Have you fallen for someone in your school or workplace? Then you must feel lucky. That’s one of the most beautiful feelings in the world.
You’ve probably wondered or even better, planned to talk to them at some point. Or maybe you don’t know whether you’re ready.
You’re going to experience a heavy load of emotions, but it’s all okay.
We all go through the same motions when talking to someone we like.
Anxiety leaves us speechless and it feels like we forgot how to talk for a moment. However, remember that there’s always a way out.
In this article, we’ll discuss how you can talk to your crush without the risk of leaving a bad impression.
It all comes down to learning how to communicate effectively and approach them properly.
How to Talk to Your Crush Without Being Boring?
There are four steps you should keep in mind while talking to your crush, and we’ll discuss them one by one and provide tips for each.
From learning how to prepare yourself for the first approach to knowing how to handle rejection as the worst-case scenario, we’ll cover it all.
Step 1: Preparing Yourself Before You Approach Them
Start by preparing yourself mentally for their reaction when you approach them for the first time.
This way nervousness has less chance of crippling you when you greet them and aim to start a conversation.
Here are three tips to help you prepare yourself:
1. Build Up Self-Confidence And A Positive Mindset
Before you talk to your crush, it’s essential that you work on yourself.
Self-confidence helps you put forward the best version of yourself so you can slowly win the heart of your crush.
Not all of us have high self-confidence. Being exposed daily to videos of people who’ve achieved tremendous success makes us doubt our value.
But what you’ve achieved has nothing to do with being a valuable person. Each of us is unique. We should be confident about the potential we possess.
Here are some practices you should embrace for more self-confidence:
- Envision the best possible scenarios in your mind.
- Focus on your unique qualities, talents, and strengths.
- Speak to yourself positively and use empowering affirmations.
- Keep some conversation topics in the back of your mind to avoid letting conversations drift into awkward silence.
How to make a list of appropriate topics? We’ll get into that right now.
2. Pay Attention To Their Interests & Find Common Ground
Selecting interesting topics depends on what they like talking about. How can you know what they like talking about?
Before you talk to your crush, it will help you a lot if you find subjects they might be interested in.
Well, you have to discover your crush’s interests, and then find a possible shared interest that connects you with each other.
For example, if they like graphic designing, and you like writing, there are many points in which these interests intersect.
They’re both creative skills, and you can talk about creativity all day long.
Besides knowing their interests, make sure to understand their favorite communication style.
Do they assert their own needs, knowing well what they want, or do they prioritize others’ needs and hide their own?
Knowing more about this aspect of their personality makes communication far easier.
There are fewer chances you’ll misunderstand their jokes and will know how to support them when they don’t know how to ask for it.
3. Gather Information About Your Crush
Thanks to the internet, you can learn a lot about another person without saying a word to them.
So don’t forget to leverage this for your own benefit.
The more you know about your crush, the easier it is to think of conversation topics and find out whether your personalities match.
With social media at the front of the arsenal of your information-gathering tools, it becomes easier to know them at a deeper level. So:
- Ask mutual friends for advice and insights
- Learn all you can about your crush from social media
- Avoid liking and commenting on all their posts or you’ll look like a stalker
Avoid paying much attention to gossip and don’t count on it as entire conversation material, or you might ruin your first chat with them.
Step 2: Approaching Your Crush For Conversation
Now that you’re well-prepared to have a good and meaningful conversation, it’s time for the next step- talking to your crush.
4. Wait For The Right Time To Come Before You Reach Out
Timing is everything they say, and not without a reason. That’s why you should wait for the ideal time to make your step.
And not only timing but also the environment is important. That’s why you should ideally approach to talk to your crush when all these factors are in place:
- They’re in a comfortable and quiet environment
- They’re free to talk and aren’t pursuing any activity
Don’t interrupt them when they’re in the middle of doing something important with the hope that you’re going to talk for hours together.
If they’re in the middle of their activities or in their personal space, you’ll come off as an intruder and leave a bad first impression on them.
If you want to talk to your crush and leave a mark then you’ve to pick the right time and place to impress them.
5. Start By Simply Texting Them “Hi, How Are You?”
Many love stories start on social media. Yours can be one of them.
So don’t put on hold such opportunities. Hit that follow or message button and send them a DM to talk to your crush.
This is the easiest way to start building a connection. You’d be surprised at how much emotional chemistry can happen by chatting online.
Especially if you’re an introvert who’s left at a loss for words when you’re in front of almost anyone, let alone their crush.
Approaching them online and engaging on social media makes conversations easier. They’re not in front of you to make you anxious.
For step-by-step guide, read how to text your crush without being boring.
6. Get Into The Conversation And Break The Ice
Breaking the ice sounds like something you wouldn’t want to do because it makes you overwhelmed.
Well, the truth is that it isn’t that hard to do so.
All you have to do is combine all the steps we’ve mentioned so far and step forward with a smile on your face.
How bad could it go?
It’s enough for you to provide “directions” for the conversation for it to take place. You don’t have to dominate it, but just nudge it as a start.
But keep in mind that your approach matters. You should aim not to get friend-zoned, or sound like a stalker.
Avoid bringing up their social media feeds and what they’ve posted online as it makes you look exactly like that. Aim to leave a good first impression.
To do this, you need to subtly give compliments.
Someone who pays you compliments often might be interested in being more than just a friend to you. So you want to create that impression.
You can compliment them about their outfit, their talents, or personality traits that stand out. By doing so you’ll surely get their attention.
Here are some cute things to say to your crush:
- “Hey! I couldn’t help but notice your sense of style… you have great fashion taste.”
- “I appreciate your honesty. Not many people dare to speak their mind like you.”
- “I couldn’t help but be drawn to your presence. Your charisma and charm are undeniable.”
Compliments can serve well as conversation starters too.
Just keep them short and simple, and if nothing comes to your mind, break the ice by asking for help with a direction, or a phone number.
Also, avoid cheesy pick up lines.
7. Put Your Sense Of Humor Into Action And Create A Light-Hearted Atmosphere
Humor is undeniably important when you approach anyone not just your crush. We instinctively like to stay around the people who make us happy.
Funny people are charming. Who wouldn’t want to be around them?
A sense of humor isn’t only something that helps crack a few jokes but it also makes you appear more attractive.
Humor makes you attractive.
It also comes in handy when dealing with negative situations. If you’re discussing a negative situation or witnessing an awkward scenario, using humor you can create a good impression on your crush.
An example would be: the waiter spills drinks on your clothes. Instead of berating him, you throw a joke and go to clean it in the bathroom.
This way your crush will think you’re a positive person who knows how to handle conflicts and awkward situations.
Even in other scenarios, humor serves well to create a warm atmosphere they’ll feel invited to share more about themselves and connect with you.
So it’s time to refreshen your puns, watch some more comedy shows, and maybe sip a shot to get in the right mood.
So, the great way to talk to your your crush is being funny. And, if you’re texting to talk to your crush then you can send funny meme, funny picture, e.t.c
Step 3: Maintaining a Good Conversation With Your Crush
After the ice is broken, and “turns to water”, you should navigate the conversation with boldness to get your crush talking more.
These moments will decide if they want to get to know you more or not.
So keep the conversation with your crush interesting and keep these in mind for smooth conversation:
8. Listen Actively To What They Are Saying
What are they saying?
Listen carefully. Don’t just say “Yes” aimlessly, waiting for your turn to speak. People want to feel heard. That’s a type of affection that bonds us.
How to be an active listener? Here are some tips:
- Keep eye contact throughout the conversation
- Use non-verbal communication signs such as nodding, making facial expressions, or moving your arms.
- Use verbal cues such as “I see”, “Wow, really!”, “Tell me more!” to encourage them to continue talking.
This behavior will help you to motivate them to share more about their life, and you’ll feel so connected with each other after it.
9. Show That You Are Curious To Know Them By Asking Follow-Up Questions
How to understand if someone is interested in what we’re saying?
Well, that would reflect on frequent back-and-forth questions with them.
So asking questions shows you’re interested.
Your crush wants to feel the same way. So ask follow-up questions to make it easier for them to want to talk with you more.
Follow-up questions are great to reveal your curiosity and show them how interested you are.
However, avoid difficult questions, or frequent ones. You don’t want to turn this into an interrogation because you’ll risk overwhelming them.
Alternatively, you can ask these questions to your crush:
- Who is your favorite music artist?
- What are your favorite childhood memories?
- What’s your favorite music bands?
- What’s your favorite food?
10. Genuinely Share About Yourself (Avoid Bragging And Falsehoods)
Empathy and vulnerability help us connect with others.
When you shift the conversation from asking questions and listening to sharing your views and related experiences, then you’re revealing yourself.
Which is something you’d want to start doing as soon as you can.
Because once they get a glimpse of your personality and how it resonates with theirs, things become much easier.
You can connect with them on a deeper level. But it’s important to be relatable and display those traits of your personality that match with theirs.
11. Don’t Involve Any Sensitive Or Controversial Topics
No matter if it’s your crush or a person you’d want to have good relations with, there are some topics you should avoid bringing up.
- Political views
- …and personal insecurities
Unless they start these conversations first, stay reserved and avoid them.
Politics and religion can lead to controversial debates or turn-offs for them.
We’ve all got different viewpoints based on personal beliefs which can harm a good conversation.
So stick to other topics, keep the conversation positive, and respect their boundaries. But, if you’re that kinda person, then you can test the water with current events.
Step 4: Accepting The Outcome
Interactions often don’t pan out the way we plan them in our heads. No matter how interested you might be in the other person, they might not be.
Rejection is normal, but you shouldn’t take it as a personal attack. It’s one of the best ways to rather motivate yourself to strive to become better.
12. Accept The Outcome Gracefully, Thanking Your Crush For Their Honesty
Sometimes your crush can be straight up on your first conversation about the fate of you being a match together.
Other times, it can take some time before they’re direct about the way they feel in your presence. Maybe they’ll friendzone you or back you away.
It’s also normal for them to ghost you. Don’t be upset. There’s nothing wrong with you, as long as you did your best.
Instead, thank them for their honesty and move on. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. This one wasn’t meant for you, and a better one is waiting out there.
13. Learn From The Experience
Rejections teach us a lot. Whether it’s a situation in our personal lives or a career failure, rejections and failures teach us our improvement points.
Use rejection (if it happens) as an opportunity to learn how to become the best version of yourself.
- Think back to the conversation and recall areas you might need to improve yourself into.
- Use rejection as a push to embark on a journey of personal growth by becoming more fit, smart, and capable.
Crushes are like job opportunities.
We might get rejected by the ones we think are ideal for us, but then when we get a better role, we feel grateful that things turned out the way they did.
As long as you follow the process we described above by preparing yourself, approaching your crush suitably, and maintaining a good conversation with your crush, you’ve done enough on your part.
Now, it’s their turn to respond.
Whether you get rejected or not, you should be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone to approach them. Take this as an exercise to show your authentic self. Try your best and leave to luck the rest.