How to Ask Your Crush Out Without Getting Rejected

Asking out your crush is no rocket science.

…..You can simply approach them and pop the question. 

But, it can be nerve wracking, so I encourage you to put more effort into it.

Otherwise, you’ll get an answer based on a first impression only. 

That could be to your disadvantage, so why not do it right? 

I’ll be completely honest with you: This article doesn’t provide 5-minute solution to asking out your crush successfully.

Rather, It spreads over 4 parts and it covers everything you need to know to ask your crush out successfully. 

Do you want your invitation to wow them? If you do, read on!

How to Ask Your Crush Out Without Getting Rejected?

Part 1: Get to know your crush before you ask them out

At this point, you might not know much about this person except that you like something about them.

Maybe you think they’re cute or maybe they have a skill that always manages to impress you.

Either way, things go better when you show a genuine interest. In addition to that, discovering that you and your love interest have things in common before you ask them out can significantly improve your chances with them.

So, do your homework and then approach them about it.

Let me explain:

1.1. Use their social media profiles to gather clues

Nowadays, it’s really easy to find out more details about a person’s likes and dislikes thanks to social media. 

Whether they use Facebook, Instagram, or another social media platform, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the info you have access to. 

In this regard, make sure to connect with them online if you haven’t already. 

Next, if you look closely, you can discover more about where they like to hang out and the places they visited. 

You can also look through their photos and get a better grasp of what activities they like to do and with whom.

You’ll find details about their favorite music genre and other similar topics, as well as their relationship status.

1.2. Talk to them about their hobbies and passions

While you figure out how to ask your crush out, you should still interact with them and create a deeper bond with them. 

One of the ways to do that is to discuss hobbies and passions with your crush . Considering you know a little something about what they like, you can use that info as a conversation starter.

For example, if they like horseback riding, you could say something along the lines of “I noticed you sometimes go horseback riding. Where does your passion for horses come from? ”

Or, “I see you’re an artsy person. When did you discover your calling?”

In general, you should focus on asking meaningful questions to express your interest in this person.

Showing genuine interest will make your crush like you and increase your chances of being successful.

Part 2: Learn more about their comfort level and preferences

Your crush is different than other people, right? They caught your eye for a reason, one that you can’t see in other people. 

If that’s true, then don’t expect him or her to have the same social style as you do. They probably won’t. So, you’ll have to adapt to theirs. 

By doing so, you can’t go wrong with your approach. You can simply observe what makes them react positively and what doesn’t. 

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In addition, this will give you the opportunity to come up with the perfect timing and location to ask them out.

2.1. Observe your crush to see what they’re comfortable with

Maybe you’re a touchy-feely person and your crush isn’t. 

Maybe you are comfortable with saying hi out loud across the hallway but they aren’t.

Perhaps they don’t like it when you interrupt their conversations with other people. 

There are numerous variables in this regard. That’s why it’s strongly recommended to observe how your love interest reacts to your gestures.

For example, if they awkwardly raise their hand when you loudly salute them across the hallway, that’s a bad sign. It means they’re uncomfortable.

Watching how they react to other people is also interesting.

For example, if your crush is a girl and she hugs most guys, then you can go ahead and hug her, too. She’s comfortable with that.

Your crush has boundaries. The sooner you figure out what they are, the better.

2.2. Discover the places where they like to hang out the most

The setting in which you decide to pop the, “Do you want to go out with me?” question, should be familiar and comfortable to your crush. 

If they’re someplace where they usually hang out or they go because it lifts their mood, then it’s perfect for what you have in mind. They’ll be relaxed and open to you.

As a result of your research, you should know where your love interest likes to spend time when they’re not at school or work. 

They could be going to a cafe or take long walks in the park. Whatever the case, discovering this about them will take you one step closer to achieving your goal.

2.3. Pick the perfect time and place for asking out your crush

Your anxiety might be off the charts right now. Maybe all you want is to just ask them already and remove this stressful thought from your mind. 

While I understand where you’re coming from, that wouldn’t be wise. To increase your chances of getting a positive answer, it’s important to pick the perfect time and place to ask them out. 

By all means, avoid crowded and noisy places, times when they hang out with their friends, or when they are obviously upset about something. 

Choose a time and a place when and where they are relaxed and open to talking to you and doing things with you.

Part 3: Drop Some Hints Before you ask your crush out

To prep the ground even more, before you decide on a certain way to ask them out, you could drop hints about your feelings.

To show someone you’re interested, here are some examples of what you could do:

  • If you don’t know them in person, approach them by introducing yourself and having a casual conversation with them. This gesture alone shows interest.
  • If you two have friends in common, ask one of them to tell your crush you think they’re cute or something similar;
  • If you’re at a party and you see them dancing, join them! Use your body to convey a message: you like them and you think they’re attractive. 

3.1. Organize a romantic scavenger hunt

Do you think that simply asking the question is too boring and unimpressive?

No problem!

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You can try a romantic scavenger hunt instead. The anticipation will make them bite their nails!

How does that work?

The main idea of this game is to plant a number of clues across the city or school/workplace that will lead your crush to the final treasure: your invitation to go on a date.

If you know them well, you can hide the clues in places that mean something to the two of you. If you don’t know them well, then use popular spots. Make it sweet and simple! 

Also, give them a few options to tell you the answer. Encourage them to call you or text you as soon as they finish the hunt. Or, you could join them on the hunt!

3.2. Opt for a surprise delivery

Another creative way to invite your crush out on a date is to send them a surprise delivery. What would you send?

If your love interest is a girl, then you can opt for flowers, chocolates, cute stuffed animals, heart-shaped balloons, and so on. Don’t forget to add a note with your question!

In case you’re crushing on a guy, you can’t go wrong with something sweet either. Something cute such as a key chain or a sticker could work, depending on his tastes. A handwritten note would be nice as well.

Remember to leave clear instructions on how they should respond.

3.3. Craft a personalized invitation for them

When it comes to crafting a personalized invitation for your crush, you have a lot of options, as follows:

  • Make a video asking him or her to go on a date
  • Make a personalized T-shirt with the question on it
  • Decorate a cookie or cake with your question
  • Write your invitation and put it inside a fortune cookie
  • Create a playlist that leads to a hidden question

3.4. Send them an anonymous note

If revealing your identity from the beginning puts too much pressure on you, then you can choose to send them an anonymous note. 

By doing so, you can test their availability to go out with someone in general, however, their decision will not be based on who asked the question.

But, if you feel that a positive response will make you feel more confident to reveal your identity, then you should go for it. 

This creative idea works best if your crush is someone who likes mystery a lot. If they’re intrigued by it, you can give it a try!

Part 4: Express your feelings to your crush the right way

4.1. Visualize the success of your invitation

While it’s true that you shouldn’t expect things to unfold in a certain way when you pop the question, visualizing your success can be beneficial.

First of all, it will give you the much-needed confidence. Also, by visualizing it, the risk of freezing or getting lost in the conversation lowers.

Chances are you’ll act more composed and relaxed IRL if you visualize yourself getting what you want.

Make sure you work on your body language, prepare your pep talk, dress up to look and feel confident. It will be a good practice before you ask your crush out.

4.2. Asking out your crush directly

For some people, the best approach is to ask their love interest to go on a first date directly. I prefer this style as well because it shows I’m bold and I know what I want.

It also shows that I am confident and ready for rejection.

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When asking out your crush directly make sure you maintain eye contact even if you’re nervous. If your own thoughts are going all over the place, just take a long breath to calm down your system.

With this in mind, here are a few suggestions:

  • “I’d love to talk more. Let’s do this over drinks sometime.”
  • “What’s your favorite food? Let’s grab a bite sometime!”
  • “What’s your favorite coffee shop? Let’s visit there together and have fun time!”
  • “I’ve got tickets to the new Marvel movie. Would you like to be my plus one?”
  • “I am so impressed by your gym routine. Let’s talk about it over dinner.”
  • “There’s a couple’s party this weekend. Would you like to be my date?”

4.3. Asking out your crush out in indirect ways

As I briefly mentioned at the beginning of this part, you can ask someone out without being direct. 

Apart from the above suggestions, I want to add a few that only work if you don’t know them at all:

  • Write them a note with your name and number to express your interest
  • Go from one question to the other and finally ask if they’re single. If they say yes, then wait no longer and say something like, “I’d like to spend time with you sometime.”

4.4. Pay attention to what and how they respond

I know all you want to hear is “YES.” However, your crush may respond in various ways. That’s why it’s important to actively listen to them and ask follow-up questions if something is unclear.

You see, they might hesitate to say yes or no because maybe you take them by surprise, they are hooked up on someone else, or dating is not among their priorities.

Your purpose here is to make things as clear as possible.

How Do I Respond to My Crush Saying yes/no/maybe?

Yes: Congratulations! Your efforts paid off and now your crush accepted your invitation to go on a date. At this point, you should have a few first date ideas prepared. 

You must come up with more options to make sure that they have what to choose from. Of course, this doesn’t apply if you invite them to a movie. 

No: Too bad! Your love interest has his or her own reasons for rejecting you. Keep your chin up and respond with a smile by saying “No problem!”


  • “Is there something I can do to help you make a decision?”
  • ”Is there something in particular that’s keeping you from giving me an answer?”
  • ”Should I check in tomorrow for your final answer?”

Navigating Forward (Summary)

Are you now ready to ask your crush out? If you’ve done research about them, observed their boundaries, and connected to them on a deeper level, find them the right person for you then you should be ready to pop the question.

Take care of the last details by deciding on a direct approach or on an indirect approach. In this regard, there are many creative ideas you can choose from.

Last but not least, prepare yourself for every possible outcome when you confess your love to your crush. Chances are they’ll say YES, but you should have a backup plan in case they say NO.

Once you’re out on a date with your crush, you can try one of these methods to Tell Your Crush You Like Them.

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

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