Are you wondering if your ex never cared about you?
That you have been in a relationship for months or even years, but don’t feel like you have actually mattered?
That you have actually made a difference in their lives?
Does it almost feel like you meant nothing to them?
In this article we will dive deeper into the signs that your ex potentially never truly cared about you.
This might be a hard pill to swallow, but if you truly can embrace and recognize each point with honesty and truthfulness to yourself and the relationship, it can be important for your healing.
We can’t heal what we aren’t truly aware off. Becoming aware of certain behaviors and actions that show clearly that someone isn’t caring for you, can help you get the clarity you’re looking for.
13 Signs Your Ex Never Cared About You
1. They moved on to a new relationship instantly
If your ex moved on so quickly like you were nothing to them, this was a clear sign that your ex never cared about you.
Because imagine this, if you have truly loved someone and this relationship has come to an end, you would be heartbroken and need some time to process this right?
But if they seem like they absolutely don’t care, chances are it’s just that: they absolutely don’t care.
This can manifest itself in for example, being in another relationship, having the most amazing fun as a single person and so on.
Of course, there is also the other side to it: it can also be a distraction, but overall, if someone acts like they don’t care, they probably aren’t.
Would you pretend to the “love of your life” that you wouldn’t care at all if you did care about them?
2. Their love only revolved around physical intimacy
If you felt they only had eyes for your body or for sexual acts and not for the for the person you’re, it was a telltale sign that they were not never interested in you.
They only cared for your body; they were only interested in getting something from you to meet their physical needs.
When someone is only showing you love in the hope to get something physical from you, please run. Because that person won’t be good for you in the long term. They might even force certain sexual acts on you.
This is where patience comes in.
People that are only driven by physical intimacy will show their true colors soon.
If you don’t give them fast enough what they want, they’ll go to the next one.
3. They have a history of being the “DUMPER”
This is one of the most evident signs your ex never cared about you – but, most people, just overlook it.
If you know them a little bit better by now or even speak to their friends or social circle, you might come to discover that they have a history of being a dumper. Someone who easily connects with people but also dumps people quite fast.
If this has happened to you where they have a history of leaving people easily and they have been moving on fast, it’s a clear sign your ex didn’t care about you.
For you love might be something special, but for them it could be just a game. Not everyone is honest. So try to accept that and move on.
4. You were never on their priority list
If you always felt like an option to them while you were making them your priority, this also showed that they only treated you well when they felt like it.
When there were other options, they might have made you less of a priority. They changed often while you were constant and real.
If you weren’t on the top of their priority list, it’s easier for them to just move on. It’s a sign you ex never cared as much as you did otherwise you would have known and felt like a priority instead of an option.
5. They dismissed or invalidated your emotions when you shared them
What I have realized from my own relationships, is that the people who truly cared about me, took the most time to listen and validate my emotions.
They really took time to hear me and see me and understand me. There was emotional investment.
I have also realized that the people I had the most toxic relationship were the ones that just treated my emotions like nothing.
They dismissed them, made it my problem, made me feel stupid, hurt my self esteem, and that I didn’t count. And, that “I was making stuff up”. Instead of really wanting to know what was going on within me.
If you experienced something similar, take a step back and reflect on it.
People that truly care for you, would never make you feel like your emotions are invalid or don’t matter.
6. They rarely initiated contact or made future plans to spend time together.
If you were the always who initiated the contact, wanting to make plans and spend time together, that’s a clear reg flag that your ex never loved you.
When you truly love someone then you think about them a lot and want to be with them.
If they are not putting any effort to call, go for a drink, take you out to dinner, go for a movie, a walk, a swim or anything, that’s an indication that you’re not as important as you think you are.
When you’re interested, you make an effort. It’s just what comes natural when we love something. Because we want to have it close to us.
7. They disregarded your boundaries and personal values.
If you clearly show a certain boundary that you have and mention it multiple times to be respected and they just keep crossing it without any respect or care for you, this is a clear red flag for your relationship.
This is also a clear indicator that someone just doesn’t care for you. We never want to make the people we love uncomfortable, at least not purposefully.
We would never want to mess up, cross their boundaries constantly or invade their personal values. We would love them when we care. We wouldn’t want to mess someone up for our own gain.
If your ex crossed your boundaries multiple times, it’s a sign your ex never loved you.
8. They consistently made decisions without consulting you or considering your opinions
One of my lovers used to make all her decisions without giving a single thought about how I could feel around it. She was just so considerate about herself that I didn’t matter.
At that time it was hard for me to see this clearly, but if I look back I can see that she was only indulging herself.
She “said” she loved me but her actions were clearly showing something else.
Even though I believe self-love is a beautiful thing within a relationship, when you choose to be together you have to take the other person also in consideration.
You have to know that what you do is also affecting the other in a way. You have to be mindful.
When someone isn’t mindful at all and isn’t taking you into consideration at all with any plans they make, this is a clear indicator too.
9. They belittled or demeaned you, either in private or in front of others
If they constantly made belittled you or demeaned you, either when the two of you were alone or even worse in front of others, they clearly showed you that they don’t care.
You would never demean the people you love. You will not consciously hurt or make the people you love feel worse.
If this sounds like them, be happy that you moved away from them. Because they clearly have some work to do on themselves to be a happier, brighter person.
Just know that their darkness and their way of behaving towards others, says more about themselves than about you. Never forget that.
10. They were unsupportive of your aspirations, often prioritizing their own needs and goals instead.
Another strong sign that your ex never cared about you is if they were not supportive.
Whenever you wanted to do something new or aspired to chase a certain dream, they didn’t truly care nor support you. They were only prioritizing their own needs and goals instead.
An unsupportive partner is one of the most damaging and unattractive traits that someone can have and a clear indicator that they don’t care as much as you think they do.
When we truly feel like we’re a team with our partner, we want them to win as much as we do. If your partner doesn’t want you to win, how can they truly care about you?
11. They never apologized or made amends for their mistakes or hurtful behavior.
When your partner is constantly making hurtful comments and repeatedly displaying a pattern of painful behavior towards you, without even apologizing for their mistakes, it’s a clear indicator of qn abusive relationship.
As mentioned earlier, when we truly love someone we don’t hurt that person or make them feel worthless. We do everything in our power to stand by their side and be a caring partner.
We try to make our partner feel heard, to apologize and listen, to make our partner feel seen. We wouldn’t walk over them as if they were a bag of trash, making hurtful comments all the time.
If your ex partner behaved like this and you were the only person who were trying to fix things then it’s a huge read flag for their feelings towards you.
12. They always threatened to “Leave” whenever confronted
Was your partner very easy in threatening to walk away from the relationship whenever they got confronted for anything?
I remember that when I was with my ex-partner, I was so sick of his controlling behavior that I told him that if he would “do this one more time I would break up with him.”
And, to be be completely honest with you, I already didn’t care about him anymore. The only reason that I was still in that relationship was (if I look back now) because of the comfort I felt with him.
I have never known better.
I was very young and we were already each other’s partners for 3 years. I already stopped caring long before but stayed in the relationship out of habit.
The reason I could threaten to leave is because I didn’t care. If I did care, I would never ever make this thought pop up in my partner’s head.
In my belief no one ever would do this for the person they truly care for and want to spend life with.
13. It’s not what it looks like
It’s important to realize that it isn’t always how it looks.
Sometimes your partner can also pretend to “move on quickly ” because this is how they have learned to handle intense feelings and conflict.
Everyone is different in this. Some people will grieve for weeks or months, some people will distract themselves, some people will invest in growing and learning right away and so on.
They might even feel bad and feel guilty for all the hurtful things they did but they don’t have the courage to bring it up.
No one is same.
However, there is also a possibility that they are very emotionally intelligent and they cut off all contact so that the both of you have higher chances for healing quicker.
This doesn’t mean that they don’t care. What it does mean is that they want the best for themselves and possibly for the both of you.
Navigating Further (Summary)
These were the major signs your ex never cared about your or loved you.
After reading the signs, you possibly have come to a recognize if your ex truly cared about you or not. However, whether they truly cared or not, it’s in the past now.
See this as a lesson, a relationship that you have learned from, about yourself and about others.
This has been a chance for you to see what you love and what you don’t. What you need and what you don’t.
Most important is now to really focus on your self-care. Don’t let their life distract you but stay close to yourself.
Keep your eyes on moving forward and taking the pain to make it into something powerful, something rewarding.
Surround yourself with the love of your family, your friends and social circle. If you can’t do it alone, ask help from a professional who specializes in these matters.
There are many people who would love to help you and can help you discover what you need to move forward.
After all, remember that it’s a waste of time to spend your wonderful thoughts and precious energy on someone who doesn’t care about you at all.
You deserve someone who does and this starts with you caring about yourself from inside so that the world and your relationships can reflect this from outside.