If you want to deepen the connection you have with your girlfriend, you should diversify your conversations.
….Without knowing her views on important topics such as children, future goals, and role models, you risk spending time with someone you don’t really match with.
Plus, if you want to get more intimate with her, you need to know what turns her on, what she dislikes, and what’s her idea of the perfect romance.
You might have thought “Yes, I want to do this”, but the moment you sit together, questions vanish, and you’re lost scrolling through Instagram.
But it’s about time you end these shallow interactions and win her heart by opening the right topics and asking the right questions. Experts say that question-asking increases likeability.
So, don’t be afraid to open up.
But, before we hit you with things to talk about with your girlfriend, here’s what you need to know about…
What Should I Talk About With My Girlfriend?
In this section, we will reveal 7 actionable tips to transform your chats from mundane to magical. Ready to become a master conversationalist? Let’s dive in!
The Open-Ended Question Goldmine:
Forget yes/no questions. Open-ended questions are where the magic happens. They invite her to share her thoughts and experiences, keeping the conversation lively and engaging.
Unearthing Common Ground:
Finding shared interests or values creates a solid foundation for meaningful conversations. Not only does it boost rapport, but it also leads to more in-depth discussions. Explore her interests together and watch your bond grow.
Storytelling for Connection:
Share personal stories and experiences to create an atmosphere of trust and vulnerability. This encourages her to open up, deepening your understanding of each other and fostering emotional intimacy.
Trendy Topics for Thought-Provoking Talks:
Discuss current events, from news to pop culture, to spark fascinating conversations. Be mindful of sensitive topics, but don’t shy away from understanding each other’s viewpoints.
The Light-Hearted Banter Formula:
Balance deep conversations with light-hearted banter, funny stories, and shared memories. This mix keeps your chats fresh, fun, and intimate, creating a stronger bond between you two.
The Power of Active Listening:
Transform your conversations by truly listening to your partner. Nod, maintain eye contact, and summarize her points to show you’re engaged. This secret sauce demonstrates that you genuinely care about her opinions and feelings.
Put these 7 proven tips into action and watch your conversations with your girlfriend soar to new heights. You’ll be amazed at how these simple tactics can deepen your connection and strengthen your relationship.
55 Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend
We’ve gathered an extensive list of 54 topics for you to bring up in your daily conversations, and even your first date. A man who cares to have good conversations is deeply attractive. So stay curious. Ask, and listen to her.
1. Her Passions And Hobbies
Everyone has something they’re passionate about. Help her discover it. Or at least help her notice it. Maybe she likes deep philosophical conversations. Maybe she often writes poems on her notes app. Let her express herself and avoid being judgmental.
Suggestion: “Have you ever thought of making a career out of your passion?”
2. Her Favorite Coffee Order
Women put so much emphasis on simple gestures like this, so it’s worth the effort of discussing and memorizing what she prefers to order. Black coffee with little sugar, or a medium Latte with caramel? Get to know it and surprise her the next morning with the cup in your hands.
Suggestion: “If you’re allowed to order only one type of drink or coffee for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
3. Things You Have In Common
Two aspects of your personality you should discuss with each other are similarities and distinctions. Since you’ve fallen for each other, there are definitely more similarities than differences between the two. Make sure to keep focusing on them, but don’t keep any skeletons in the closet either.
Suggestion: “What trait of yourself do you see mostly in me?”
4. Future Relationship Goals
You don’t want to end up falling for her and dreaming of a future together, while she simply wanted to have a good time. Avoid getting your heart broken, and start talking about where this relationship could go.
Suggestion: “What’s your idea of the ideal husband?”
5. What You Admire About Each Other
Knowing what she admires about you makes it far easier to stay in the shoes of the man she admires. Maybe she loves your beard. Consider keeping it. Maybe she loves it when you cook together. Keep doing it. And share what you admire about her. Is it the way she dresses or keeps her hair? Tell her.
Suggestion: “What’s one thing you’d never want me to change in myself?”
6. Her Communication Style
Differences in communication can make or break your relationship when the first conflicts come up. To avoid ending up confused when she shuts down during an argument, learn what’s her way of calming herself down.
Suggestion: “How would you react if I forget to run an important errand or when something goes terribly wrong?”
7. How She Likes To Receive Affection
We’re all unique, especially in the way we want to receive love. Share with each other what comforts you. Do you prefer to get physical all the time, or you’re more into small meaningful gestures such as writing letters, or simply staying hugged for a long time?
Suggestion: “What do you want me to do when you’re sad?”
8. Her Love Language
Talk about your love language. What warms your heart and draws you closer to each other? Is it motivational words, frequent gifts, or physical touch? Sit down with her and share with each other what you long for in a partner.
Suggestion: “What could I do repeatedly to make you feel loved?”
9. Biggest Life Challenges
We all got our personal mountains to climb. What’s hers? Do you know the crucial periods of her life where she struggled the most? Discover what challenges she aims to conquer and what has she passed already. Knowing her challenges tells you where you should lend a hand to support her.
Suggestion: “What are some challenges you’re proud to have overcome?”
10. Her Weaknesses
Avoid making her feel uncomfortable. You should aim to help her improve herself but don’t push her into doing things she hates. That’s why it’s a good idea to know her weaknesses. Start by sharing yours so she feels more comfortable sharing hers.
Suggestion: “What gives you uncontrollable anxiety?”
11. Her Idea Of Romance
Does she prefer long drives under the afternoon sunset, or she just wants to binge-watch her favorite movies snuggled in your chest? Find out her ideal idea of romance and make it possible for her.
Suggestion: “What’s that idea of romance you always long for?”
12. How She Deals With Conflict At Office
How she behaves at work reveals much about her character. You want to understand how she handles tense situations. Because in the future that could turn into one of the ways she reacts with you, or your acquaintances.
Suggestion: “If a colleague ruined your project but the boss blamed you, what would you do?”
13. Improving The Relationship
Relationships are like puzzles, except that people aren’t fixed pieces. They need to smooth out their edges until they fit the puzzle. Two partners should work on their relationship together. And no hack can help you achieve this better than sharing what you value in a relationship.
Suggestion: “What do you find intolerable in a relationship?”
14. About Your Families
Relatives and family backgrounds can be a deal-breaker. Even though couples are more independent nowadays when making decisions, knowing more about your girlfriend’s parents, helps you understand her better. We inherit almost all of our prevalent traits from our parents.
Suggestion: “What traditions do you respect and follow in your family?”
15. Money And Financial Goals
Do your goals match when it comes to finances? Is she a party girl who wants to be provided for by someone or a frugal woman who earns what she spends? Is she a long-term planner or someone who lives day to day?
Suggestion: “How much money do you wish to make per month, and how would you spend it?”
After you’ve been together for a while, it’s time to talk about kids. You should know what her thoughts on having kids are. Maybe you wish to have three beautiful boys while she has decided to spend her life traveling the world and climbing her career ladder instead of having kids.
Suggestion: “How do you picture your ideal family?”
17. Health And Wellness Goals
If you’re a night owl sleeping at 6 a.m. you won’t get along with someone who wakes up at 6:30 a.m. and begs to go jogging together. And vice versa. So talk about your wellness and health goals and find a way to align them.
Suggestion: “How can I support your wellness goals?”
18. Her Dream Career
Career talk appears to be important for women. 71% of single women surveyed said a man with a good job is deeply attractive. Talking about careers and career goals shows you have a vision for the future.
Suggestion: “Has your dream career changed over the years?”
19. Something She Always Wanted To Do But Never Got A Chance
We all have our little regrets but we avoid talking about them because only a few people can understand us. Be one of those rare people. Encourage her to be vulnerable with you, and don’t be afraid to open up yourself either.
Suggestion: “What’s something (no matter how foolish or childish it sounds) you’ve always wanted to do?”
20. Unexplored Intimate Preferences (Roleplay Ideas, Arousing Situations, Unexplored Fantasies, Favorite Positions, Toys)
Sexual fantasies aren’t to be kept discreet and hidden from your partner. Actually, experts say that sexual fantasies can be beneficial for your relationship. Sharing them with your partner leads to a satisfying experience in the bedroom and closer bonding.
Suggestion: “What’s the dirtiest sexual fantasy you’ve had cross your mind at least once?”
21. Travel Aspirations And Plans
Traveling changes our worldviews, but our desire to travel also shows how open-minded we are. A close-minded person would consider traveling either a luxury or tiresome. If she is curious and plans to travel and discover new places and cultures, it means she’s someone with a growth mindset.
Suggestion: “If you could pick only one place in the world to visit, where would you go?”
22. Living Preferences
Talking about your favorite place(s) tells you directly what kind of lifestyle she wants to have, and whether it matches yours. You might be fond of the suburban areas where you grew up, but she could prefer to live in big cities and even overseas. So start talking about this before it’s too late.
Suggestion: “What’s the ideal place for you to live?”
23. Her Favorite Things
As we mentioned above, small gestures like surprising her with her favorite coffee order will mean a lot to your girlfriend. So start discovering more about what she likes. Such conversations are usually opened during the first dates, but it doesn’t have to end there.
Suggestion: “What’s your favorite food, singer, or sport?”
24. Concerns And Worries
While you might be a meticulous perfectionist, she could be the type of person who acts fast and doesn’t like to see you spend hours to take decisions. So get to know her pet peeves. Knowing what she likes is important but knowing what she doesn’t is equally important.
Suggestion: “Tell me about a time you’ve been badly stressed out?”
25. Her Favorite Relaxation And De-Stress Techniques
Stress is inevitable, and everyone has their own way of coping with it. Some prefer sleeping. Some running. Others meditating or journaling. Find out what works for her, and talk about it. You’ll end up sharing valuable de-stressing techniques to stay mentally healthy.
Suggestion: “Have you ever meditated? And if not, how do you relax in stressful situations?”
26. Childhood Memories & Photos With Backstories
Simply talking about childhood has the potential to make you both feel like kids once again for a few moments. However, don’t insist much if she doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe she’s had a difficult childhood filled with traumas, and it’s best not to push her to scratch those wounds.
Suggestion: “What was your favorite time of the day as a kid?”
27. Her Favorite Books Or Podcasts
Podcasts are the trendiest way to stay informed and learn new things, while books never get old. The two of them are endless streams of conversation topics, enough to keep you chatting for hours. Knowing her favorite topics tells you what she is thinking most of the time. For instance, if she loves romance books, she craves romantic moments and sweet gifts.
Suggestion: “What books or podcasts have you enjoyed the most?”
28. Current Events And News
You don’t have to turn this into a boring rant about politics or anything like it. But knowing what she thinks of the news shows whether she updates herself and likes new things or not. Either way, it’s a great way to get to know her perspective on the world.
Suggestion: “Do you plan on voting this year?”
29. Favorite Date Ideas
Don’t be that guy who plans dates in the places he likes without considering what his partner enjoys. Is she an outdoor or indoor person? Does she prefer morning walks or movie nights? Find out what her favorite date ideas are and try to remember them for the next time you plan a date.
Suggestion: “Tell me, what spot would be perfect for a romantic date?”
30. Her Favorite Food
Food is never a bad topic. Discover her favorite culinary choices, and get to know her opinion on your preferences. Here it’s also the time to determine who’s going to reign in the kitchen. Will you share your meal-cooking duties or one of you will cook most of the time?
Suggestion: “What’s that one dish you’re proud to cook?”
31. Music, Movie, And TV Show Preferences
Share your favorite music preferences and tell each other who are your favorite singers. Our music tastes and cinematography preferences reveal a part of our personality. By knowing them, you learn more about her emotional states, perspectives on life, and her mindset overall.
Suggestion: “Which songs can you listen to on repeat without getting bored?”
32. Go-To Songs And Favorite Actors
Is she a Zendaya fan or someone who loves grandiose movies and admires the likes of Roberto de Niro, and Al Pacino? Would you binge-watch the Godfather series with her without dozing off? The same goes for songs. Get to know her tastes so the next time you book cinema tickets you can select the right movie.
Suggestion: “What’s your go-to song whenever you feel sad? Which movie makes you emotional every time you watch it?”
33. Her Role Models
Everyone has a role model. And sometimes more than one. They inspire and provide some kind of moral or lifestyle compass that guides our decisions and the way we dress, talk, or behave. Who’s her role model and why does she admire them? Is it a hardworking relative or a famous celebrity?
Suggestion: “Who inspires you to continue through tough moments?”
34. Bucket List Items
Where’s that list of places you’ve planned to visit in your life? Dig it up and share it with her. Talk about traveling together. Show her what made you want to visit specific places. This can lead to endless conversations about these places, their food, culture, traditions, etc.
Suggestion: “What place from your bucket list is a must-visit for you and why?”
35. Dream Location To Settle Down
Where does she wish to settle down for the long term? Does she prefer a quiet small house in a tranquil city like Irvine, or a big house in the buzzing metropolitan areas of New York? Can she keep up with the fast-pacing life you want and vice versa? Do you share the same picture of the ideal life?
Suggestion: “In which city would you want to settle down if money wasn’t an issue?”
36. Favorite Flowers And Pets
Are you both cat lovers or she’s mostly in love with dogs? If she prefers dogs and you prefer cats, can you fall to an agreement about what pet to keep? Flowers spark a similar joy to pets. As a man, you should get to know what her favorite flowers are so you can surprise her with your gifts.
Suggestion: “Are you a cat person or a dog person?”
37. Life-Changing Books
There is at least one book in our lives that impacted our understanding of the world and pushed us to form a different perspective on it. The best relationships are those where you learn from each other. Talk about those books that had an impact on you and learn what books have helped her.
Suggestion: “What book has helped you through confusing phrases in your life?”
38. Things That Make Her Feel Alive
We’re unique, and we all have a few hobbies, or activities that move us. What’s that blood-rushing activity that makes her feel alive? The same goes for you. Share your special activities, and consider what you can do together.
Suggestion: “What makes you feel excited and relaxed after a long day of work?”
39. Secrets And Strange Dreams
We don’t often share our strange dreams with anyone because we’re afraid we’ll look dumb. But opening up about them to each other will make the atmosphere between the two comfy. As with dreams, a similar thing happens to secret-sharing. Sharing secrets will bond you closer to your SO.
Suggestion: “What’s one secret you’ve never told anyone?”
40. What’s Her Desired Superpower
Ah, superpowers. Growing up watching superhero movies, we all fantasized about having one of their superpowers. With them, we could arrive faster home, impress our friends, or discover what others are hiding from us. So it’s a topic that could bring back childhood memories, and lead to more intimate conversations about hidden desires and fears, or regrets.
Suggestion: “What superpower do you wish you had and what would you do with it?”
41. What Are Her Views On AI
Time to get more serious. You won’t talk about love and sweet things all day. Artificial Intelligence is taking over the world. It’s the elephant in the room of conversation topics whenever we want to have a chat with someone. Get to know what she thinks of ChatGPT, the future of the job market, and more.
Suggestion: “Do you think it’s fair for AI-generated art to compete in contests alongside human artists?”
42. Views On Gender Roles And Feminism
Feminism is blowing all over the world to all possible extents. Is your girlfriend simply in favor of being an independent woman or does she look down on the role of the man in a relationship? Talk about feminism and how she defines the role of the man and the woman in a relationship.
Suggestion: “What’s your attitude towards feminism?”
43. Ask Her About Your Annoying Habits
We wish we had only positive traits, but the reality is that each of us has some pretty annoying habits not everyone is ready to put up with. What are some habits you can’t stop? Do you snore or roll around in the bed all night? Find out what she thinks about your habits, and what she can’t tolerate.
Suggestion: “Uhmm…I’ve never been good at keeping my room organized. Would you have an issue with it?”
44. Regrettable Purchases
If you’ve ever scrolled through Wish, chances are that you’ve bought at least once something dumb you didn’t really need. Share with each other what are some things you purchased that made you instantly regret once you got home. (Here you’ll see her shopping habits come clear.)
Suggestion: “What’s one thing you bought and regretted immediately about it?”
45. Childhood Crushes
Ah, the sweet and innocent childhood days when we ate our meals without worrying about the future and cried our hearts out for love stories we hoped would come true. Years after the stress has passed, we can sit across our real partners and joke about our childhood crushes.
Suggestion: “Can you tell me one or two crushes you were head over heels in love with during your childhood?”
46. Her Purpose In Life
Without a strong purpose in life, we wouldn’t get up from our bed in the morning. What’s hers? Is it to make her parents proud, become an entrepreneur, or stand on a stage in front of millions of people? Do you have similar purposes? Can you walk alongside each other to achieve them?
Suggestion: “Do you think you’re on the right path to achieving your life purpose? How can I help?”
47. Religious & Spiritual Beliefs
Is she a religious or a spiritual person? When life hits us hard, and we are completely alone, the only thing that gives us hope can be a light of faith in God, the universe, or a supreme being. What’s her definition of this force?
Suggestion: “What’s your definition of God?”
48. Her Biggest Fears
What’s lurking in the darkest corners of her mind? Is she afraid she won’t be a mother before her parents pass away or that she will fail to make them proud? Or is it something else? Also, don’t forget to talk about literal fears, such as the fear of highs, flying, or whatever you both find frightening.
Suggestion: “What’s one thing you’d never do because of fear?”
49. Conspiracy Theories
As long as you have an Instagram account or have browsed the internet for a while, chances are that you’ve run into some crazy conspiracy theories. Such controversial theories put our critical thinking to the test. What are her thoughts on them? Is she a complete non-believer or a flat-earther?
Suggestion: “What’s the craziest conspiracy theory you can’t logically dismiss?”
50. Feeling Appreciated And Ways To Show It
Happiness in a relationship is based on equal appreciation from both sides. You should learn what makes her feel appreciated so that whenever you’re going through a rough patch, you know how to cheer her up.
Suggestion: “What can I do to express how much I appreciate you?”
51. Asking For Her Advice
We like it when people ask for our advice. It makes us feel important, appreciated, and more fond of the other person. Let her voice her opinions and ask her for advice. You’re paving the way toward a healthy relationship.
Suggestion: “I’m thinking of getting a new pair of jeans. What do you think of this pair?”
52. Views On Current Social Issues
How well-acquainted is she with the happenings around the world? What are her opinions and views on climate change, so-called “toxic masculinity”, or any other buzzing topic?
Suggestion: “What do you think about the traditional education system?”
53. Fun Hypothetical Questions
As humans, we’re gifted with a powerful imagination. So, use it to have some fun conversations with your girlfriend. Ask hypothetical questions. What would she do if she was the president of America for one day? What would she do if she was the CEO of Instagram for one day?
Suggestion: “If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?”
54. What’s Her Biggest Achievement Or Success
Find out what she’s proud to have achieved so far in life. Is it her education, reading a particular number of books, visiting several countries, or something else? What about yours? Congratulate her on her achievements no matter how small they are.
Suggestion: “What’s something you’re proud of achieving last year?”
Key Takeaways: The Best Things to Talk About with Your GF are a Balance of Deep, Thoughtful Topics and Light-Hearted, Playful Conversations.
Master the Art of Active Listening:
While the takeaway covers the importance of open-ended questions, it could do with an extra sprinkle of active listening tips. Remember, genuine interest, eye contact, and the occasional summary of her thoughts work wonders in showing your engagement.
Vulnerability (The Secret Ingredient):
Open up and embrace vulnerability with your girlfriend. Sharing personal experiences and emotions creates trust and deepens that oh-so-important emotional connection. For example, discuss the time you overcame a personal challenge or a moment that moved you emotionally.
The Perfect Balance (Meaningful and Light-Hearted Chats):
The takeaway is great but could use a gentle reminder of balancing deep conversations with fun, light-hearted banter. This magical mix keeps your relationship joyful and intimate.