How to Make Your Boyfriend Obsessed with You? *17 TIPS*

Do you want your boyfriend to have eyes for you and only you? 

One way to achieve that is to make him obsessed with you.

Whether he’s already officially your boyfriend or the sparks are flying, but you didn’t DTR yet, you can make that happen. 

I have to warn you, though: To make your boyfriend or crush want you even more and think about you all the time, you’ll have to focus on more than just your looks.

It’s little cute things that guys love the most .

Of course, your physical attractiveness does matter. However, it’s not enough to keep your man obsessed. 

What is? If you’re ready to learn how to make your boyfriend obsessed with you, read on! You’ll find all the information you need below.

Let’s jump right in!

17 Tips to Make Your Boyfriend Obsessed with You

1. Highlight the traits that make you a desirable person

If you don’t want your boyfriend or future boyfriend to follow you mindlessly only for a short while, then you have to give him reasons to feel drawn to you constantly. 

He might still be in the infatuation phase with you right now, especially if you haven’t been together/dating for long.

This means that he already has feelings for you, but the “reasons why” are still not clear to him, which is great!

This situation gives you the opportunity to highlight the traits that make you a desirable person.

Like what?

In general, a desirable person is confident and genuine. They are also kind and good listeners, and they don’t let anyone step on them.

This means that if you show him you’re a nice person who is fine in their own skin and can communicate openly and sincerely without being fake, he’ll be on his way to becoming obsessed with you.

2. Show him how much you love and value him

To make your boyfriend obsessed with you, you have to be obsessing about him a little as well.

How so?

You’ll be closer to achieving your goal if you succeed in making your boyfriend feel how much you love and value him first. 

You clearly have strong feelings for this guy. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here, reading this article.

So, why not show him how you really feel?

At this point, you have no reason to keep your feelings hidden, especially if he’s already your boyfriend or you’ve been seeing each other for a while.

By doing so, he’ll feel good in your presence and he will start to associate all these positive feelings with you.

Need some idea to make your boyfriend feel loved and valued?

… listen to him carefully when he opens up to you;

… pay him compliments and tell him sweet words;

… show him that you’re grateful for his presence in your life;

… do nice and thoughtful things for him;

… identify his insecurities and help him overcome them.

Note: I personally believe that obsessive behavior is not good for anybody involved in the relationship. Before anything else, it robs you off your own freedom which inevitably leads to insecurities and sadness. However, at the same time, it’s important to show your loved ones that you’re invested them and there for them.

3. Set healthy boundaries for the two of you

Want to know more?

Most couples fail at first because they are clueless about each other’s boundaries. Also, they think that spending all their free time together and talking day and night is good for them.

Well, I have to disagree. While going through the “honeymoon phase” – which describes the first months together with someone –  is normal and everyone goes through it, it’s impossible to keep it that way. 

In this regard, setting healthy boundaries for the two of you is the answer to keep things going in your relationship. Giving each other space and respecting each other’s schedule and so on are important aspects of a successful relationship.

However, they are also essential when trying to make someone obsessed with you.

Just think about it: if you tell him something like “No more texting after 10 PM,” he’ll want to text you even more and thus obsessively think about you.

4. Show him that you support his ambitions

Men need another thing to become strongly attached to a woman and that’s support. As you already know, having someone by your side to support you is a must. 

Life is hard as it is, not to mention when you don’t have a trusting person to support you. So, be that person for him!

Support his dreams even if they sound silly. Help him with whatever you can even if you think he will not succeed.

Believe in him and cheer him and your boyfriend will become obsessed with you.

Let me give you a personal example:

My boyfriend for 5 years is a hip-hop artist and he’s been working on an album for years now.

He always had back luck and took 3 steps back for every step further.

I’ve seen his disappointment and I didn’t like it. But I realized that it is his ambition and he’ll keep trying to make it happen no matter where I stand.

So, why not stand by his side?

5. Reveal your vulnerable side to him

Just to be sure we’re on the same page, revealing your vulnerable side to a man doesn’t mean getting overly dramatic and crying in front of him without a good reason. 

It simply means to show him the real you, without being afraid to express your feelings about anything. 

You don’t have to put on the “tough girl” mask with him. On the contrary, he wants you to take a leap of faith and show yourself to him.

When you show your boyfriend your vulnerable side, he’ll get more than one message.

He’ll understand that you trust him enough to tell him that and that you care for him enough to share your thoughts or feelings with him. 

6. Be a little mysterious and keep him in suspense

Think about this for a second: Where would we be in terms of progress, be it in the medical field or physics, if we weren’t curious by nature?

That’s the thing: Humans – men and women – are all curious. We have this innate drive to search and find the answers we’re looking for. 

And it’s the very same drive that will make your boyfriend obsessed with you.

For example, if you don’t tell him what you’re going to do for the rest of the evening after going on a date with him, he’ll wonder.

Or, if you don’t talk about how you feel all the time, he’ll wonder. The point is that whatever you’re not saying to him, he wants to know.

Even so, don’t get the wrong idea. Hiding things from him on purpose is not the way to go here. Sharing important information is a must. The details? Not so much.

7. Stay by his side when things get tough for him

As mentioned before, you need more than one hot body and an attractive look to get your boyfriend hooked on you and keep him that way. 

One example of something more that you’ll need to do to achieve your goal is to be there for him when he needs you. 

This doesn’t mean that you should wait for him to tell you that he needs you. No, you’ll have to pay attention to him and figure out when things get tough for him, why, and what you can do about it.

In case he already opens up to you about his life, it will be easier to you to take action. If he’s not, don’t worry! He will, as soon as you start trying these steps!

8. Use the sexual overperception bias in your favor

In short, based on journal of research in personality, the sexual overperception bias refers to the fact that both men and women can be wrong when they think their partners are in the mood for sex. 

In fact, they are wrong most of the time when they assume their partners want to get intimate, as well as when they don’t want to get intimate.

How can this help you?

Being aware of this common misinterpretation gives you the opportunity to use it in your favor. 

To keep your man obessed with you, you can give him the impression that you always desire him sexually. You can paint a picture in his head where he always sees you as a highly erotic woman.

Even if you’re not in the mood to jump on him every time you see him, you’ll make him feel that you are and that’s going to run through his mind over and over again.

It really is a powerful move to make a man fall head over heels for you and make him want you more 😘.

9. Assert an equal role in your relationship

Are you the type of girl who always expects him to pay for dinner/drinks and buy you presents?

Do you think he has to drop everything and help you when you need him but not the other way around?

If you do, then you might not be able to get him hooked on you. I’m sorry to tell you that such a mentality is no longer embraced by many men.

More and more men want equal partners in their lives. They don’t want a woman without initiative or one that lets them pull all the strings. 

A confident woman with strong values and opinions is the type that gets men smitten.

So, what should you do?

Make plans for the two of you, do something to help him, and rely on yourself as much as he relies on himself.

10. Follow your principles and beliefs

So how else do you make your boyfriend obsessed with you? 

Show him that you’re a person with clear principles to follow in life, as well as beliefs to help you along the way. 

Also, show him that you don’t blindly believe in something. In case he comes up with serious arguments against something, take them into consideration. 

Being stubborn is definitely not going to help you win him over for good. The same goes for not expressing what you think, always agreeing with him, and so on.

The main idea here is to show him that you can think for yourself. You have a mind of your own and you’re using it.

11. Show him you’re passionate about what you do

To make your boyfriend obsessed with you, let him discover how passionate you are about your own interests. Let him see you excited and hear you talk about what makes you tick. 

Seeing this side of you will fascinate him. So, the next time you see him, don’t hesitate to demonstrate your skills or talk about your own interests. 

Find something you’re uniquely good at or know many things about and share that with him.

He’ll love to see that glow in your eyes and he’ll be looking forward to seeing it again in the future.

Sing for him, dance for him, cook for him, do anything for him you’re also passionate about and he’ll be yours.

12. Let him know you’re self-reliant & independent

Because men are used to being the protective ones and the providers, you’ll surprise any of them if you demonstrate your ability to be self-reliant. 

What does that really mean?

A woman who only relies on herself in every aspect of her life is not only desirable; she’s also mysterious because guys don’t know how she does it. 

Overall, if you make him feel like you don’t need him, he’ll try to find something to offer you. Meanwhile, he’ll obsess about that. He’ll think about you a lot and that’s exactly what you want. 

The next time you feel like calling him and asking for his help with something although you can take care of that by yourself, don’t! 

Do mention it to him, though! You can casually tell him how you solved your own problems when you meet up – he’ll be impressed.

13. Practice mindful availability with him

I am sure you already know what being mindful means and what it entails. But, just to be sure, it means to be conscious of something or aware of something.

With this in mind, mindful availability refers to picking a time or multiple times per day when you only focus on texting him, talking to him on the phone, or seeing him.

In this way, you won’t let any distractions get between the two of you. You’ll be able to fully focus on him and get the most out of the time you spend together.

So, the next time he texts you, don’t reply right away. Wait for those moments when you can give him the right answer – one that’s meaningful, thoughtful, and not sent in a rush.

On top of that, there’s a spiritual side to mindful availability and it’s about welcoming him (or other people) into a loving space where he feels safe and finds compassion.

14. Talk to him about your hopes and ambitions

So far, you’ve learned that men like independent women with strong principles and beliefs that are also passionate about something.

But, there’s more!

If you also talk to him about your hopes and ambitions, he’ll find you highly interesting and fascinating.

One can easily obsess over someone who aspires to a better future and wants to do something to make a difference. These people are inspiriting and motivating, especially if they do it for all the right reasons.

So, don’t hesitate to talk to him about your personal, professional, and spiritual hopes and ambitions. 

15. Pick a tasteful clothing style that represents you

Let me ask you this: Would you like your boyfriend to be sexually obsessed with you or generally obsessed with you?

I’m asking you this because, in your attempt to get him hooked on you, you might have picked sexy outfits that revealed a lot of skin. 

Maybe you’re still wearing highly revealing clothes to drive him crazy.

However, I have to honestly tell you that slutty-looking girls and not considered girlfriend material (There, I said it!). 

I’m not saying you have to dress like a nun either. What I’m suggesting is to pick a style that represents you and is also tasteful.

To get a man’s full attention you don’t have to show a lot of skin. Making him wonder what you’re hiding under your clothes also works.

16. Make an effort to click with his friends

Does your boyfriend have a group of close friends?

If he does, then you’ll have to focus on them as well.

Let me explain:

A man’s friends matter to him because of many reasons. Their opinion also matters, so if you make a good impression and make them like you, your boyfriend is going to be very pleased!

He’s going to love to see you fit into his world, which will give him another reason to obsess over you. As soon as that happens, he’ll also start thinking about having you in his life long-term.

Even if you don’t have too many things in common with his friends, you still have to do your best to get along with them. Try to get to know them better and laugh at their jokes.

17. Cook him his favorite meal

Does it ring any bells when I say, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

I’m sure you’ve heard it at least once.

Not only research and studies have confirmed this old-age saying, but they have also found the reason behind it.

“Foods often bring back nostalgic experiences such as eating with family or friends, trying new cuisines for the first time, going on a first date or being on holiday or in a different city”

So, if you can cook, then always spend time cooking him his favorite meals. No, you don’t have to it every day but once a week on in a month would do the job.

It will make him feel appreciated and feel valued seeing his “baby” being so carin.


By now you should have a pretty good idea about how to make your boyfriend or future boyfriend obsessed with you. Each step is important, so make sure you try them all. Do this and you’ll soon notice the difference. He’ll change his behavior in the nicest ways and act like you’re the only woman for him. Be persistent, though! Change doesn’t happen overnight.

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

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