In an ideal world, a man would make it easy by telling you that he’s into you.
Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world – and guys can be just as indirect as women when it comes to revealing their feelings.
The good news is that if you pay attention to the way a man behaves, you can figure out if he’s pursuing you or not.
And the key to paying attention to how he behaves is knowing the different signs to watch out for.
In this article, I’ll be taking a look at the biggest signs that a man is pursuing you. By the end of the article, you should have a better idea of whether he’s just being nice or whether this could actually be a man you date.
Signs That A Man Is Pursuing You
1. He Dedicates Significant Time and Effort to You
A man values his time. If he doesn’t like someone enough, he won’t dedicate his time to them.
On the other hand, a man who likes a girl and is chasing her will always give her his time. He’ll make an effort to arrange things to do with you and he will always make sure that he is on time.
Remember, a man has to prove that he is the one for you. He knows he can only do this by spending time with you.
If he didn’t spend so much time with you, he’d figure you know he doesn’t really care about you … but he’ll also be worried that you’ll be spending time with another man.
And in case you’re wondering – yes, there are a lot of other things a man could be doing with his time. But hey, he’d rather spend time with you.
2. He Remembers Subtle Details About You
It’s a bit of a myth that guys don’t pay attention to things and always forget stuff.
Yes, it’s true that if a man doesn’t care about you he might not listen to you enough to remember the details.
But if a man is pursuing you, he will take mental notes on the things you’ve said and the clothes you’ve worn. And if he’s in hot pursuit of you, he might even take real notes!
However he records things about you, he makes sure to remember them. He knows your food and drink preferences, your tastes in music and your favorite movies.
You might even be surprised by how much he remembers about you – as well as the funny things he remembers!
3. He Frequently Smiles Back At You
If a man is pursuing a girl, he will smile consciously and unconsciously.
He’ll smile consciously because he wants you to know he’s having a good time with you.
He’ll also smile unconsciously because he simply can’t help it. He’s enjoying being with you and it’s making him smile.
So pay attention to how often he smiles. If he never smiles, it’s not a terrible sign – but it’s hardly a good sign.
If he’s often smiling, it’s a strong sign that he has feelings for you and wants you.
4. He Often Looks Directly Into Your Eyes
Studies have shown that attraction and feelings of passionate love are enhanced by an unbroken mutual gaze.
This means if a man is pursuing you, he will gaze back into your eyes just as you’re gazing at him.
It makes sense: If a man is attracted to someone, he will want to admire that person.
And if you direct his gaze right back at him, it can suggest mutual attraction … which can serve to arouse him and make him pursue you even more.
I’d also like to add a quick condition: If a man likes you but he’s a bit too shy, he might find it hard to look directly into your eyes.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you, though (he’s just shy!).
5. He Tries to Hang Out With You As Much As Possible
One of the biggest signs (if not the biggest) that a man likes you is when he actively tries to hang out with you as much as he can.
Make no mistake, this isn’t a case of him waiting for you to ask him out. On the contrary, he’ll take charge and ask if you want to do things with him.
What’s more, he won’t invite other people – it will just be the two of you.
He might suggest you go for a ride or even for dinner together.
Or maybe he’s just happy to accompany you to the shops.
Either way, he’ll try to hang out with you a lot.
6. He Sometimes Calls You By Cute Names
If you’ve noticed that he doesn’t always use your first name but has instead created a few cute nicknames for you, it’s a big sign that he’s pursuing you.
Naturally, you might not like all the names he’s created for you. But the fact that he’s decided to create these names for you is a sign of affection.
It’s also a sign that he sees you as more than just a friend. To him, there’s a close connection between the two of you and he feels totally okay with calling you by different names.
These could be anything, such as “cupcake,” “pumpkin,” and “sunshine.”
7. He Tries to Make You Laugh
When a girl likes someone enough to chase her, he will try to make her laugh as much as he can.
It’s just what guys do. They know that girls like men who can make them laugh, and they understand that shared laughter can create an emotional bond that brings two people closer together.
Trying hard to make you laugh is another example of him putting in an effort to impress you. He wants you to like him, he wants you to find him funny and appealing, and this means he’s going to reel off a few jokes.
8. He seems to Enjoy Being in the Company of Your Friends
How does he behave when he’s with your friends?
Is he at ease with himself, comfortable and does he have a laugh with them?
Or does he look bored and jaded? As though he doesn’t want to be there?
When a man likes a woman, he will do all he can to ingratiate himself with her social circle. He’ll take the time to get to know her friends and he will make sure that he has a good time with them.
This is because he wants to impress you and he wants to be a part of your life.
Because he knows how important your friends are to you.
9. He Makes You Feel Heard
When you talk, he listens. Not only does he listen, he actively listens.
This means he truly absorbs what you say, gives you time and space to speak and he offers totally non-judgemental advice to you.
In other words, he is making you feel heard.
Not just that but if there’s something he can help you with, he will step up to the plate. For instance, if you share a problem with him, he’ll hear you out before doing what he can to help you.
10. He Appears to Be Possessive In His Feelings Towards You
While it’s never a good thing when a man tries to possess you, it’s definitely the case that, when a man is in the early stages of pursuing a woman, he will do all he can to make sure he knows how you feel about other guys.
For instance, if a man is chatting with you, he’ll make sure to be a part of the convo. He might interject or try to steer it in a different direction (one that suits and involves him).
Or, if he finds out you’ve been hanging out with another guy, he’ll probably ask you how it went. What kind of things did you talk about?
Essentially, he’s trying to work out how you feel about other men – as well as what kind of guys he’s competing with for your affection.
11. He’s Eager to Integrate You Into His Social Circle
Earlier, we saw how a guy who is pursuing you will ingratiate himself with your friends. Equally, he will make sure you integrate into his social circle, too.
All guys have their own worlds that they’re pretty protective about. They only let specific people into them that they like, trust and respect.
As such, you can take it as a strong sign that he likes you if he starts asking you to hang out with his buddies. He wants to find out how they feel about you (and how you feel about them) and maybe he’ll also be hoping you let something slip to them about your feelings for him.
Also, a guy’s social circle is a reflection of himself and his values. By introducing you to it, he’s basically saying “this is who I am. Do you like what you see?”
12. He Has a Good Memory for the Things You Say
They say that guys have a selective memory. In other words, they only remember things they want to remember.
This might be true. But it’s also good news for you if you remember the things you say.
If he later quotes you on something or he reminds you about that certain something you said, it shows that he’s paying a lot of attention to you. And this is generally because he wants you.
13. He Frequently Involves You in His Future Plans
The moment a guy starts involving a girl in his future plans is the moment you pretty much know for sure that he’s chasing you.
For example, he might talk about his future aspirations, goals and dreams and how he’d love it if you were there by his side, supporting him along the way.
Or maybe he might talk about his desire to live in another city and ask if you’ve ever thought about living there, too? “I think that kind of place would suit both of us.”
Whatever he says, just know that anytime he involves you in his future plans is a strong sign that he’s in this for the long haul with you.
14. He Is Up-to-Date With Your Social Media Activity
If you’re hanging out with him and he brings up something you recently posted on social media, such as a post, a meme or a reel, it indicates he’s been checking your social media activity.
Naturally, it could also mean he just happened to come across it as he was scrolling through social media.
But the fact that he brought it up shows that he’s trying to create a connection with you. He’s also subtly hinting that he’s been keeping tabs on your posts – which demonstrates he likes you.
15. He Feels Jealous At Times But Does Not Display It Openly
Very few men will want to display their jealousy openly because they know it makes them insecure.
But know this: If a man is actively chasing you, he will feel pangs of jealousy if he sees you talking/flirting with other men.
And while he may not express this openly, he’ll drop subtle signs that betray his feelings.
For example, he might ‘innocently’ inquire if you had a good time with a certain guy recently. Or he might badmouth another guy you know, such as claiming that he isn’t smart or that he isn’t funny.
It might not seem like a big deal but it means he’s jealous – and this suggests he wants you to himself.
16. He Says He Likes You and Gives You Compliments
While it’s true that sometimes we don’t listen (because we don’t believe it) when someone tells us they like us, it’s important that you listen when he says he likes you if he’s also been displaying other signs that he’s chasing you (see above).
Of course, not all men are direct enough to tell you that they like you. But a confident, charismatic guy will tell you – and he’ll also shower you with compliments.
While these may start out as soft compliments – such as “I like your hair” – they might become deeper and more personal. For instance, he might comment on the way you smile or your intellect or your generosity.
These types of compliments come with feelings behind them and suggest he likes you.
17. He “Accidentally” Gets Touchy Every Now and Then
Human touch can make you feel relaxed and even aroused. He knows this – which is why you might notice him “accidentally” touching you every now and then.
Maybe he’ll brush past you on his way to the bathroom or perhaps he’ll playfully touch you on the arm when the two of you are sharing a joke.
If the amount of times he touches you becomes more and more frequent, it means that it isn’t an accident. He’s doing it on purpose and it’s because he’s chasing you.
18. He Has Gifted You Something Thoughtful
This could be anything, from a first-edition copy of a book he knows you love to a bouquet of flowers after you told him you’d had a bad week at work.
Whatever the gift is, if it’s something that clearly comes with a lot of thought behind it, it means that he sees you as more than just another friend. He is working hard to get your attention, he’s making a lot of effort – and he’s even spending money on you.
In other words, he’s performing gestures.
Once a guy does this – and especially when he starts spending money on a woman – it’s another clear sign that you’re inside his head, he can’t stop thinking about you and he wants to make sure you know it.
Is It True That If He Wants You He Will Pursue You?
A man will generally pursue a woman if he truly believes she is worth it. If you’ve shown him a few signs that you’ve got what he’s looking for, there’s every chance he’ll chase you, woo you – and ask you out over and over.
He’ll spend time getting to know you and put all the effort in. You’re the girl for him!
However, if a man is insecure or doesn’t truly know what he wants, he might back away from pursuing you.
It might also be the case that, despite how much he wants you, he’s scared of rejection.
He might also be a player who’s had second thoughts – he doesn’t want to chase you and then hurt you by walking away.
So if it’s clear that a man likes you, don’t always assume he will pursue you. While most men will, some – for various reasons – won’t.