13 (Brutal) Signs He Is Pretending To Love You

The idea that a guy might only be pretending to love you isn’t nice.

But if you’re here today, it’s because you’re worried that the man you love isn’t really in love with you – he’s just faking it. 

He’s told you he loves you but his actions suggest something isn’t right. 

The sad fact is that this sometimes happens. A guy will romance you, tell you he loves you and make you believe everything he says. 

The reality is that things aren’t adding up. He’s evasive about his feelings, he never opens up emotionally and he doesn’t listen to you.

Is all this simply part of his cold personality? Or is he pretending to love you?

Let’s find out.

13 Signs He Is Pretending To Love You

1. You’re Missing From His Priority List 

Maybe when you started dating him you were top of his priority list. He made sure he was on time for your dates and he always cleared his schedule for you.

Nowadays, you’ve been bumped down to second, third, fourth – heck, maybe you’re not even on the list at all.

This is a huge warning sign that he isn’t in love with you. Any man that is in love with a woman will always make her number one priority with zero exceptions.

2. His Body Language Doesn’t Match What He Says 

Sure, he can tell you he loves you. But what if something isn’t right about his body language?

What if his body language is cold, distant and impersonal? 

Non-verbal communication (body language) is more important than verbal communication. In other words, you can tell how a man feels about you by looking at how he behaves, as opposed to listening to what he says.

For example, a fake smile is easy to spot. If his smile is genuine – what’s known as the Duchenne smile – you will notice crow’s legs around his eyes. 

If there are no crow’s feet, it could mean he’s only pretending to smile. 

Eye contact is important, too. If he avoids eye contact, it generally means he isn’t in rapport with you and doesn’t feel a connection.

It’s the same with his feet. If he orients them towards you, it indicates he is feeling this and loves you. 

3. Your Relationship Is Not Official 

Some men will hesitate about making their new relationship official. They’ll come up with a bunch of excuses as to why you should wait until you tell all your friends and family. 

While this is okay at first (it’s not really okay), it becomes unacceptable as the weeks and months pass. Eventually, a relationship must become official.

Otherwise, is it really a relationship? Probably not.

If your man constantly puts off making you guys official, it demonstrates that he’s scared of commitment. Either that or he isn’t convinced you’re the right one for him.

As a result, he’ll do all he can to avoid making the relationship official, including coming up with a bunch of lousy excuses. 

4. He Rarely Shows Affection Through His Actions Or Words

If your man loves you, there will be some affection. Even if he claims “I’m not the affectionate type,” it doesn’t matter – he’ll still show affection, even if he doesn’t even realize he’s showing it.

Either he’ll hug you, kiss you and caress you tenderly when you’re feeling down or he’ll raise your spirits through his words, telling you he loves you, cares for you and will always be there for you.

These are sweet things to say to a girl he loves. But if they’re noticeably absent in your relationship, it’s a telltale sign that he simply can’t bring himself to say them.

And even when he does tell you he loves you, you can tell there’s no meaning or affection behind his words. They feel empty to you, as though he’s only saying these things because you said them first.

5. He Is Emotionally Closed Off With You 

When you love a man, it’s natural that you want him to open up to you. You want to be the first person he comes to when he has a problem, and you want to know everything about him.

If he’s ever going to display vulnerability, you want to be sure that it’s you he’s vulnerable with.

And yet if his friends know more about him than you do and if he literally never opens up to you, it’s a bad sign. It means that, despite what he might have said to you, he still hasn’t established an emotional connection with you. 

He’s distant from you because he feels distant and has no reason to open up to you. He simply doesn’t love you the way you love him. 

6. He Doesn’t Listen To You 

It’s infuriating when a man doesn’t listen to you. You tell him things, you confide in him and open up to you … but he’s taken nothing in.

And when you ask him what he thinks of what you just said to him, he hasn’t got a clue.

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Men who love their women are so devoted to them that they hang on their every word. Moreover, they respect them – and this means they always listen to them.

So if your man always zones out when you talk and seems distracted, it’s another sign that he’s only pretending to love you.

7. The ‘We’ Is Missing From His Conversations

You might use the “we” a lot in your conversations with him. For example, maybe you’ll say something like “we should go there sometime.”

It’s normal – you’re a couple, you love him and so naturally you use the “we.” 

He, on the other hand, prefers to focus on “I.” Instead of “we should go there,” it’s “I’d love to go there.” 

While you might think this is just a slip of the tongue, it demonstrates that you’re not a key part of his thoughts. If he thought about you more and if he truly loved you, he wouldn’t forget to turn more “I’s” into “we’s.” 

8. He Doesn’t Seem Too Excited To Meet You 

Whenever you meet, what is his mood like? Is he super excited? 

… Or does he always seem morose and bored? 

While it’s totally okay to sometimes be in a low mood, it’s kinda weird if a man is always unexcited to see the girl he claims to love. Maybe he’s depressed – but even if he is, this is something you should talk about with him.

On the contrary, if your man barely seems happy whenever he meets you, it’s a sign that he’s going through the motions. While he might tell you that he loves you, his actions clearly suggest otherwise. 

9. He Doesn’t Talk About The Future And Make Any Plans 

Some people prefer not to talk about the future, even with their partners. But while that’s okay at first, it’s not okay later down the line if you’re with the person you claim to love.

After all, when two people love each other it’s normal that they plan their life together. This then ensures that they’re both on the same page and know where each other stands.

So if he’s evasive about his future plans and never asks you about yours, it’s a sign that he hasn’t even thought about a future with you. And this means that he doesn’t love you the way he says he does.

10. He Only Seems Interested In Meeting Up For Physical Intimacy 

Sex is, of course, a natural part of any relationship. A relationship isn’t a healthy one if there’s no physical intimacy. 

At the same time, a healthy relationship is one that’s built on much more than just sex. It’s one that allows you the freedom to express yourself in different ways and learn new things about your partner.

But how can you learn more about them if all they want to do is have sex each time they see you? 

He might claim that you’re “really hot” and that he can’t help himself. But it isn’t enough. 

If a man only seems interested in meeting up for physical intimacy, it shows that he is attracted to you – but what else is in this relationship for him?

Until he figures that out, he might be confusing his feelings of love for lust. 

11. You’ve Noticed Inconsistencies In His Stories 

Honesty is the bedrock of all successful relationships. The moment he tells you he loves you is the moment you expect him to be upfront with you about everything.

After all, it’s the least you can expect. Why would a man lie to the woman he loves?

If, however, you’ve noticed that his stories aren’t adding up sometimes – in other words, there are holes and inconsistencies when he tells you where he was the previous week before he accidentally corrected himself – it’s a strong sign that he’s telling lies. This not only means he doesn’t respect you, it also means he’s not 100% committed to the relationship.

And if he isn’t 100% committed, it could be because he’s only pretending to love you. If he’s lied about other things, he can for sure lie about his feelings. 

Also, his lies might only seem trivial to the point where you’re thinking “why lie about such a thing?” 

But if a man is capable of telling small lies about anything and everything, including what movie he watched last night with a buddy, it suggests he’s capable of telling bigger lies. 

12. He Doesn’t Remember Special Dates and Moments

You remember special dates and moments. Not because you’re a “woman” – you remember them because you love him and treasure your time together.

If he loves you, it’s only normal to expect him to remember them, too. He can’t use the fact that he’s a “guy” to excuse himself from this one.

Both men and women who love each other remember things like the first time they met, the first time they kissed and what they did on their first date.

They also make it a point to remember each other’s birthdays and achievements. 

If he literally makes zero effort to remember anything – and yet can remember his first-ever football match! – it’s another clear sign that he’s faking his love. 

13. He Shows No Concern For Your Interactions With Other Men

While no one wants to date a truly jealous man, it’s kinda nice when your man is a tiny bit jealous. It makes you feel wanted and loved when he asks “who that guy was.” 

So it’s all the more galling when your man simply doesn’t care about your interactions with other men. He sees you talking to them and maybe he even sees you innocently flirting with them – but he doesn’t care.

Why? Is it because he hasn’t a single jealous bone in his body?

Possible. But even the most trusting men show some concern for the way their woman talks to other men.

So if he couldn’t care less who you talk to, it could mean he isn’t jealous because he doesn’t love you. 

Why Would He Pretend To Love You? 

He has options but he is not sure. It might be the case that he really does like you. But because he has other options that he’s still keeping around, he can’t make his mind up about what to do.

He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. He might not realize it but by keeping you hanging on like this, he’s only going to hurt your feelings even more when you call him out on the fact that he doesn’t really love you. For now, he can’t bring himself to tell you to your face – and he possibly wants you to figure it out for yourself. 

He wants to impress others. Especially if all his friends think you’re a really nice, attractive girl, it’s possible that he wants to keep dating you to bolster his own masculinity and ego. 

He’s just looking to meet his own needs. If he’s getting a lot out of this relationship physically and even emotionally, he’ll keep seeing you just to keep satisfying his own needs – even though he has no real intentions of settling down with you. 

He’s emotionally unavailable. Lastly, there’s a chance that he hasn’t matured or grown up enough yet to even realize what true love is. 


After reading this article, you might be a bit clearer about how he truly feels about you. In other words, whether he actually does love you – or whether he’s faking it. 

At this point, the next best thing to do is to speak to him about your concerns and find out how he really feels about you. This will help to put your mind at rest and allow you to move on, either with him or without him.

The sooner you find out, the sooner you know where to invest your time, energy and money. 

About Will Titterington

Will Titterington is a highly sought-after relationship coach and author, with a passion for helping individuals and couples build and maintain healthy, thriving relationships. Will loves connecting with new people from all around the world and is always up for a good laugh, and takes joy in making others smile.

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