How To Flirt With Your Boyfriend? (12 Best Ways)

I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years and, among others, I’ve learned that one of the well-kept secrets of relationship success is flirting. 

When it comes to having a steady partner, the emphasis always falls on communication, trust, life goals, and so on, but what about the fun part?

Flirting is fun. It’s playful. It keeps the spark alive.

That’s why you should never stop flirting with your boyfriend. 

So, if you want to your man interested , do what I did and follow the tips below!

Before You Flirt Understand His Love Language

According to a 2004 study by David Dryden Henningsen, men and women are motivated by different things when they flirt.

In the case of men, they tend to view flirting as more sexual than women do. However, women are usually driven by their desire to have fun and to strengthen their relationship when they flirt.

To ensure there are no misunderstandings during your flirting interactions, the best thing you can do is identify and understand your boyfriend’s love language. 

This will help you choose a flirting style that will resonate more with him.

The 5 love languages are acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. 

To determine your boyfriend’s love language, consider how he expresses love.

Acts of Service: He does something for you to help you out or because he knows you’d like it.

Receiving Gifts: He brings you gifts and buys things for you.

Quality Time: He makes time to spend with you and doesn’t let anything distract him.

Words of Affirmation: He says nice and positive things to you to compliment or encourage you, etc.

Physical Touch: Your boyfriend likes to kiss you, cuddle with you, give you hugs, hold hands, and keep you physically close.

What’s more, a person may have 2 main love languages. 

What if your love languages don’t match? If you ask me, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re both aware of each other’s love languages, you can give each other what you need.

12 Ways Flirt With Your Boyfriend

1. Compliment Him Often Enough

If your boyfriend’s love language is words of affirmation, then complimenting him is a great way to flirt. 

He feels loved when you say nice things about his appearance, personality, and skills or talents. The same goes for when you highlight how good he makes you feel.

Complimenting your relationship has the same effect on him, just as affirming your bond.

Even if his love language is not words of affirmation, you still can’t go wrong if you verbally appreciate the way he looks once in a while or how skilled he is at picking restaurants for you to try.

The main idea here is to use compliments that have an impact on him. It’s also important to avoid overdoing it. 

For example, telling him he’s beautiful over and over again may not have the effect you’re looking for because being beautiful is not really his merit. 

Example of genuine Compliments for men:

  1. Compliment his appearance – “You look so handsome today!” or compliment something specific like his smile or eyes.
  2. Compliment his personality – “You’re so funny/thoughtful/smart.” Focus on positive personality traits.
  3. Compliment his skills/talents – “You’re so good at guitar/cooking/sports.” Compliment things he’s skilled at.
  4. Compliment how he makes you feel – “You always know how to make me smile” or “I’m so happy when I’m with you.”
  5. Compliment your relationship – “We have so much fun together” or “I love that I can be completely myself around you.” Compliment your bond.

2. Surprise Him in Multiple Ways

Another way to flirt with your boyfriend is to surprise him. Now, you can do that in multiple ways, throughout your relationship.

Your partner has unique tastes and preferences. As soon as you discover them, you’ll know how to surprise him.

In this regard, it’s essential to listen to him when he talks about some of his dreams and desires.

For example, it’s easy to surprise someone with words of affirmation as their love language by writing them a love letter and handing it to them during a romantic date.

Or, you can be more spontaneous and slide a love or sexy note in his pocket or lunch box before he goes to work. 

If you have a shared interest with your boyfriend, you can use that in your surprises as well. 

For example, if you both like video games or niche movies, you can surprise him by organizing a gaming night or a movie marathon, or by cosplaying if he’s into that.

3. Make Playful Physical Contact with Him

You can’t flirt with your boyfriend without touching him! I am referring to showing romantic physical affection, of course.

Especially if his love language is physical touch, you should focus on giving him massages, caressing him, cuddling, holding hands, kissing, hugging, and so on.

All these gestures will make him feel loved and on top of that, they have other hidden benefits!

A 2006 study by Andrew K. Gulledge, Michelle H. Gulledge, and Robert F. Stahmann shows that romantic physical affection is closely related to relationship and partner satisfaction.

In fact, romantic partners who often engage in playful physical contact resolve their conflicts a lot easier and faster compared to those who don’t.

However, it seems that holding hands and lightly caressing each other is not enough. So, always go the extra mile to make sure it’s effective!

4. Show Affection Through Words and Action

Is showing affection a way to flirt? Yes, it is!

Ultimately, when you flirt with someone, you are signaling your interest in them and your attraction to them, as well as your affection. 

Now, there are countless ways to achieve that, such as by practicing active listening and having good and constructive talks with him.

Or, by encouraging him to follow his passion and showing up for him when it matters. For example, my boyfriend does rap music and he participates in various music contests.

Since the beginning of our relationship, I have shown him I care by always attending the events he was participating in.

Showing affection may also include things like doing the dishes for him, cooking him dinner from time to time, or picking up his dry cleaning.

Small acts of kindness like these send the right message to your boyfriend and they strengthen your relationship.

Check this amazing list of cute things to say to your boyfriend 🥰

5. Buy Things For Your Boyfriend

If you still think that men are supposed to give gifts to women and not the other way around, please reconsider.

When you buy things for him, you show him that you’re not only actively trying to make him happy, but you are also ready to spend some of your hard-earned money on him.

Especially if his love language is receiving gifts, you will succeed at brightening his day whenever you give him a gift.

Flirt with him by buying him a wide range of gifts or by making something thoughtful for him in case you can’t afford anything else.

Don’t know where to start?

You can start with small things such as sweets, something small to remind him of you like a key chain, or anything else you can think of.

To give you a better idea, some of the things I bought for my boyfriend are headphones, chocolates, ice cream, a Harry Potter wand, a gamepad, t-shirts, and so on.

6. Tease Him and Be Playful

Sometimes, playing a little cat-and-mouse game benefits a romantic relationship. You can tease your boyfriend by using inside jokes or his insecurities.

Or, you can act playful and increase the sexual tension between the two of you. 

For example, you can call him a funny nickname that reminds you of a shared experience, something he is slightly embarrassed with.

You can even tease him by lightly ribbing him. I like to make fun of how my boyfriend says a certain word with the wrong accent. 

Or, if he gets offended easily and he doesn’t appreciate when you pick on his habits, then focus on being playful.

To increase excitement between the two of you, you could…

  • … dance with him or for him
  • … try some roleplaying
  • … wear sexy outfits

Teasing also means to tell your boyfriend something like… “You can look, but you can’t touch unless you do… and …” Feel free to fill in the blanks.

7. Attract His Attention in Subtle Ways

To make your boyfriend obsessed with you and attract his attention in subtle ways, you must set the scene…

It’s like in the movies when a man walks in on a woman as she rubs body lotion on her legs in an attractive position. 

She looks so natural doing that, half-naked, and she acts as if what she’s doing is not sexy at all.

Well, if you can pull that off, you’ll be a master at flirting!

Of course, there are other, easier ways to do that, such as…

  • … by putting on different outfits and asking his opinion
  • … by rubbing your neck or thighs to direct his attention
  • … by talking about your present or future tattoos

Anything that will attract his attention to your body goes here.

8. Use Your Body To Flirt with Him

Let’s move on to some juicy non-verbal flirting! Flirting using just your body language is possible. Here’s how:

Make eye contact with your boyfriend and maintain it! When you two lock eyes, you establish a connection that goes beyond words. If you want to make him think about sex, you should also raise an eyebrow.

Smile at him (and lick your lips) to show him you are interested and also to make him think about kissing you.

Your posture is also important! If you crouch, your boyfriend will never think you’re trying to get his attention. But if you sit with your back straight, pull your shoulders back, and stick your chest out, you’ll catch his eye.

Touching his arm or leg and leaning in while he’s talking is also a way to flirt with him without talking. 

Last but not least, mirroring his body language is an effective way to make him feel comfortable in your presence and attracted, too!

The occasional wink or thigh rub also makes wonders! Make sure he notices you!

9. Take Every Chance To Laugh Together

Did you know that laughter between romantic partners increases feelings of affection and support for each other?

According to a study by Laura E. Kurtz and Sara B. Algoe first published in 2015, shared laughter between romantic partners ensures overall relationship well-being.

In other words, if you and your boyfriend laugh simultaneously, you increase the quality of your relationship and promote closeness, as well as social support.

In addition to that, we also know that men feel best when they make their female partners laugh. You see, for a man, it’s less important to have a funny girlfriend and more important to make her laugh.

So, take every chance to laugh together with your boyfriend. And, if he tries to crack a joke or two, appreciate his efforts and laugh (even if his jokes are silly)./

10. Organize Romantic Dates and Activities

Is your boyfriend’s love language quality time? If it is, then make him feel loved and subtly flirt with him by organizing romantic dates and activities.

But make sure they’re exciting, please! The old dinner and movie combo is not going to take your relationship to the next level.

A 2021 study by Cheryl Harasymchuk, Deanna L. Walker, Amy Muise, and Emily A. Impett found that if you want to enhance and sustain closeness in your relationship, you should focus on planning exciting and non-routine activities.

With the idea of self-expansion in mind, try to think of dates and activities ideas that are new to your boyfriend or the both of you.

For example, instead of going to the same club, take him to a dance class. Or, instead of the old walk in the park, take him to an amusement park. Switch things up a little!

11. Bring Novelty Into The Bedroom

Flirt your way into the bedroom by dropping sexual hints to your boyfriend! 

Ask him about what turns him on and what his fantasies are. If you are not shy, slip a dirty word here and there to amplify the excitement between you two.

Or, you can use an innocent game such as Truth or Dare to spice things up in the bedroom. Prepare a list of questions for him and dare him to do naughty things to you or for you.

This game will stimulate his imagination and encourage him to express himself more freely.

12. Send Him Sexy Texts

When you and your boyfriend are apart, you can always flirt with him via text. Sexts are great also because they help build anticipation. 

If you send him a sexy text, you’ll make him think of your future intimate moment together. His thoughts only will make his heart beat faster and his desire to be with you will grow.

Even if you’re not physically there with him, you have the power to arouse him with just your words. Don’t hesitate to use it!

Here’s the list of 50 Flirty Text Messages To Put Them In The Best Mood 😈


By now you should know exactly why flirting with your boyfriend is beneficial to your relationship, as well as how to do it.

If you want to build a long-lasting and exciting relationship with him, then adapt your flirting style to his love language.

Give him what he needs and make sure you promote closeness and self-expansion with your date ideas.

Don’t be afraid to show him your feminine and sexy side by teasing him, attracting his attention subtly, and building anticipation. 

And while doing so, don’t forget to have fun! 

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

Recent Posts

Leave a Comment