What He Thinks When You Don’t Text Him Back?

You’re upset with him and now trying get a reaction out of him.

Or, you just trying to teach him a lesson through silent treatment.

I’m not here to judge. 

But here’s the thing: When you don’t text him back, he’s going to assume a few things and what he’s assuming might not be what you want him to assume.

If you’re in a – shall we say – “situation” because he texted you after he got your number but you didn’t text him back, you might be at the point where you feel you probably can’t talk to him right now.

It’s too late – you’ve left it too long.

If you’re wondering what he might be thinking, this article is here to give you a few clues. While we can’t read his mind and say for sure what he thinks, we can at least give you a few things guys generally assume when their crush doesn’t text them back.

Let’s find out. 


If you’re in early stages of talking and then stopped texting him the he is very likely to think that you’re playing hard to get, lost interest, or started seeing some other guy.

Here Is What He is Thinking If You Didn’t Text Him Back:

#1 “She is Probably Not Interested Anymore”

We understand that just because you didn’t text him back it doesn’t mean you’re not interested in him. But it’s fairly obvious that many guys will assume this to be the case.

Look at it from his point of view: He gathered the courage to text you but was met with dead silence. 

What else can he assume? 

Whether he assumes this or not will likely depend on what he said to you, as well as what your previous interactions were like.

If, for example, he texted to ask you out on a date but you didn’t reply, he’s going to take it as a sure sign that you’re simply not interested. 

And especially if he sends you a double text and you also don’t reply to that? Yeah, he’ll take it as a huge sign that you don’t want to talk to him. 

#2 “Should I Send Her Another Message to Check-In?” 

While some guys will send one text and leave it at that, most guys will feel as though they should probably send at least one message to check in.


Because they really like you and are keen to get to know you more. As such, they’ll at least try one more time. 

Why not? 

Not just that but they’ll figure that you were too busy to reply the first time around and simply forgot to get back to them. 

Either that or they caught you in a bad mood the first time around. If they send you a check-in message, they might catch you in a better mood – and this time you might reply. 

So don’t be surprised if he sends you a second text message even if you left the first one on read. 

If he sends you a third message without a response? Yeah, you should probably block him by now. 

#3 “She Could Be Busy But She’ll Reply Eventually”

I know what you’re thinking: But am I really that busy that I can’t find the time to reply?

And it’s true – most guys will rationalize the situation by thinking “no one is ever that busy that they can’t at least send one or two lines.” 

And yet there will be occasions when a guy will assume that – yes – you are simply too tied up with life to get back to him .

Which is totally cool, of course. People get busy.

If he assumes this is the case with you, he’ll leave it a few days – maybe even a week – before hitting up your inbox again. 

And if he does assume it’s no big deal because you’re busy, it can be a great sign. It shows that he respects that you have interests outside of him. 

But if you leave it too long, he might think you’re just being rude. 

#4 “She Might Be Texting Someone Else” 

If a man automatically assumes that you’re texting someone else now that you haven’t got back to him, it’s an indication of where his mind is. In other words, he’s feeling a bit insecure. 

But hey it happens – and it also depends on how the two of you met,

For example, if you met on a dating app and haven’t texted him back for a while, it’s natural for him to assume you’re busy texting someone else. 

However, you two went on a few dates and now ghosting him then he will assume you’re no longer interested.

In this instance, your next move is crucial. If you leave him waiting too long, he’ll lose interest and leave you to text this other guy. 

At the same time, guys love a bit of competition and they might try even harder to get your attention.

#5 “She Might Be Playing Games With Me” 

This all depends on how the two of you have interacted so far.

For example, if you’ve been pretty consistent with your responses but have now stopped replying, he might take it as a sign that you’re playing cool or playing games with him. 

Especially if you pop up out of nowhere before vanishing again. 

See, just as guys play games with girls, girls also play games with guys. And if you haven’t replied to his text, he might suspect you’re trying to excite his interest by getting him to chase you. 

If this truly is the case, the good news is that mind games can be exciting for a guy. They create a bit of mystery and they accentuate the push-pull thing.

In other words, if you pull away from him, he will push towards you (chase you). 

On the other hand, it could backfire badly. If he hates games, he won’t tolerate you playing hard with him and will likely stop responding you altogether. 

#6 “I Won’t Act Desperate – Instead, I’ll Let Her Initiate The Next Conversation” 

If you’ve decided to purposely ignore his text to see if he’ll send you a message, you might be out of luck. 


Because there is every chance he doesn’t want to look desperate. As such, he’s going to wait until you finally get back in touch with him.

Of course, there are girls (and some guys) that do exactly this.

They know their crush has texted them, and they know their crush is really hoping they reply.

But they decide to leave the text on read just to see if their crush likes them enough to send a text again. 

If you’ve got a guy who is absolutely terrified of acting desperate, the reality is he’s going to play this as cool as possible. Which means he’s not going to send you another text until you get back to him. 

#7 “I Should Probably Unsend the Message” 

This is a funny one because, while it’s totally fine to unsend a message just a few minutes after we sent it, it’s not cool to unsend one a few hours after we sent it.

There are two reasons he might do this. One is that he’s trying to get your attention by unsending a message that he clearly knows you’ve already seen (even if you haven’t read it yet).

He’ll be hoping you see the “unsent message” text and think “hmm, I wonder what he wanted?!”

Then, the idea is that you’ll finally reply to him. 

Another reason is that he might have genuinely had second thoughts about sending it. For instance, he might be worried thinking that he’s texting you too often, and is therefore appearing either needy or uninteresting. 

I have to add here that it’s rare for a guy to unsend a message if you don’t reply back. But if he does, it will naturally cause you to wonder why he’s unsent it – and this could really work in his favor if you then get back to him. 

#8 “Why Is She Taking So Much Time?”

While some guys are completely cool with you taking a lot of time to reply (because they themselves live busy lives), others can’t stop checking their phones to see if you’ve been in touch yet.

And if you still haven’t been in touch, they’ll be wondering why the heck this is the case! 

Depending on how strong their imagination is, they might dream up all kinds of scenarios: 

  • He’ll wonder if you’re okay
  • He’ll wonder what you’re doing that’s so important that you can’t find the time to text him back 
  • He’ll rationalize that perhaps you’re going through something personal at the moment 
  • He’ll consider the possibility that you’re busier than normal at work
  • He’ll wonder if something went wrong in last conversation you two had but he didn’t notice.
  • Maybe you’ve lost your phone? Hey, it happens 

He might even wonder if he messaged the wrong person and will double-check.

Or he might get it into his head that the message didn’t actually deliver to your phone. In this scenario, he’ll hit your DMs to make sure you got it. 

#9 “Maybe She’s Just Not a Big Texter”

If you don’t like the idea of this guy calling you, you’ll need to hope that he doesn’t start to think that you’re not a big texter.

This is because he’ll assume that, since you don’t really like texting, you probably prefer phone calls.

As such, he might give you a call. 

Of course, there’s no harm in a guy thinking this. A lot of girls (and a lot of guys) don’t like to text – they prefer to phone. 

One of the reasons for this is that texts can get lost in translation and two people can’t say all that they need to say via text. 

What’s more, some people take information in differently. Some don’t mind written text, while others find it hard to process. 

So if you haven’t got back to him yet and he’s decided that there’s a possibility you’re not a fan of texting, be ready for a phone call. 

#10 “Did I Text Her at the Wrong Time? Maybe I Should Have Waited” 

Is there a wrong and a right time to text someone? Of course. 

There are many ways to look at this – and he’ll be looking at it from all angles.

For example, maybe you only gave him his number recently and he texted you too quickly (maybe he didn’t even leave it a day?). In which case, he’ll be kicking himself because he obviously texted you too soon. 

Or maybe you replied to his first text and he then sent you a reply within minutes. Maybe that was too soon and he should have left it longer. 

Or maybe he texted you really late at night – midnight! In this case, he again might be worried that he texted you at a totally inappropriate time. 

Guys can literally drive themselves crazy with this one. 

And yet, most of the time, it doesn’t really matter when he texted. What’s more important is what he said.

If you want to put him out of his misery and actually quite like, you could of course get back to him. There’s still time. 

#11 “I Should Divert My Mind Somewhere in the Meantime” 

You might think it’s silly for a man to analyze this whole situation to the point where he has to literally find something to divert his attention.

But it happens. A lot.

A guy will text you and if he’s met with a wall of silence, he will be able to think of nothing else except why you haven’t texted him back. 

He’ll start by doing small tasks to take his mind off things, such as making a cup of coffee or having a quick shower. But it’s not enough – it isn’t filling up enough time.

So, he might decide to stick a box set on to distract him. That hardly works, of course, because all he can think about is why you haven’t texted him! 

So maybe he’ll take a walk or call up a buddy to see if he wants to hang out. 

But whatever he does, you and his phone will be on his mind at all times. 

#12 “I Hope I Didn’t Come Across As Too Desperate. I’ll Play It Cool For Now”

Make no mistake, there’s not a single guy on this planet who wants to look desperate. And most of the time, they’ll have no reason to believe they’re acting desperately.

But if you don’t respond to his text – and especially if he texted pretty quickly after he got your number – he might start to think he’s already come across as too desperate.

At this point, he’ll want to save face by changing your opinion of him. That means he’ll do the opposite of what he’s already been doing.

Which in this case means he won’t text you for a while (and he might not text at all unless you text him first). 

The worst-case scenario here is that if you do happen to like him and eventually send him a reply, he might take his time to reply to you. 

Because he’s playing it cool. 

#13 “I Don’t Want to Jump to Conclusions Before Her Reply” 

You might not realize it but there’s a chance that he’s sat at home or at work itching to send you message. 

This is because he’s imagining all kinds of things in his head – and it’s making him eager to find out how you feel about him. 

  • Does she not like me at all?
  • Will she reply to me eventually? 
  • Is she ignoring me? 
  • Has she lost her phone? 
  • Did my message deliver?

In his mind, the only way to find out any of these questions is by sending you a follow-up text. But there’s also a chance that he’s trying very hard not to jump to any conclusions right now.

After all, there could be a perfectly innocent reason as to why you haven’t got back to him yet and it’s therefore not worth his time getting so stressed about it. You will reply eventually – he can wait. 

About Will Titterington

Will Titterington is a highly sought-after relationship coach and author, with a passion for helping individuals and couples build and maintain healthy, thriving relationships. Will loves connecting with new people from all around the world and is always up for a good laugh, and takes joy in making others smile.

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