11 Signs Your Ex is Waiting for You to Come Back

Have you experienced a breakup recently and are wondering whether your ex is waiting for you? 

Breakups can be extremely challenging, and it can feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself when your partner suddenly goes away. 

Strong connections don’t just vanish, so it’s normal to remember the happy moments you had with your ex and still want them back in your life.

A breakup doesn’t have to be a definite end of a relationship , and it’s common for people to get back together even after breaking up numerous times. 

Months or years can pass before you let go and move on, and a window of opportunity for fixing things and reconciliation often remains open.

11 Signs Your Ex Is Waiting for You:

1. Your ex contacts you and initiates communication

If your ex suddenly contacts you and initiates communication, they’ve probably started missing you and are waiting for you to change your decision about the breakup.

Watch out for unhealthy communication patterns like constant blame, sarcasm or contempt, jumping to conclusions, or silent treatment.

2. They haven’t taken back their stuff

Your ex can leave things at your place or fail to return yours, not because they forgot about them but because they want something that connects you two. 

It can provide a sense of emotional security and can be a sign that they’re waiting to see what you’ll do or have a reason to visit or contact you again.

3. Your ex seems to “accidentally” bump into you frequently

Your ex likely knows all your spots, and they’re likely engineering ways to bump into you by visiting places you frequently go at times when you’re most likely to be there so they can get a chance to talk to you and possibly win you back.

If your ex bumps into your frequently, it’s a sing your ex is waiting for you to get back together with them.

4. They still follow you on social media

If your ex still follows you on social media, they likely want to stay updated on your life because they still care and want to ensure you haven’t moved on. 

They can try to get your attention on social media if you’ve blocked their phone, and it’s the only way to establish contact.

5. They share heartbroken/sad stories on their profile

If your ex shares sad or heartbroken stories and cryptic quotes related to mistakes or breakups on their profile, they’re indirectly trying to tell you they’re not over you yet. 

Their posts can be gloomy, and they can even post love quotes that your mutual friends can see so they can inform you.

6. They speak positively about you to others

If your ex still talks about you, they’re likely still into you.

It can include saying good things about you to your mutual friends, meaning their perspective about you hasn’t changed. 

If they didn’t want you around any longer, they likely wouldn’t praise you to others.

They also know your mutual friends are likely to share the conversation with you so they want to hurt their chances of reconciliation.

7. They are still not seeing anybody

If it’s been months or a year since your breakup, and your ex is still not seeing anybody, it’s a good sign your ex is waiting for you. 

They likely don’t want to do anything with anyone else and don’t want to cause any additional issues or upsets that could stand in the way of you two getting back together.

For the time being, they don’t want anybody else in their love life so their dating life is went for the toss.

8. They ask you to be friends again

If your ex asks you to be friends again, they likely want to stay in your life in any way they can. 

That way, they can secretly work on you to win you back by being the person you fell in love with, or they want to ensure they’re there if you change your mind or start to miss them.

9. They have asked you or your friends about your dating life

If your ex wants to know about your relationship status, they’re likely waiting to get back together. 

They can ask many questions about your plans or what’s going on in your life to try and determine whether there’s someone new in the picture and how close you are so they can assess their chances.

10. Your ex asks to meet up

If your ex is eager to meet up with you and hang out over coffee, it’s an obvious sign your ex misses you. It also shows that your ex is waiting for you to show some signs of feelings towards them,

They may not admit it but can make all kinds of excuses to see you and try to win you back or stay close to you.

11. They have admitted their mistakes

If you ever had a conversation with your ex and they have acknowledged their mistakes that played part in the breakup then it’s one of the biggest signs you ex is waiting for you.

It means they might be thinking of putting genuine effort to not repeat same mistakes and give you signal that they are still inetrested in you.

12. Your gut feeling is telling you

You know your ex-partner more than anyone else and can read them in many ways. 

Your gut feeling or intuition can tell you if there’s still some connection, love, chemistry, or passion between you and your ex.

If that’s the case it’s strong sign your ex is waiting for you. 

You can also check for body language, like prolonged hugging or blushing.

Should You Even Wait for Your Ex to Come Back?

Sometimes it’s worth waiting for your ex to come back, but you must ensure you’re doing it for the right reasons. 

If there are no serious issues like abuse in the relationship, and you care about each other, a second chance at a successful relationship can work. 

However, you must be honest with yourself and examine your motives. Learning more about how heartbreak can make you feel can help determine whether you want your ex to return for valid reasons.

Research shows that around 40-50% of ex-couples reconcile after a breakup, so if you recently broke up with your girlfriend or boyfriend but regret it, there may still be a chance that your ex also wants to get back together and is waiting for you to make a move. 

However, it’s crucial to consider your needs first and avoid self-criticism or thinking there’s no hope of going forward without them.

Personal growth after a breakup can ensure the healing process is faster and smoother and put you in a better position to handle whatever comes next.

You must be cautious and avoid obsessing when considering whether your ex is waiting for you because it may not always be the case or the best decision for you. 

This guide explores whether you should wait for your ex to come back, possible signs that they’re waiting for you, and some considerations for making the best decision.

A) Is Love an Addiction? Understanding The Neurochemistry of a Heartbreak

Love is one of the most powerful addictions, and when you’re in love, a flood of feel-good brain chemicals, like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, are released. 

Studies to determine the obsessive behavior associated with love found that when you experience heartbreak, your brain loses the regular supply of these neurotransmitters. 

As a result, you experience a kind of withdrawal every time you think about your ex, complete with cravings to be reunited with them.

Your brain can experience a state of acute wanting from powerful withdrawal symptoms after a breakup, making it difficult to focus on anything else and impacting your ability to think and function. 

It can be argued that the urge to get back with your ex is hardwired and stems from unconscious activities in your brain, so even if you know your ex isn’t right for you, you still experience a huge craving to be with them.

A romantic loss also follows a similar trajectory to other forms of grief and can include stages like denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. 

Depending on how invested you were in the relationship, you can experience certain or all stages or skip them altogether.

A heartbreak can put you in a state of shock because our brains process social pain similarly to physical pain, and you may experience an initial denial stage as a self-protective reaction. 

Accepting that you’re not getting back together can be too painful for your brain to process, and you may find yourself distorting reality to shield yourself from the pain. 

These can include seeing what you want to see and reading into your ex’s final actions or words to decipher them as signs that your relationship hasn’t ended.

You may also experience a rough grief stage of bargaining where you’re willing to do anything to get back with your ex. 

Sometimes the loss of a relationship can be so unbearable that you go to absurd lengths to try to recover or hold on to what was in some way despite what happened. 

Such attempts can seem like a good idea at the moment, but you’ll likely feel ashamed and regretful in the future, so it’s wise to have a balanced outlook to avoid acting on your impulses and going to extremes.

B) Importance of Personal Growth and Self-Improvement Post-Breakup:

Many people feel worthless after a breakup, which can harm their physical and mental well-being. 

A person’s sense of self-worth usually takes the most brutal hit after a breakup, and you may start to blame yourself as the cause of the rejection. 

You may question everything from your personality to your physical appearance and start finding new flaws, negatively impacting your life, career, and those who still love you.

However, focusing on personal growth and self-improvement post-breakup can help you heal and recover from your melancholy, overcome stress and depression, and help you love yourself again. 

Some actions you can take include:

  • Practicing new activities – A new activity can be a productive and uplifting process that can divert your mind and help you stop thinking about your ex and past.
  • Self-care – Caring for yourself is critical for healing and regaining your sense of self. It can be as simple as routine habits like brushing your teeth, bathing, going to therapy, and hanging out with friends or family.

C) Common Reasons for Considering Getting Back Together and the need for careful consideration.

  • Lingering Feelings

Evidence shows that lingering feelings are one of the most commonly cited reasons for rekindling a romantic relationship after a breakup. 

Love doesn’t just end after a breakup, and if you’re not over each other, you may find yourself looking for ways to get back together.

  • Loneliness

You may feel lonely for days, weeks, months, or even years after a breakup. Reconciling with your ex can feel like the only solution for companionship, and you can even convince yourself that it outweighs the reasons for the split.

  • New Insight

You may start to see your ex in a new light after some time, especially if you’ve both changed and matured or gone through experiences that make you well-suited for each other.

  • Regret

Sudden breakups in the heat of the moment can be a regrettable mistake, and ex-partners can get back together if they believe they shouldn’t have broken up in the first place.

Careful consideration is warranted when thinking about why you want to get back with your ex because sometimes we form physiological attachments where the idea of being with someone is more appealing than the actual person. 

Take a balanced, objective look at your reasons and think long and hard about whether getting back together is worth it before jumping back in.

Should I Talk to My Ex or Stay Away?

Various factors can influence whether or not you should talk to your ex. 

For example, if you broke up because of unhealthy patterns, abusive behavior, or infidelity, you may want to stay apart, but if it was a mutually respectful parting and you both have strong feelings for each other, talking to your ex may not be a bad idea.

If you’ve already healed from the breakup, regained your confidence, and figured out how to fix what was broken in your relationship, reaching out and talking to your ex can help you to build a new healthy relationship slowly. 

Some questions you can ask yourself when making your decision include the following:

  • Did your relationship end well or poorly?
  • Has enough time gone by to heal from the breakup and work on yourself?
  • What are your reasons for reaching out?
  • What do you hope to gain from reaching out?
  • Is your safety assured?
  • Is it healthy to reach out?
  • Are you prepared for a negative reaction or rejection?
  • Is loneliness the only reason you’re reaching out?
  • Are there other things you can do to get similar emotions?
  • Will your current situation improve if you talk to your ex?

Consider all possible outcomes before reaching out and talking to your ex to ensure you don’t get embarrassed or hurt. 

You may face unpleasant consequences, especially if your ex hasn’t changed and still has the same behavior or attributes that made you break up in the first place.

What Should You Do?

A) Prioritize your own emotional well-being

Ensure you’re truthful about what you need to be happy in a relationship. What are your expectations and the qualities you want from your partner? 

Pay attention to your feelings and needs, and be clear about your expectations. 

Was there something missing before that your partner can fulfill this time? 

Be open and honest, and ensure you don’t make pleasing your partner more important than pleasing yourself.

B) Reflect on the past relationship: lessons learned, and red flags

Evaluate how your last relationship ended, how your ex made you feel, and whether you trust them now. What lessons did you learn, and will things be different if you get back together? 

Ensure you address old issues and pay attention to any red flags to avoid old problems and fights in the future.

C) Set and maintain boundaries

Boundaries can help maintain a healthy balance between you and your ex and set a precedent on what you expect from each other. 

These include rules, guidelines, or limits that dictate reasonable, permissible, and safe ways for your ex to behave around you and how you’ll respond if they step outside those boundaries. 

Healthy boundaries allow you to maintain self-respect and self-esteem while ensuring an equal partnership where power and responsibility are shared.

D) Healthy ways to communicate your feelings and concerns

Ensure you can communicate your concerns and feelings in a compassionate, respectful, and understanding manner. 

Listening to each other and maintaining respect is vital to a successful union, and it can make your new relationship healthier and stronger.

E) Seek professional help if needed

Professional help like therapy can help you get an outside opinion and allow you to talk to a neutral third party about the reasons for your breakup. 

It can help you address the issues to move forward and start anew or give you insightful realizations that benefit your ultimate decision.


Signs like your ex contacting you, leaving their belongings, bumping into you frequently, still following you on social media, speaking positively about you, remaining single, and asking about you and your relationship status can show that your ex is waiting for you to return. 

However, a balanced interpretation and ensuring you make decisions based on your emotional well-being and personal growth are vital to avoid disappointments and heartache. 

Clear communication is essential to ensure you and your ex are on the same page, and you should only consider getting back together if your self-love and self-respect aren’t compromised.  

Should I Get Back With My Ex


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Jayme Wium
About Jayme Wium

Jayme is a certified relationship & communications Counselor and a professional writer with 13 years of experience. She lives in the United Kingdom with her Daxies, reading and writing as much as her free time will allow.

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