Here’s How to Cheer up Your Girlfriend: (Based on 5 Love Language)

Can’t stand to see your girlfriend sad or upset?

Do something about it!

As her boyfriend, there are numerous things you could do to cheer up you girlfriend. Even so, you might not know yet what works and what doesn’t.

So what can you do?

Try different ways to lighten up her mood. 

This is necessary because her love language might be different than yours. She might not respond positively to the same things as you do.

Also, if she’s an introvert, taking her to a rave and hoping that she’ll feel better is definitely not recommended. However, that could work if she’s an extrovert. 

What I’m trying to say is that all these factors contribute to your success. 

To help you out, I made a list of 15 ways to cheer up your girlfriend.

Try them all and see which one works best!

Note: If you hurt her, it’s important that you directly apologise to your girlfriend the right way , otherwise the friction between you two will only grow over time.

15 Ways to Cheer up Your Girlfriend:

1. Create a safe space for her to share her thoughts and feelings

Before you do anything to make your girlfriend feel better, what you need to do is find out what made her feel bad in the first place.

Getting her to talk about what affected her mood is not going to be easy though. It really depends on how much she trusts you. 

That’s why it’s important to create a safe space in which she can share her thoughts and feelings with you.

To do this, you should also let her know that you won’t judge her. 

You want to understand what happened to her and help her get past that. In some cases, this could mean simply listening to her vent

Yup, just listen to her when she’s talking!

Here’s what you could ask her/say to her:

  • Is something bothering you? I am here to listen. 
  • You’re different today. Did something happen?
  • How are you feeling? Want to talk about it?
  • You can tell me what’s wrong. I am here for you. 
  • Feel free to open up to me. I won’t judge you.

Regardless of what altered her mood, try to be as kind and as understanding as possible.

What if she doesn’t want to open up to you?

In case she refuses to tell you what’s going on with her, try to accept that. She might not be ready to share that part of her life with you yet. You could wait for a few hours and let her process her emotions.

Be as kind as possible and give her space if she needs it. This is just a phase and it won’t last long, so you shouldn’t blow the whole thing out of proportion.

2. Compliments her and say encouraging things to her

I said something earlier about your girlfriend’s love language. 

In case you don’t know, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 main love languages and each of us has a primary and a secondary love language.

How is that helpful?

If you know your GF’s love languages, you can reach a higher understanding of her behavior, as well as give her what she needs. 

For example, if her main love language is words of affirmation, it means that what she needs to cheer her up are kind words. 

If so, you should point out the things about her that you love. You should also tell her how much you care about her and say encouraging things to her. 

Reassure her that you’re there for her and willing to listen and help her in any way you can.

If she…

  • … failed an exam or didn’t get a job, make her feel better by highlighting positive things about her.
  • … got in a fight with her BFF, be there for her and say something comforting. 

No matter what happened, use your words and you’ll get through to her.

I would suggest you go this massive list of compliments for women to find the right things to say to cheer up your girlfriend.

3. Be affectionate with her

If your girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, then being physically affectionate with her might do the trick!

Ways to express your physical affection are:

  • Hold her hand
  • Cuddle with her
  • Give her a hug

Remember this: She needs physical contact, not sexual contact. So do your best to tune into her emotional energy.

Why does this work?

According to a research article by Michael L. M. Murphy, Denise Janicki-Deverts, and Sheldon Cohen titled ‘Receiving a hug is associated with the attenuation of negative mood that occurs on days with interpersonal conflict’, published in PLOS ONE, simply giving a hug can significantly improve your girlfriend’s mood.

This action alone helps release oxytocin (feel good hormones) in her brain, which is a chemical with amazing effects that decrease her stress levels and improve her blood pressure.  

But wait, there’s more! 

This study published on sciencedirect in biological psychology revealed that being regularly hugged by her partner makes wonders for a woman. Her mood changes for the better and her heart rate improves.

A warm hug can go a long way if she’s feeling low, so don’t underestimate the power of physical touch!

4. Buy her a thoughtful gift and surprise her with it

Another way to cheer up your girlfriend is to buy her a special gift.

Especially if she’s not expecting it, surprising her could switch her focus from a source of sadness to a source of happiness.

In this regard, you should choose something you know she likes.

Don’t buy something you like.

In addition, don’t spend too much money on it – this could give her the wrong idea.

What I mean is that she could expect something shiny and pretty from you every time she feels upset. You don’t want that.

However, if, for example, she has a sweet tooth, then you can buy her a special dessert. 

Will this work?

Buying her something nice will help change her mood if her love language is receiving gifts.

At the same time, gift-giving is effective because of various reasons, such as:

  • It helps build and reinforce relationships
  • It’s proof of love and devotion
  • It counts as symbolic communication
  • It’s meant to help others

5. Distract her attention with interesting activities

So far, I’ve mentioned 3 love languages, which are words of affirmation, receiving gifts, and physical touch.

The next one I want to talk to you about is quality time. This is all about giving your girlfriend your undivided attention to change the way she feels. 

If there are things you’ve previously heard her say that she would like to try, then make that happen!

In this way, you will distract her when she’s feeling sad and do something fun with her. 

Is your mind blank right now and you can’t think of anything?

I’ve got a few suggestions for you:

  • Go to an amusement park with her or the zoo
  • Take her shopping and then to a fancy restaurant
  • Play video games or board games together
  • Take a sexy class together such as a dancing class
  • Take her to the beach or for a hike in the mountains
  • Get her tickets to a new band’s concert
  • Plan a weekend getaway or a day trip
  • set up a double date

6. Have a Movie Night In with Her Favorite Rom-Com 🎥

You don’t always have to go out on a date night to have a fun night ☺️.

Watching movies and shows 🍿 together is a great way to spend time together.

This could be a cheesy, romantic movie, or a reality show filled with drama.

Whatever it is, watch it with her.

You don’t have to like it. Changing her mood is your purpose here, remember?

Self-sacrifice is part of any successful relationship. Sometimes, if you want to make your GF feel good, you’ll have to compromise. 

If you think about it, this activity will also give you the opportunity to hold her in your arms and cuddle with her as you’re watching a movie/tv show together.

7. Take her out in nature and enjoy a picnic together

Simply being in nature has positive effects on our health. 

Research article published on Harvard Medical suggests that only 20 minutes per day are enough to lift a person’s spirits, and make them feel calmer and more positive.

With this in mind, whenever your girlfriend’s feeling discouraged and hopeless, take her out of the house.

She might resist the idea at first because let’s face it: no one is in the mood to go and explore when they’re feeling down. 

But, if you plan something nice for the two of you such as a picnic in a nearby park, she’ll be compelled to accept your invitation and go with you. 

How so? When you notice that someone is making an effort to make you feel better, you can’t refuse them.

Before you do that though, make sure to check the weather forecast and buy enough food and drinks for the both of you. 

8. Help her manage her irrational thoughts when they occur

Is your girlfriend more difficult than most girls?

Does she go through times when her thoughts are completely irrational?

If so, a Reddit user (and a very devoted boyfriend) can tell you what to do.

According to this reddit user, if your girlfriend starts freaking out and has irrational thoughts, you need to act fast. 

Here’s what else you need to do:

  • Try to make her think about something else. Bring up a happy memory.
  • Make her focus on her breathing and take deep breaths.
  • Take her out for a walk outside the house.

However, if you’re not with her when it happens, you can always talk on the phone and calm her down.

9. Create an Instagram reel for her with photos of you two

Is your girlfriend a little sad and you want to put a smile on her face? Create an Instagram reel for her!

If you want to melt her heart and make her feel happy emotions again, then choose the cutest photos you have together.

This works in most cases because it’s a combination of gift-giving, romantic gestures, and attentiveness. 

However, this idea is not suited for times when she is going through serious difficulties. It goes without saying that in more serious situations, your effort must be appropriate.

For example, if she didn’t get into college, then this gesture won’t be enough. Or, if her pet passed away, the romance between you two can’t fill that gap.

10. Let her know that you appreciate her a lot

Want to warm her heart and put a smile on her face? Then what you need to do is tell her how much you appreciate her. 

Why does this work?

People like being appreciated because of the following reasons:

  • When someone is grateful for our presence in their lives, we feel nourished. This happens because we know that someone values us.
  • What’s more, it’s proof that someone likes us and sees us for who we really are.
  • Being appreciated gives us a sense of meaning and it connects us with the other person.

This point requires a bit of thinking. You can’t freestyle this and that’s why I’m going to help you out by asking you the following questions:

  • How does she make you feel?
  • What do you like about her?
  • Does she make a difference in your life?

Write down the answers and then tell her!

11. Do your best to put a smile on her face and make her laugh

Pay attention to this point because it always works!

Making your girlfriend smile and/or laugh has numerous psychological and physiological benefits. 

Do this and she will forget about the things that made her feel bad in the first place.

But what if you’re not a naturally funny person?

If you’re not confident in your sense of humor, you can always look up tasteful jokes and funny memes online. Or, you can even take her to a stand-up comedy show. 

Whatever you do, make sure she laughs!

Laughter cheers up your girlfriend because…

  • … her brain releases endorphins which are known to help relieve pain, as well as reduce stress
  • … the chemicals produced by her brain promote her overall sense of well-being
  • … she breathes oxygen-rich air when she laughs thus stimulating her heart, lungs, and muscles.

12. Give her time to relax and prepare dinner for her

Is your girlfriend always busy with school, work, or other important matters?

If so, you can cheer up your girlfriend after a long day if you prepare a bubble bath for her and cook dinner. 

Sometimes, a woman needs a little time to herself to rebalance her energy levels and detach herself from everything else in her life. 

After doing some self-care and enjoying a nice home-cooked meal, she will surely feel better and be grateful to you.

Especially if her love language is acts of service, her mood will instantly change when she’ll see that you did something for her – that you actually put in the effort.

So, be aware: She will not appreciate you as much if you order food instead of cooking it (especially her favorite meal) yourself.

13. Give her some time off by helping her with her chores

This point is also helpful for you – if your girlfriend’s love language is an act of service.

As I briefly said before, it refers to doing things for her to improve her mood and show affection. 

If you’re ready to do whatever it takes to lift her spirit when she’s feeling low, roll up your sleeves and prepare to do some work!

Encourage her to take some time off for herself while you help her with her chores. Clean up her apartment, do the dishes, and do the laundry.

Also, don’t forget about groceries!

Save her a trip to the store and ask her to make a list of what she needs. Trust me, she’ll feel relieved that someone is helping her with all of these!

Do it quickly and you’ll have more time to spend with her, doing other things to cheer up your girlfriend.

Take it from me, women love it when their partner do the house chores 😭.

14. Offer a relaxing and soothing full-body massage to her

To cheer up your girlfriend, you can offer her something special, such as a massage.

Sometimes, that’s all she needs to relax and feel less stressed. 

Whether it’s work, school, or family matters that make her feel stressed, a slow and thorough full-body massage should make her forget about everything else.

Buy a special massage oil and prepare to explore her body in a non-sexual way. Unless she specifically asks you to touch her intimate parts, refrain from doing so. 

15. Make a playlist with her all-time favorite songs and play it

Music is highly therapeutic as well. It can help us go through difficult situations, and it’s there for us when we want to have fun. 

It has powerful motivational capabilities for when we work out, and it can be extremely soothing during meditation. 

If your girlfriend uses music to deal with her emotions, then you could try to make a playlist for her with songs that you know usually make her feel good, or her all-time favorite songs.

Your gesture alone will make her feel at least a little joy, not to mention the music!


Now that you know various ways in which you could improve your girlfriend’s mood, what you need to do is take action!

Find out what her love language is by trying some of the solutions above and overall treat your girlfriend right. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and comes naturally to you. 

You will definitely achieve your goal if your GF sees that you put effort into making her feel better – after all, she loves you!

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

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