17 Psychological Tips to Keep a Girl Interested

You chased a girl and now she’s yours. What comes next?

Finding out how to keep her interested, of course!

While being your awesome self might do the trick, there are other things you could do to make sure she’s not going to slip through your fingers.

Like what? You’ll find everything you need to know below!

17 Psychological Tips to Keep a Girl Interested:

1. Show her that you’re a confident guy

Pay attention to this point because it’s really important! Confidence is key in many areas of life, including your romantic life. 

If you’re a confident guy and you are aware of all your qualities, then you should have no issue in maintaining a girl’s interest.

Since you’ve already managed to make her yours, all you have to do from now on is to keep being your awesome self. 

While it’s true that at first, in order to seduce a girl, you have to push her buttons right, this doesn’t mean that you have to keep going like that. 

If you get past the initial stage with a girl and she still wants to be your girlfriend, it suggests that she likes you for you – not because you keep pushing her buttons right.

So, keep this in mind: Don’t act desperate, and don’t try too hard! You don’t have to do anything special for her unless you want to.

2. Make sure you always look presentable

Women don’t place as much value on a man’s appearance compared to the value men place on a woman’s appearance. However, this doesn’t mean that you should let yourself go. 

On the contrary, if you’ve been taking showers, grooming yourself, and wearing perfume since you met her, don’t stop now!

Maybe that was one of the things she liked most about you while you were chasing her. So, you should not take that away from her.

Don’t go from wearing neat clothes to wearing torn and stained shirts instead whenever she comes over to your place.  

If you do that, she might think that you take her for granted. She could wonder, “Why did he stop trying?”

You definitely don’t want that. That’s why it’s advisable to never make her ask herself that question.

3. Show her that you’re not a clingy guy

A clingy guy is…

… always texting and calling 

… eager to hang out all the time

… scared of his own company

… insecure and suffocating

Do you want to be that guy? I hope you don’t and I can tell you for sure that she doesn’t want you to be that guy either. 

In fact, if you’re not available all time, you have more chances to succeed in keeping her interested. This gives her a chance to miss you and also wonder what you’re up to.

This point is also related to the first one. If you’re a confident guy, then your emotional well-being shouldn’t depend on the level of attention you get from her.

4. Find ways to surprise her from time to time

Most people like surprises. We mainly like them because they’re unexpected. For some of us, it doesn’t even matter what the surprise is. 

Just the fact that we suddenly feel good because someone does something nice for us counts a lot. 

So, if you want to bring joy to her life and also maintain her interest in you, then find ways to surprise her from time to time. 

What could you do? Here are some ideas:

  • Plan a surprise picnic for both of you
  • Buy tickets to a movie she wants to see
  • Give her small gifts such as sweets
  • Show up with flowers for no reason
  • Make something for her with your own hands

5. Try to be at least a little bit mysterious

Keeping secrets or lying to her is definitely not recommended. However, being a little mysterious is!

Let me explain: 

At the beginning of any relationship, you don’t really know your girlfriend and she doesn’t know you. Getting to know each other is a process.

That’s when both of you start disclosing things about yourselves. The secret here is not to disclose everything. Pique her curiosity and don’t give her all the details at once. 

Or, for example, let’s say that you have to meet her for dinner. Text her two hours prior to your date to confirm and then end the conversation quickly, telling her something like:

“GTG do something important now. See you then.”

Her reaction? She’ll be curious to know what you’re doing. Will you tell her? Of course, you will because you’re not keeping secrets!

You could use this line and then go buy her some nice flowers, or something else to motivate your absence.

6. Keep flirting with her and give her compliments

Do you think that once a girl agrees to be your girlfriend, you should stop flirting with her? Think again!

You should never stop flirting with the woman you love or paying her compliments. Yes, she already knows that you like her and maybe that you love her.

However, reminding her that from time to time is one of the factors that will keep her interested in you. 

Therefore, don’t hesitate to tell her that she looks beautiful, especially if you think that in your head when you see her. Don’t hold back from looking deeply into her eyes and teasing her.

All these seduction games are useful and effective in long-term relationships as well.

7. Encourage her and help her improve herself

Listen, a girl won’t lose interest in you if you’re someone who encourages her and always tries to lift her mood and help her improve herself. 

If you do that, you basically become indispensable in her life. You’re the guy she turns to when she wants to talk about her ambitions or needs help to achieve them (short and long-term goals).

Or, whenever she fears failure, she’ll think of you as her go-to person, as someone who always knows what to say to give her courage.

In this regard, your opinion about how she wants to improve herself doesn’t matter. What I mean is that even if you think her chances to succeed are slim, you should still encourage her and compliment her efforts. 

Why? Because that’s what she wants and she needs your support, not your view on things. 

For example, if she wants to be a famous actress and you don’t think she will make it, don’t say that to her – just be there for her when she needs you.

8. Make her laugh and act playful with her

You know what they say: Couples who laugh together, stay together.

We already know that if you manage to make a woman laugh, you can draw her attention. In fact, cracking a joke or two is recommended in the dating stage when you want to make her like you.

But is humor just as important in long-term relationships? Research says it is!

On top of that, if you constantly make her laugh, this will increase your interest in her as well. How so?

Men absolutely love it when women laugh at their jokes. They do like to laugh as well, but a funnier woman won’t have the same effect on them.

The humor gap could be key to keeping your girlfriend interested.

9. Make authenticity one of your core values

What does it really mean to be authentic? 

Simply put, being authentic means to…

… say what you mean

… mean what you say

… stick to what you say

For example, if you tell this girl that you believe in monogamy and you want to have that kind of relationship with her, then you should act accordingly.

You shouldn’t flirt with other girls or cheat on her – not even if other girls hit on you. What you should do though is stick to your values. 

Being authentic comes with many benefits, such as:

  • You feel better when you’re being yourself
  • You feel empowered to be who you are
  • It helps you build trust with other people
  • It makes it easier for others to be loyal to you

10. Be courteous and treat her with dignity

Look, being a gentleman is not that hard, so you might as well be one. Even if times have changed a lot, a woman is still a woman and she should be treated with respect.

If you already want to do what it takes to keep her in your life, it means that you appreciate her. I assume she has also earned your respect.

So, why not treat her accordingly? Be a gentleman with her and don’t use curse words. Don’t run late on your dates either. Open doors for her and act protective of her. 

By doing so, she won’t lose interest in you because your presence in her life really makes a difference. Especially if she used to date jerks, she’ll notice that you’re nothing like them.

11. Keep things spicy in the bedroom

If you think about it, there are so many things to try sexually, that you simply can’t get bored in the bedroom. 

Especially if you have a partner to try them with, you should do just that! Even if you’re not experienced, discovering what you like and what you don’t with her should do the trick.

Instead of thinking about sex with you as a predictable action, she won’t know what to expect if you constantly try to spice up your sex life. 

Now, I’m not saying that you should come up with something new every time you go to bed with her. What I’m saying is to mix it up.

Don’t be afraid to explore her lady bits until you find all the spots that get her going. Any woman would be grateful for that.

12. Talk to her about the important stuff

Switching from small talk to deep conversations could also be the key to keeping her interested.

This works because of multiple reasons, such as:

  • Deep talks promote closeness
  • Intimate conversations increase happiness
  • They help you build trust by opening up

No idea where to start? Well, you could ask her about her goals in life, what she believes in, and what brings her joy. 

You could also touch on topics such as family, spirituality, and guilty pleasures. Or, if you have a certain curiosity about her, then ask!

However, be prepared to also share things about yourself. This could require some vulnerability from your side, so make sure you are prepared.

13. Keep working on improving yourself

This point is not only useful to keep a girl interested in you, but also to better yourself. In case you don’t have enough motivation on your own, I’m going to give you some:

According to the Novel Effect, almost anything that’s new peaks our interest. It could be a new feature in computer software or the fact that your girlfriend got a new haircut. 

This happens because when we are faced with something new or with something unusual, our brains react in an interesting way and we become curious. 

Now, in case you didn’t know, curiosity pretty much equals attractiveness – psychologically speaking. 

In other words, if you constantly come up with something new, she won’t have time to get used to all the changes. In this way, you’ll keep her involved.

14. Learn how to keep her interested in conversations

The next psychological trick that will help you keep a woman interested in you is called the Zeigarnik Effect. 

To put it into practice, what you have to do is this: Call her and start talking about something interesting. When you feel the conversation is getting more heated and she’s highly involved in it, hang up the phone. 

Make up an excuse and simply hang up. Why? Because when you interrupt such a discussion, you leave her wanting for more. 

She will feel as if you didn’t finish talking about that specific topic and she’ll be curious to get in touch again really soon to continue your conversation.

While this may not be the most honest method to keep a woman’s attention on you, it definitely works!

15. Do your best to stand out from the crowd

Why is standing out from the crowd important? 

According to the Von Restorff Effect, we tend to notice and remember things depending on their characteristics.

For example, it’s easy for us to see a red apple among 100 green apples, am I right?

Or, if we read something and some of the words are highlighted, we tend to focus on them first and remember them as well.

Also called the Isolation Effect, this psychological trick is basically about highlighting your uniqueness. 

In this regard, you can make changes to your looks, or try to greet her in a unique way. Find a special nickname for her or think about a signature goodnight text to send her every night.

If you know all her ex-boyfriends took her to the movies, do something completely different with her. 

16. Apply the push and pull technique when you flirt with her

What’s the push and pull really about?

It’s about pushing a girl away and then pulling her back. It’s a psychological technique that makes her feel all sorts of happy feelings, but not for long. 

To maintain her interest in you, you have to also act a bit cold with her. Sometimes, being a little unresponsive or acting distant makes wonders. 

If you do that, you’ll make her think that she might lose you. And when that happens, she’ll become even more interested in you.

Why? Because we all want something we think we can’t have. Such behavior changes will not pass unnoticed and believe me, she’ll be relieved when you’ll start pulling her back to you.

17. Use the HOTAPE flirting framework

What does HOTAPE stand for, you might ask. Here’s the answer:

H stands for humor, which we all know girls love. Share many laughs with her and don’t be afraid to be silly sometimes.

O stands for openness and it refers to your body language. For example, you shouldn’t cross your arms or legs. Instead, you should focus on making lots of eye contact with her and orienting your body towards her.

T comes from touch and it’s all about touching her in a non-sexual way. It’s about establishing physical intimacy with her through a gentle touch on her hand, arm, back, and so on.

A is from attention. Giving her your undivided attention will help you spark a girl’s interest in you and keep it.

P stands for proximity and it can help you figure out how interested a girl really is in you. You see, the closer she gets to you, the more she likes you.

E is short for eye contact. As you already know, the amount of eye contact you make with a woman helps her differentiate a friendly man from a flirty man.

Use this flirting framework and you’ll definitely succeed!

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

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