Texting your crush doesn’t have to be a nerve-wracking puzzle.
In fact, it can be quite simple and enjoyable if you approach it the right way. This guide, although written from a guy’s perspective, applies to anyone looking to keep their crush engaged in a text conversation.
Firstly, don’t overthink it. Just send that text!
A casual “Hey, what’s up?” is a great conversation starter.
The longer you hesitate, the higher the chances of landing in the friend zone.
Once the conversation starts, build on it based on her responses.
If she shares details about her day, find common ground and expand the conversation. If her responses are vague, it might be a sign your crush is not interested or not in the mood to chat.
Lastly, don’t overanalyze every text.
Focus on the ‘energy’ of the meaningful conversation. If she’s taking too long to respond or her responses are dry, she might not be interested.
Remember, it’s not a game of chess, but a natural interaction.
So, relax, be genuine, and let the conversation flow.
How to Text Your Crush Without Being Boring?
1. Match Their Energy
If she’s texting with lots of energy – she’s using exclamation marks, emojis and GIFs, and she’s texting quickly – you need to match her energy.
This is super important for getting into rapport with her. If she feels that the two of you are on the same level when you’re texting, it will make her want to text more.
If, on the other hand, she’s super high-energy and you’re super low-energy (you’re slow to respond and your texts are dull without any exclamation marks, emojis or GIFs), she’ll soon get bored of you.
2. Ask Open Ended Questions
An open-ended question is one that requires something more than a Yes or No answer.
For example, “how was your day?” is an open-ended question (although you can do better than that).
Open-ended questions are important for making your crush interested in the conversation because they require her to think a bit more.
They can also open up the conversation some more (for example, you can reply to her answers with something interesting of your own and fire the convo in a new direction).
Here are 5 examples of fun open-ended interesting questions to ask over text:
- What are some fun facts about yourself?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in public?
- Who inspires you on a daily basis?
- If there’s something you’d change about yourself, what is it?
- If you could live anywhere else right now, where would you live?
Here’s the complete list of questions you can ask your crush.
3. Be Genuine and Show Interest in their Interests
A girl is way more likely to keep talking to a guy if he expresses interest in her interests. This means asking interesting questions about them and saying things like “wow, that sounds really cool. Tell me more.”
If she’s done something related to her interests during the day, you could ask her later that night how things went. By showing that you support her interests, you’re showing that you care about her and what to get to know her more.
You’re also not boring by keeping the focus on your interests all the time (which is a major turn-off).
Your interest must be genuine, though. When she replies to your texts about her interests, you need to follow up and keep the conversation flowing, rather than immediately moving on to a new topic.
Don’t end things abruptly by saying something like “oh, that’s cool. Anyway, let’s talk about …”
You could also say that you’ve done some research into her passions and that you’re even starting to get a little bit interested in them, too. Only do this, however, if you’ve actually done your research!
4. Use Humour and Light Heartedness in your Texts
If you’re funny, you’re not boring. That’s a rule!
If you want text your crush without being boring, you will need to use humour.
While being funny doesn’t automatically mean a girl will like you loads, it does at least mean that she’s going to want to keep talking to you.
If you’re naturally funny, this won’t be an issue for you because your humor will come across in the way you text. But some guys find it hard to be funny when texting and this can make them appear too serious.
The trick is to first of all be prepared to poke fun at yourself. Make sure to use emojis (the laughing emoji helps a lot) and share memes. You can also share funny stories/anecdotes about the things that happened to you.
This alone won’t save you, though. You need to make actual jokes that keep her entertained. Here are some tips:
Tell a joke! Make sure it’s a short one (long ones just take too long to read).
Create inside jokes. For example, you two could create funny nicknames for the people you both know.
Ask silly questions and give very silly answers. For example, if you’re talking about celebrity crushes, say the opposite of what you’d normally say.
Role play. Set up an amusing scenario – such as the two of you are stranded in a foreign countryside – and make it hilarious.
Send memes. If all else fails, send the funniest memes you’ve seen.
Alternatively, here’s the list of Cute Things to Say to Your Crush.
5. Share Interesting Stories and Experiences With Your Crush
We’ve all got interesting stories and experiences – so why not share them with your crush?
There are two things at play here:
Any story or experience you share must be interesting. If it isn’t remotely interesting, do not share it.
The way you tell the story has to captivate her interest.
If you’re thinking “I’m not the best at telling stories,” here are some tips on how to structure your stories to text your crush without being boring:
- Start with “once upon a time.” Don’t use this opener all the time but it’s a fun way of catching her interest right away.
- Send your story in separate texts consisting of 2-3 lines. In other words, do not send a wall of text (who’s got time to sit there and read through it?).
- End as many segments of your story as you can with a hook that leaves her wanting more. Such as, “and then …” or “then guess what happened …” before sending the next text.
- Omit anything that isn’t really relevant to the story. Stick to the interesting bits and remove all fluff.
- Work from the beginning, go to the middle and finish at the end. It’s a cliché but it’ll make your stories more interesting if you work with the correct structure.
- Engage her by involving her in the story. For example, write things like “pretty crazy, huh?” or “bet you wish I’d never told you this now!”
6. Send Interesting Updates
Your crush wants to hear about how your life is going. She wants to experience “your world” and feel a part of it.
The thing is, she doesn’t need to hear everything. She doesn’t need to be bored by what you ate for breakfast or how you went to the grocery store for groceries.
Instead, you need to keep her engaged by sending her interesting updates.
What could these look like?
If something funny happened to you today, tell her.
Applied for a job? Let her know.
Booked tickets to see a really amazing show? She’ll want to hear all about it.
Thinking of planning your next trip? Share the details with her!
If it’s interesting to you, it might be interesting to her. Find out by sharing your updates with her!
7. Flirt a Little
It’s natural that you will flirt with your crush (otherwise, are they even a crush?).
Moreover, you can flirt with her via text.
We don’t recommend that you flirt all the time because that would be overkill. We also don’t recommend that you go too far and come across as too sexual (and maybe creepy). Instead, a little light flirting is harmless and fun.
Here are some examples:
- Tease her.
- Turn the tables by (jokingly) accusing her of flirting with you and distracting you while you work!
- Use sexual innuendos (sparingly).
- Tell her you dreamt about her but that it’s too naughty to go into details about.
- Ask her what the two of you will do the next time you’re together (and be a bit suggestive!).
8. Give Them Some Subtle Compliments
Compliments are designed to make the other person feel good about themselves while letting your crush know that you like them.
Just like flirting, you mustn’t overdo compliments. This is because too many compliments can make you look desperate and they can make her feel a little uncomfortable.
Instead, send her compliments via text sparingly. Don’t neglect them altogether (she’ll think you don’t like her) but don’t flatter her too much.
- “I love the outfit you wore when we last met.”
- “You always look amazing.”
- “I love your intelligence.”
- “You’re the funniest girl I’ve met!”
- “Your texts are also so positive.”
9. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Emojis and GIFs 😉
Emojis and GIFs can spice up your conversations, animating them with a bit of humor while ensuring your tone is never misunderstood.
For example, if you’re not sure that your joke will be seen as a joke, you can add the crying with laughter-emoji to make sure she gets that you’re just kidding around.
Or, you can use the heart eyes emoji when you compliment one of her pics (heart eyes + “cute” works a treat).
GIFs, meanwhile, can be used when you’re fooling around. For instance, if one of your interesting updates (see above) involves you getting caught in a thunderstorm, you could send a GIF from a disaster movie where someone gets soaking wet from the rain.
Essentially, emojis and GIFs bring your conversions to life, adding that much-needed spark so that things never become flat.
10. Avoid One Word Responses
If you want to know how not to text your crush without being boring: just don’t send one-word replies thinking you’ll look cool.
“You want to do something this weekend?” “Sure.”
It kills an interesting conversation because they a) leave the other person with nowhere else to go and b) they give them the impression that you’re not interested in talking to them right now.
Whenever you text her, make sure to be more elaborate with your responses so that she can reply back with something interesting. Don’t make this hard for her by giving her one-word responses so that she has to do all the work.
11. Use Teasers and Open Loops
Teasers and open loops are some of the best ways to keep her interested when she’s texting you. When used correctly, they can build anticipation and leave her wanting to hear more.
An open loop is basically when you leave her wondering what happens next. You can say something like “you’ll never guess what happened to me today …” without actually telling her what happened to you (yet!).
You can also use teasers, such as “so I walked into the store today and literally nearly died.”
Once again she’ll be begging to hear what actually happened. Here are 3 more open-ended statements you can use to encourage further text conversation:
- “Guess what?!”
- “I’ve got some amazing news to tell you later!”
- “Today started so badly but ended so WEIRDLY.”
12. Be Mindful of the Timing and Frequency of Texts
Whilst you shouldn’t ghost her or text now and then (because this could cause her to lose interest in you altogether), you also need to be mindful not to text her too often.
When you text a girl too much, you could cause overwhelm to the point where she feels suffocated. When this happens, she will start to lose attraction for you – and it can be very hard to win her back.
You need to strike a balance between showing interest and giving her enough space to enjoy her day without you. Here are some tips:
- Don’t text first every day. (Learn here how often should you text your crush)
- Don’t say “good morning” or “good night” all the time.
- If she hasn’t texted for a few hours, send her a funny meme or a GIF. Don’t ask “you okay?”
- If she’s engaging you and seems hot for texting right now, make sure to text her back.
- If the two of you have been chatting non-stop for a few hours, however, take a break. Tell her you need to go and do something.
- On hectic days, try not to go 24 hours without saying something. If you’re busy, check in with her to see how her day is going.
- Resist all urges to send follow-up texts unless you have something truly interesting to say.
13. Know When to Wrap up the Conversation
Following on from a point we just made, it’s important to end conversations prematurely if the two of you have been talking non-stop for a while.
This helps you to avoid overwhelm, it will prevent you from running out of steam (and therefore the conversation ends awkwardly) – and it will also give her the chance to miss you.
This latter point relates to the Zeigler Effect, which is where you leave conversations early to elicit curiosity. The idea is that because your crush is enjoying talking to you, she is now left wondering why you suddenly bailed on her.
What’s more important than her?
She’ll start to wonder what your thoughts are about her and this can deepen her attraction towards you. She’ll miss you, she’ll desire you – and she’ll be super happy when you return.
So if the two of you have been talking a while, make sure to end on a good note. If the conversation has peaked and you sense it’s now about to take a bit of a downturn, wind things up by saying you have to go do some stuff and you’ll catch her later.
After you establish yourself with your crush over text, it’s time you quickly move things forward to in-person.
And, for that, I recommend you to read our article How to talk to your crush.
So that’s that for this article on how to text your crush without being boring. Find common interests to start a conversation and keep the conversation going.