Are you struggling with the thought of whether your ex wants you back or not?
Are you receiving mixed signals which has often turned you think if you should move on or wait it out?
Don’t worry! You’ll get all your questions answered.
In this article, we will explore the different subtle signs that will tell you if your ex wants you back in their life or have they moved on.
And you will also have more clarity on your next steps: Do I hold on or let go?
16 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back Secretly:
1. They have unblocked your number and social media
When an ex wants you back, one of the last things they would do, is to unblock your number or unblock you on social media.
If your ex blocked you but now “opens the gates” again, this might be a good and clear sign that they are open for reconciliation.
However, this should be seen in context, because it might also be because they are just curious to see what you’re up to.
2. They are keeping in contact with you
Even though you both have parted away, they still reach out to you frequently, they want to know how you’re doing and what’s happening in your life.
They still put in the effort to contact you and stay in touch.
Besides this, they also reach out on special occasions and holidays.
If your ex is doing this, you’re still in the top of their mind and most likely your ex wants you back.
3. They keep you updated about their life
An ex that isn’t interested in you anymore, won’t put in any effort to tell them about their lives because they just don’t feel this.
If your ex still shares with you all the details about their dating life, and about their day to day day, the chances are solid that your ex wants you back.
They still want to involve you in their lives.
4. Your ex takes responsibility for issues in the past relationship
If your ex comes back to you, with the same baggage, with the same old issues and there hasn’t been any change, than you can conclude that they aren’t so serious about coming back into the relationship at all.
When your ex takes radical responsibility, see where the issues in your relationship were and have taken real time out to look at their part in it, before they come back, the chance is big that they are more serious about wanting to have you back.
They want to work on themselves so that both of you could be in healthy relationship.
5. They get nostalgic
Do you receive texts from your ex starting with “remember this,” “remember when?”
It’s a sign that memories of good time spend together is playing in their mind. They still have the positive memories your past relationship.
This is a good sign that your ex wants you back but is scared.
However, one can enjoy the good memories from the past with their ex without wanting them back. In this case, context is very important and how many of the other signs they check off.
6. The admit breakup was a rash decision on their part
Some people end up breaking from the relationship after a heated argument. Even though it’s not something that comes from deep within. When we make rushed decisions, they’re most likely not grounded in our deepest truth.
In the spur of a moment, something can feel very true, but most often it is our minds that are influencing our decisions, making us believe something is good or bad for us.
While in reality, this might be different.
When the person making the decision has taken a good time out before they make their decision, it’s less likely that they will come back.
7. Your ex asks mutual friends about you
If your ex is asking your mutual friends or family about you, your relationship status, and how you’re doing, it means you’re still on top of their minds and they want to know it all about you.
This is a clear sign that you’re still important to them and they are still genuinely interested.
8. Your ex shows excessive interest in your love life
“Are you dating someone new?”, “Have you been with someone else?” “Are you in any romantic relationship?” Could be some of the questions that your ex asks you to keep a track on anything that happens regarding your love-life.
It’s because your ex is still thinking about chances to get back to you and if the door is still open.
9. Your ex tries to make you feel jealous
There are different ways that your ex might try to get your attention and make you feel jealous:
- Flaunting their new relationship or love interest on social media
They show off with their new “love” a little bit too much all over their social media. While they are projecting that they are happy, it’s just that your ex is just pretending to be over you by getting into rebound relationship.
- Going out of your way to look the best around your ex
They really put in a lot of effort to show their best looks and their best behavior when they are around you. It’s almost as if they are masking themselves to be the best version of themselves that they can be.
- Talking about your new life and accomplishments in front of your ex
They might be talking about how “good” their new life is and all the beautiful things that they’re doing just to make you feel how beautiful it could be to be with them.
10. Your ex drunk dials you
When your ex is all over you during their “drunk days”, it might be a clear sign your ex you back.
Alcohol has a unique way to override or boundaries that normally keep us safe from being too much when we’re in our normal day to day life as this article states.
Where we normally tend to hold everything in check, we now loosen up more, which could indicate that our truths and true emotions more easily flow through us.
11. Your ex is in a rebound relationship
You know how heart-broken your ex was when you just recently broke up and now, out of the blue, they’re in a new relationship with someone else.
You will never know for 100% sure if a relationship is true or not, but you can just sense and feel it in your gut when something feels like love and when it doesn’t.
When you have this gut feeling that something isn’t right and they just are in a rebound relationship to get over the pain and the heartbreak, this might be true.
11. Your ex still has your pictures on their social media
The hardest part of a break up is the part where you have to let go. If you keep holding on to the old.
The old memories, the old pictures, the old times together, you’re not letting go.
This is why if your ex keeps holding on to the pictures of you two together, they’re still holding on more than you think.
When we’re truly over someone, we would delete these things because it’s a clear and closed chapter for us.
12. Your ex maintains contact with your family and friends
In this scientific research it clearly states that if your ex is still doing their best to stay in contact with your friends, this is also a big indicator that they might still be more interested in you than you think.
This has also to do with the part of “letting go” that we described at point 12.
When we truly let go, we let go of everything and not letting go indicates that they’re not ready to truly let you go.
13. Your ex displays possessive behavior toward you
If your ex is still being overly protective and overly possessive towards you, trying to influence how you live your day to day or what you do or don’t do, is a clear indicator that they still feel like you belong to them.
When you two had a relationship this might have happened natural as a form of protection, but now you both have been separating, your ex still displays this behavior to control the uncontrollable.
14. They are always around you
If your ex is still frequently seeing you or showing up in the places where you are, interacting constantly with your social media here and there, they’re clearly still interested in your life.
Think about it for yourself. If you weren’t interested in someone at all, would you be on their social media, watching their stories, showing up in the places where they are? Not really, right?
15. Your ex brings up your beautiful past memories
They keep talking about the good times. About the memories that make their heart blossom open.
They keep you in the loop with them. They can’t seem to see something bad about you.
If they’re constantly bringing up the beauty of the past of the two of you, they have a good feeling about you. The chance that they want to get back to you, is much bigger in this way.
16. Your ex has not retrieved their belongings from your place
When someone isn’t ready to let go, they hold on. If your ex is still waiting to retrieve their belongings from your place, they’re holding on.
It can be that they’re still hoping that there comes a moment that the two of you come back together.
Your ex doesn’t want to make things final so he keeps procrastinating on retrieving his or her stuff.
Why would my EX want me back?
- They miss your presence and love and can’t find a better partner
One of the clearest and most obvious signs that your ex wants you back, is that they declared to you that they still miss you, they still miss your presence and that they haven’t been able to find a better partner.
You also have to be aware that they aren’t saying this because “they haven’t found something better” or that they didn’t date someone else, because their heart truly was still with you.
- They regret their decisions
When your ex comes back to you and expresses that they regret that they let you go, this is also a clear sign that your ex still loves you.
Let’s be real, when we break up with someone or part ways, we have a deep sense of inner knowing that says to us that “we made the right decision” and “it’s better this way.”
However, when we don’t make the right decision we will also know this, because it’s whispering inside us. It’s this nagging feeling that wants to return back. If your ex comes back with regret of past mistakes, it might be because of this.
- They are trying to hinder you from moving on from them
If your ex is always just around the corner with a text or a call and reacting on your instagram stories or other social media to just keep you in the “loop”.
These are all clear signs to make sure that they’re still on your mind.
However, be careful with this. Especially when you didn’t initiate the break up, having your ex so closely in your life, without them stating they come back full-power, might hurt you long term.
In this case, it’s totally okay to exercise clear boundaries.
- They want to check if there is a second chance for them and if this relationship will work this time
You might see this happening in the way they use their words, the way they approach you, the way their body language is opening towards you.
For example, they might ask you “Are you dating someone else?”, “How are you feeling towards me?” These are all clear signs that they haven’t been closing the door at all.
Besides this, there are some clear signs that absolutely show you that the attraction is still there when their body is still open towards you.
What to do if my ex wants me back?
What is the most important thing, is that you go with what feels right from inside. I believe that you should never wait for someone to come back to you if that person isn’t clearly stating that he or she wants you back.
Moving on when you don’t have the complete clarity and only mixed signals, is always a good idea.
Focus on your own path until you know for 1000% sure that someone is willing to take the leap with you.
If you can cross almost all the boxes and your gut feeling is saying your ex wants this, it’s okay to leave the door open and not completely close it if this feels right for you.
However, you shouldn’t close the door for other potential partners and for yourself either.
You should always open the door for yourself, go for what makes your heart move in life and from that place, trust that everything that needs to be in your life, will be there.
No doubt about it.
Sometimes people come into our lives for a reason. They teach us something and they show us a new perspective, a new truth about ourselves.
Going back to what we have known, might be the easiest choice, but at the same time it can also be re-reading a story, a chapter, that we already know how it would end.
Even though there might still be love, this doesn’t always indicate that the two of you should go back together. Especially not if there was a lot of turmoil and error.
If you feel that your ex is truly willing to look at her or himself in the mirror, working on their issues and shows growth and affection towards you, willing to make the relationship work, you can always give it a try.
Just make sure that you don’t let the loneliness or emptiness from someone else drive you back to a place you don’t belong.
You will find your way. Remember that.