Here’s the thing: Thinking about an ex is common, and it happens to the best of us.
According to data provided by 93.1 FM Wzak, 71% out of 1000 people (both single and attached) admitted they find it difficult not to think about their former partner.
In fact, the results showed that most of them engage in obsessive behavior, such as stalking their exes online. To be more exact, 76% of women and 70% of men did this.
But does thinking about an ex affect people’s chances of finding new love?
More than 57% of all single responders said they have difficulties focusing on finding a new partner.
Even so, the guy you’re dating right now is not part of that category. Since he’s involved in a relationship with you, it means you’ll have to dig deeper to find out just how much he’s thinking about his ex girlfriend.
Unfortunately, reading his mind is not possible. However, you can deduct what’s really going on by watching out for the following signs.
They will reveal if he still has feelings for ex boyfriend’s and what are his real intentions regarding his ex.
10 Signs He Is Still In Love With His Ex & Wants to Get Back With Her:
1. He started dating you shortly after the breakup
Some people stay single until they fully recover after a bad breakup. Others jump straight into new relationships without giving themselves time to heal after getting out of a serious relationship.
They get involved with other people in their attempt to escape their negative feelings without giving themselves the chance to process them.
These are called rebound relationships and you might be his rebound.
How can you tell?
Think about how long has passed between the moment he split ways with his ex and the moment he started dating you.
Do you think that was enough time for him to fully heal? While it’s true that every individual is different, a 2007 study revealed that the magic number is 3 months.
Each person who goes through a breakup regardless of whether they are the dumpers or the dumpees needs at least 3 months to get over their ex.
Things are different for those who went through a divorce. Data collected from a 2009 study shows divorcees need a period of 18 months to move on with their life.
2. He keeps reminders of her all over his place
If you’ve been through a breakup before, you know that getting rid of your ex-boyfriend’s stuff is essential for your healing process.
Many relationship coaches, psychologists, and even Feng Shui experts will tell you that you shouldn’t drag the past into your present by keeping reminders of your former partner.
But what if he does that?
- Is he still in love with his ex girlfriend?
- Does this mean he wants to get back with his ex girlfriend?
I won’t lie to you… yes, it’s evident that he still loves his ex and could be contemplating on the idea of mending their relationship.
Now, there are exceptions, such as if he stores her stuff in a box somewhere in his apartment. Who knows, maybe she didn’t have time to take them back or she didn’t want to.
Things are not okay if you still find her hairbrush or toothbrush in the bathroom. Or, if he still keeps photos of them together on display.
Why? They are all signs he can’t let her go (and might want her back).
3. He playlist screams he still loves his EX
Could your boyfriend’s taste in music be the answer you’re looking for?
If you notice he tends to listen to romantic songs that talk about lost love, unrequited feelings, relationship failures, and so on, then you should be alert.
It’s a known fact that the music we listen to is connected to our mood.
For example, numerous people listen to sad music when they’re sad. The same could apply to your boyfriend.
His mind could be stuck on his ex and that’s why his playlist screams “I miss my ex.”
Take a close look at what songs he shares on social media and who likes them.
- Is he still friends with his ex on Facebook?
- Do they still follow each other on Instagram?
If so, I’m sorry to tell you, but he might try to send indirect messages to his former GF with those songs.
4. He got upset when he found out his ex has a new BF
When was the last time he was upset/jealous and why?
If he clearly told you that his ex got into a new relationship or started dating and his mood was affected by that news, it’s because he still loves his EX.
It could be that deep inside, he always thought he still has a chance with her as long as she stays single.
Now that he doesn’t think he has that option anymore, he could act angry and/or depressed.
Of course, he could stay silent about what happened. In this situation, you’ll have to find out on your own.
How? By doing a little stalking yourself.
In case they are still in contact on social media, it will be easy for you to find out if the source of his unhappiness is her new relationship status.
Before you do that, though, I strongly encourage you to try to have a heart-to-heart honest conversation with him. Instead of assuming what’s going on with him, simply ask.
5. He talks about her a bit too much or… not at all
Men who keep ruminating about their breakup and thinking about their ex could approach the situation in two ways: they could talk about it a lot or… not at all.
What is your case?
- Does he keep mentioning his ex-GF every time he can?
- Or does he avoid the topic altogether?
In this regard, you must know that men who are reluctant to talk about their former relationships didn’t move on. That’s why it’s difficult for them to answer the easiest questions.
Conversely, he could be the oversharing type. His thoughts could drift back to his former partner when you least expect it.
Major red flags:
- He often compares your behavior with hers
- He takes you to the same places he took her
- He talks about her as if you were his therapist
Can you relate?
If you can, then don’t overlook these signs. However, try not to make a big deal out of them. Pair them with other signs.
6. He keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriend’s inner circle
Another sign he’s thinking about going back to his ex is this: He still talks with his ex-GF’s family and/or friends.
At first sight, this could seem inoffensive. Perhaps he got really close to one of her friends or family members and they don’t want to let that relationship go as well.
While that’s definitely a possibility, it usually isn’t the case. Most men keep in touch with their ex-girlfriend’s inner circle because they want to stay updated with everything that goes on in their life.
The guy you’re dating/your boyfriend might do the same. The only reason he stays connected with those people is because they’re a source of information about his ex’s feelings, whereabouts, and so on.
Pro tip: If he didn’t introduce you to his friends or family yet that’s because he’s still hoping you won’t replace his ex-GF – he’s thinking about getting her back.
7. He appears to be happy for seeing his ex
Is he slowly falling for you or is he still hooked on his ex?
Another sign he still can’t let her go is when seeing her makes him feel genuinely happy.
Has something like that happened? Maybe you were taking a stroll together one day and there she was: waiting to cross the street or coming out of a shop.
Without thinking twice, your boyfriend approached her to say “hi” with a lot of enthusiasm.
Or, if you’re dating someone who shares this type of info with you, then he might’ve told you that he met her briefly (while having a big smile on his face).
Unfortunately, that’s not good news for you. Seeing a former partner, especially not long after the breakup is generally not a positive experience because it brings back painful unresolved feelings and memories.
8. He brought up his ex during physical intimacy
Why do you think the guy you’re seeing wants to mend the relationship with his ex?
Did he mention her during your intimate moments?
If so, you might be right.
Now, there are men who mess things up because they simply don’t think about the implications of what they’re going to say before they say it.
By this, I mean that he might talk about his ex in the most inappropriate instances, such as in the bedroom.
However, if it’s something transient, you shouldn’t worry about it. It only becomes a problem if he does it more than once.
As I mentioned before, you could be a victim of comparison.
In other words, he could say things like:
- Why don’t you want to…? My ex never had a problem with it.
- That’s how you want it? I was used to doing it differently with my ex-GF.
- Are you turned on? My ex used to love this.
9. He is still in touch with his ex-girlfriend
For this point, I want to ask you a couple of questions:
- Does your boyfriend have children with his ex?
- Do they have a pet together?
- Do they run a business together? Are they business partners?
- Is she his ex wife?
- Do they have reasons to talk that are not related to their previous relationship?
Your answers matter a lot because, if he has good reasons for not ceasing to talk with his ex-GF or ex wife, then you shouldn’t worry.
However, if there’s nothing that connects them such as a kid, pet, or business, then that means trouble.
As you already know, very few people are capable of staying friends with an ex after their relationship ends. They’re probably both confused and that’s why they do it.
10. Your intuition is trying to tell you he wants her back
Look, even if the reasons that led you to believe he wants his ex back are not palpable, this doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
If what you’re feeling is an uncomfortable sensation in your stomach whenever you’re thinking about his intentions with you, then you shouldn’t ignore it.
Your intuition is something you can rely on because it’s capable of putting details together that you don’t even notice.
You know even when he is hiding something when he say he is just a friend with her – or they are on good terms now.
That’s why it comes as a feeling, and not as behavioral evidence.
Why My Boyfriend Still Has Feeling For His Ex?
If he still loves his ex or if he still misses his ex, then there can be quite lot of reasons for this. However, the most evident ones are that…
- He didn’t heal before moving on from his ex
- He doesn’t feel the same emotional connection with you
- He regrets certain aspects and wants to make them right
- He is looking for comfort and familiarity
- He simply can’t stand seeing her with other men
- He thinks of his ex as his best friend
What should I do if my boyfriend still has feelings for his ex?
Lack of communication is one of the highest-ranked reasons for relationship dissolution. With this in mind, what do you think you should do next?
Talk to him about it! Communicate your concerns and tell him how you feel.
You see, he might not be a jerk – even if his ex is still on his mind, and the thought of getting back together with her makes him feel good.
A 2015 study shows that men and women process post-relationship grief differently. Men usually take longer to move on from an ex, especially if they were dumped.
What does this mean? It means that he might not be aware that what he’s doing is upsetting you and hurting you. He might act out of impulse or because of his inability to properly process his feelings.
That’s why it’s essential to have a heart-to-heart talk with him. It’s only fair to ask where things really stand between the two of you.
What’s the conclusion?
The signs above should point you in the right direction.
Are they telling you he is still not over his ex?
If your concerns turn out to be true, then cut your losses and try to move on with your life (better than he did).
However, if his intentions with you are serious and he randomly brings her up without having a major reason (mainly out of habit), then do your best to make him forget about her completely.
Remember, honest and clear communication is the key for a healthy relationship!