One moment you have it all together, you are in a beautiful relationship with your partner and suddenly, the other moment, it all turns upside down.
Now your ex has cut off all contact and blocked you on everything.
There is nothing more painful than seeing a relationship and a person that you once loved so dearly, cutting themselves off from your life.
The emotional rollercoaster that happens after actions like these, can be very intense. We might feel hopeless, out of control and your heart fully broken and in pain.
“What did I do wrong?” or “I did everything wrong.”
Might be questions and statements that are fully plaguing you right now.
In this article I would like to cover the reasons why your ex might have blocked you so that you can better understand the situation.
We will also cover ways to deal with the situation so that you can come out stronger.
6 Reasons Why Your Ex Has Blocked You on Everything
1. Your ex wants to emotionally heal
When we are fully inside a break-up and the emotions are running all over the place, your ex might not see another way out than to cut off all contact as a way to heal from their pain.
They might, just like you, be hurt too and have different ways of coping to cut off all potential dangers to their emotional and mental health.
This can also be a way for them to just have their needs met for individual space, without looking backwards if they might get a message from you that might pull them back in the chaos and the pain.
2. They don’t want to be triggered into toxicity
You don’t know how your ex has learned to deal with their emotions. For them to cut off all contact might be a way to not let negativity around the relationship ruin their life.
They obviously have a deep need for peace from the relationship. If they’re around you they might feel that they don’t get this space to feel their own feelings and to heal.
It can happen that they might feel triggered a lot or that being around you might feel toxic for them. This all depends on your relationship history and the fights or arguments that you both had.
3. They want to move on & start anew
To start building something new, you have to let go of the old. This might be true for your ex, too.
They really want to move on with their life and don’t want to look back to what “used to be there.”
Blocking you and not allowing space for you in their life, can be a reason for them to finally start fresh.
When your ex is not constantly pulled back by what “used to be there” this allows space for them to start healing, to meet new people and to open new doors.
Without their past haunting them.
4. They are trying no contact rule
If you’re the one that broke up with them, they might have cut off all contact because they try to empower themselves.
They might have had a hard time with not texting you and forcing themselves to move on.
By blocking and cutting off all contact they make a statement toward themselves to not contact you anymore and not fall back into the old patterns of relationship and love for you.
5. They’re angry at you & trying to teach you a lesson
Cutting off contact and blocking someone, can be a way for your ex to show you that you’ve really hurt them and that they’re angry by your behavior.
It can happen that they don’t feel heard and want to teach you a lesson that they can’t get across otherwise.
However, communicating your anger or your hurt in this way, is never the best solution.
If your ex has multiple times tried to get their message across and didn’t feel heard by you, this can feel as the only solution for them.
6. They’re are trying to provide a reaction out of you
Besides, cutting off contact can also be a manipulative action from your ex.
When we lose our sense of control and realize that we can’t “touch” our ex-partner, we can sometimes make weird moves.
This all is a way to get control over the situation, influence your emotions and invoke a reaction such as anger or sadness. Your ex might still want to feel that they have the power.
The best that you can do, is to not give attention to this type of action and move on unbothered with your life the best as you can.
What You Should Do If Your Ex Blocked You On Everything?
1. Respect Your Your Ex’s Boundaries
When your ex decides to cut off all contact, they clearly show to you that they don’t want to hear from you.
This is why you should respect their choice and not try to find other ways to contact them.
This is their way of showing that they have had enough or need personal space. This is up to them. We can’t make people stay in contact with us or do anything with force.
We need to allow them space to do what they need and make the choices they need to make to protect themselves.
Respecting these boundaries is utmost important for your own well-being and of their well-being.
Crossing these boundaries might lead to more hurtful situations that won’t serve the both of you.
2. Recognize and Validate Your Emotions
It’s absolutely normal to go through a whirlwind of emotions when dealing with the loss of an ex. Besides this, your ex cutting off contact makes this feeling even more real.
It’s common to feel confusion, rejection and deep sadness after this happens. This is natural and completely normal. What is most important for you is to acknowledge your feelings.
Acknowledge your deep pain. Acknowledge what it does to you instead of making it more beautiful.
The better you get at validating that you have the feelings, that you have the emotions and what it does for you, the more you can heal.
To start processing these emotions I want to share some ideas with you below that might help you to sail more easily through the storms you might experience right now.
Start Journaling to Release:
Journaling is a really great way to start expressing and releasing the feelings and the thunder that you might feel inside.
This article, done by Chopra, goes deeper into the benefits of journaling and how it can help you heal on your journey.
One technique I want to share with you is called “Automatic writing”.
With this technique you just grab a piece of paper, a pen and start to write everything that you need to express. You truly allow all of your feelings to unleash on the paper.
Don’t try to overthink. Really let all the dark feelings and the unfiltered thoughts move through you and find a way out onto the paper. Be brutally honest with yourself.
No one will read this.
Write a Forgiveness Letter:
Write a forgiveness letter to yourself and even to them. If you truly hold on to a lot of anger this can truly help you to release these feelings and turn it into forgiveness.
Remember, forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about you. If you hold on to anger, you will be the only one that gets burned.
Write everything out that you want to forgive them for and then burn it.
If it’s a full moon at that moment of time, this is even better! This will accelerate the energy of forgiveness and help you release the emotions that are holding you back.
3. Seek Support
A breakup can surely feel like a really lonely journey, but that doesn’t have to be. You might have learned that you can’t ask for help or that that is a weakness, but this is not.
It can truly be helpful to you to ask for help when you need it.
Whether that is your friends, your family or even professional support if you realize that the pain and the partners you find yourself in, go very deep.
Asking for help is actually an act of courage, because you dare to admit to yourself that you can’t do it alone. This honesty creates opportunity for your growth.
In this article, psychologists already share 6 ways to move on after break-up that might help you on your journey right now.
4. Avoid Negative Coping Mechanisms
It’s tempting when your ex has blocked you to create a fake account and keep up with the stalking of them, however, don’t go there. You have to respect the boundary from your ex.
If you don’t respect this boundary, energetically, by creating a fake account, start stalking them or reaching out through different kinds of third-parties, this isn’t respecting but actually invading your ex’s personal space.
It’s hard to truly accept, but if your ex has been cutting off all contact, you have to find a way to accept and let it go.
Respecting your ex even though it hurts you, is one of the most important things that you can do.
5. Embrace Personal Growth
Nothing cuts deeper into your heart than the pain of a break-up. Besides this, nothing gives more opportunity for you to rise out of the ashes than a break up.
The mindset and the attitude that you adopt after a break-up decides how deep you will fall or how deep you will rise.
If you think only of your break-up as “Why did this happen to me?” or “Why is life working against me?”
You will never reap the beautiful side of a break up.
If you can take the pain, accept it, while feeling it all and still see that the pain is there to grow you as a person and that there is beauty in losing, you’ll master a really powerful skill.
You have the opportunity to now create a love for yourself that goes deeper than any relationship can ever touch.
This is an opportunity to rebuild your confidence by choosing for your own path as never before.
A break-up gives you a beautiful opportunity for self-improvement and growth in emotional maturity.
6. Engage in Healthy Distractions
Completely distracting yourself so that you don’t have to feel your emotions and become numb, is a strategy that won’t support you in life.
However, healthy distractions can be a great influence for overcoming your heart-pain.
If you think about it, if you’re all day alone in your house, you don’t have any hobbies or passions around you, not even your friends..
Don’t you think that the chance to wander away in your head is much bigger?
That’s where healthy distractions can be a beautiful chance for you to uplift your mood.
Think about hobbies that you have been putting off because of lack of time during the relationship.
Think of activities that you always wanted to explore but didn’t do because of procrastination.
Think of doing that course or investing in that online program to level up your health about relationships and in general
It’s important that you’re not going to shut yourself completely off from your friends and family. It’s important that you, even though you feel broken, let people that you trust in.
Let them experience you.
Let them feel with you. Let them be there for you. This can be scary at the beginning, but it will make the baggage you feel on your shoulders and heart lighter.
7. Considering Future Relationship
Your ex has probably shown you (hopefully) a million ways of what you love in love and at the same time a million of ways of what you don’t like in love.
Now you have the opportunity to take your pen and paper and reflect on this.
What have you learned from your relationship? What do you prefer to do differently in your next relationship?
Where can you grow? What qualities do you love in a person? And when you have this list of qualities, how far have you cultivated these qualities inside yourself?
Take your power back and become your own lover. The one that you would fall in love with.
Then, when you feel good again, after some time, go back on the horse and start dating again.
It’s never easy when your ex cuts off all contact. It can deeply leave you with feelings of sadness, rejection or desperation.
However, if someone cuts you off from their life for whatever reason they have, it’s important that we come to a place of acceptance.
This person clearly doesn’t want you in their life anymore.
We should accept this and move on.
We can’t make people stay in our lives when they decide that they don’t feel the need. That means a chapter has been closed and another one can be opened.
Instead of waiting till the door to your ex goes open again, start to open your own doors.
Open your own heart. Feel all your feelings and reflect on the relationship so that you can grow.
When you regain inner-strength again, there will come a moment that you feel ready to open your heart again for the doors of love.
Deeply trust your path and keep on growing through it all.