Having a crush is exciting but it can also be emotionally exhausting.
You invest a lot of yourself into a crush, getting to know them, flirting with them and hoping they like you back.
At this point, the two of you aren’t dating, which is why it becomes such an emotional rollercoaster.
You really like them but you don’t know what the future holds for the two of you.
As such, it’s entirely possible that your crush will reject you or ignore you completely.
This is normal – it happens.
What’s important is that you learn to handle rejection in a healthy and constructive way so that you’re able to move on from them swiftly without losing too much of yourself in the process.
What’s more, rejection should be seen as a lesson that teaches us what to do differently next time and it allows room for growth.
In this article, we’ll be exploring femora about how to deal with romantic rejection from a crush so that you can soften the pain and move forward.
How to Handle Your Crush Rejecting You:
1. Accept and Take Rejection as a Learning Opportunity
Rejection is hard to take – but why is it so painful?
Studies have shown that rejection is not all that different to physical pain. Social separation has consequences that trigger pain-related neural regions, and it’s natural that when someone we really like turns us down, we experience feelings that aren’t dissimilar to physical pain.
To quell the pain, then, it’s important that you accept rejection at face value. It has happened to you just like it has happened to everyone else at some point.
The next thing to do is to understand why it may have happened. Were the two of you just not compatible after all or did you make mistakes that may have caused them to turn you down?
While it will make you feel worse, it’s a healthy way to deal with rejection.
2. Don’t Make It All About The Looks
While physical attraction is important, it’s certainly not always the main reason why a crush rejects us.
After all, if a crush was texting you for a while, they obviously liked the look of you. So what else could be the reason they ultimately turned you down?
Instead of focusing on your looks and desirability, realize that there are other potential factors that can contribute to rejection. These include:
Lack of mutual compatibility. They decided that in the end, they aren’t compatible with you in certain areas.
Different life goals or values. Your crush won’t continue messaging you if they don’t think their future plans match yours.
Personal circumstances or timing. It might be the case of “right person, wrong time,” if your crush – for example – has just gotten out of a long-term relationship.
3. Focus On Self-Compassion and Self-Care During This Challenging Period
It will be a lot harder to get over rejection if you don’t look after yourself and be kind to yourself.
By focusing on self-compassion and self-care during this period, you can start to heal and move on from your crush.
This means first of all blocking your crush on social media so that you can’t contact them or check in on what they’re up to.
Then, you should take the time to do the things that will help you feel better in mind, body and soul. This might mean a new cosmetic routine for women, as well as an improved diet and workout regimen.
It also means trying a new hobby like reading a good literature, listening to self-improving podcasts and ignoring negative news stories. Essentially, avoid putting any harmful or bad information and substances into your body or mind right now.
4. Consider Journaling or Practicing Mindful Techniques to Gain Clarity and Perspective
Journaling can help you to process your thoughts and feelings right now.
You can use journaling to write down your negative emotions and let go of them, as well as make notes on how you want to live your life differently from now on.
Mindful techniques, such as focusing on your breathing, can help as well.
Not only do they allow you to shift your focus from your crush to the present moment and what you are currently doing, but they also help you to gain a clearer mind and a better perspective on the things that really matter to you.
Yes, you liked your crush but will they really matter in 5 years’ time?
Other mindful techniques include body scan meditation, walking meditation and sitting meditation, which all help you to feel present and focused on the task at hand.
5. Reframe Rejection As Redirection Towards a Better Match
While some people strike it lucky and meet the person of their dreams the first time they match with someone, it’s very rare that this happens.
Instead, it’s a much better idea to reframe your rejection as a redirection towards a better match.
What does this mean?
It means that you need to remember that every person you meet can act as a guide on your journey through life. This crush wasn’t the one for you but you can take the lessons you’ve learned to help you find someone who’s more compatible with you the next time around.
In other words, nurture a growth mindset. Spend time figuring out why this crush didn’t amount to anything and understand more about yourself and your real wants and values.
- Why did you crush on this person even if it led nowhere?
- Were they ever truly the one for you?
It’s highly likely that they weren’t right from the get-go. Figuring out why, as well as why you crushed on them in the first place, will help you find your One eventually.
6. Talk About Your Feelings With Someone You Trust
If you’re struggling right now, it’s not necessarily a good idea to internalize your thoughts and feelings.
Instead, it can help a lot if you’re able to share your feelings with someone you trust. This could be a close friend or a family member.
Whoever it is, it must be someone who won’t judge you but who will listen to you, show understanding and who even may be able to offer good advice. It’s especially helpful if they’ve been through what you’re going through now.
Getting your thoughts out in the open can take a lot of pressure off yourself. It will give you a sense of relief and even just the knowledge that you’re not keeping it all to yourself will help you feel better.
7. Don’t Stalk or Harass them
It should go without saying that you shouldn’t stalk or harass after the crush rejected you.
Not only will it not make them change your mind, it could also get you into a lot of legal trouble.
If you feel as though your behavior has crossed the line over into stalking and harassing – you text them way too much and you sometimes show up at their house uninvited – it’s time to take a step back and block them from social media.
Harassing isn’t a vague term but sometimes a person feels harassed if they’re receiving unwanted attention from someone who likes them (but whom they don’t like back).
You might not think you’re doing anything wrong but your crush certainly does.
Once your crush has rejected you, stop texting and calling them and move on. Avoid the itch to send them constant texts to find out why they turned you down.
8. Develop Resilience to Handle Rejection Effectively
When you develop resilience, you’ll be able to move on from this particular rejection, as well as any subsequent rejections in the future.
Resilience is what toughens us and protects us from feeling too disempowered when someone turns us down.
It can be cultivated in a few different ways:
Stay strong by building a strong support network. This means that you’ve got close friends and family members you can turn to when you feel down and need someone to talk to.
Practice self-reflection and learn from experiences. Take a look back on how you handled the rejection and consider what you can do better next time.
Set realistic expectations and avoid idealizing the crush. Most of the time, we idealize our crush to the extent that they’re way better in our heads than they actually are in reality.
Remember that your crush is a human being just like yourself and that, going forward, it’s smarter to be realistic about other people (as opposed to putting them on a pedestal).
Engage in activities that boost self-confidence and self-esteem. This could include going to the gym and working out and harnessing your hobbies. Do something that will give you a sense of achievement, such as taking dance classes or running a marathon.
9. Move Forward, Embrace a Healthy New Attitude
Now is the time to look to the future. You survived for years without your crush and you can survive now that they’re gone.
It’s essential to remember that life goes on and that it can still be amazing without your crush. There is a wealth of opportunities ahead of you!
It’s time to pursue new hobbies and interests and develop your mind and body via reading and learning.
Visit workshops, take classes. Expand your mind and be the best version of yourself so that when someone new comes along, you are ready.
10. Embrace New Romantic Opportunities With The Experience You Have Gained
Just because your crush rejected you, it doesn’t mean romance is dead. Give yourself time to heal and enjoy life as much as you can but make sure to embrace new romantic opportunities when they come along.
That said, it’s essential that you take what you’ve learned from this current experience and use it to make sure that you’re able to sustain romantic interest from your next crush.
Ask yourself what your rejection has taught you.
- Did you put them off in some way by not being yourself or acting too needy?
- Or maybe there was something you could have done better and found a different way to impress them?
Being rejected by a crush is never nice but it’s also not the end of the world. Sometimes, a relationship with someone we like just isn’t meant to be, either because we came on too strong or we’re simply incompatible.
If you made mistakes, you’ve got time to learn from them and use the experience to make sure you enjoy a better outcome next time around.
And if the two of you truly were incompatible? Accept it, work on yourself and make the most of your next opportunity.