because you want him to meet your friends. After all, you like this guy and you want to see what your friends will think of him.
Will they like him? Will they be able to help you figure out whether he likes you?
But the thing is, he always finds an excuse not to come to your social gatherings. If you host a house party, he isn’t there.
And even if he says he might come, he doesn’t turn up anyway. Worse still, he either hasn’t met your friends yet or he barely made an effort to speak to them when he did meet them.
Is this an issue? It’s not a huge issue if you’re already dating and he simply doesn’t get along with your friends or he’s not the social type.
But if you’re not dating and he doesn’t involve himself with your gatherings, it’s a sign he’s not into you.
There’s a chance he might be a tad shy. But even a shy guy who likes a girl will make some effort to overcome his anxieties and be at her social gatherings.
So if this guy makes no effort at all to hang out with you and your friends, you can take it as a read that in his mind he has better things to do.
12. He Doesn’t Seem To Care About Your Relationship Status
Has he asked if you’re single? Does he ask if you use dating apps?
And what about when you talk to other guys? How does he react?
Any man who is into a girl and trying to work out her feelings for him will express some jealousy if she says she’s using dating apps. He’ll perhaps express even more jealousy if she tells him upfront that she’s seeing other men.
And he’ll definitely feel jealous if he actually sees you talking to another guy.
But when a man isn’t interested in a girl, he doesn’t care what her relationship status is. You can talk to all the guys you want and he won’t react!
And if he encourages you to chat with other men? Yeah, he definitely isn’t into you.
13. His Body Language Is Reserved and Uninviting
You can generally tell how into you a guy is just by looking at his body language. If it’s warm and inviting – he sits facing you, gazes into your eyes and sits with an open stance – it suggests he likes you and enjoys your company.
If he rarely looks you in the eyes, fidgets with his hands and sits with crossed arms, it means he’s displaying colder body language – and this usually means he’s bored, uncomfortable and not feeling this.
Should you read a lot into body language?
Yes.
Body language is a non-verbal form of communication that we usually do unconsciously. If we’re uncomfortable and not into someone, our feelings will manifest themselves in the way we sit and act.
What Should You Do Now?
Hopefully this article has helped you to decide whether or not he likes you.
If he does, there’s not too much you need to do right now other than keep doing whatever it is you’ve been doing. It’s clearly working and – with any luck – he will eventually ask you out.
If he isn’t into you but you really like him, it’s not a lost cause just yet. For example, you could aim to trigger his “hero” instinct by making him feel like he’s your knight in shining armor.
After all, men will only commit to women who depend on them. He needs to know you’re the kind of woman who needs him and looks up to him as her protector.
If you can start doing that, there’s every chance he’ll feel like the hero he wants to be … and at that point, he might just start chasing you.
