21 Signs She Doesn’t Want a Relationship with You

Does she want to be your girlfriend or not?

You’ve been talking with her for a while now. Maybe you two went on a date or two and things were going great. But lately, her behavior has changed. 

You have the feeling that she doesn’t want to take things to the next level with you.

How can you be sure, though? 

If you can’t trust your judgment due to your feelings for her, you can count on me. 

I’ve put together a list of 21 undeniable things that any woman who is NOT interested in a relationship does and doesn’t do.

Even if you don’t have a special girl in mind right now, keep the following signs in mind. They’ll shed light on any girl’s intentions with you. 

21 Signs She Doesn’t Want a Relationship with You

1. She doesn’t compliment you or flirt with you

The first indication a woman isn’t interested is when she doesn’t compliment you or flirt with you.

But what if she’s shy?

Regardless of how shy a woman is, she will still find ways to slip a compliment in your conversations or attempt to make eye contact with you even if it’s just for 2 seconds. 

Maybe she won’t be daring enough to make physical contact with you or confident enough to draw all attention to herself. However, she will find a way. 

If the girl you have in mind stopped complimenting you and doesn’t flirt with you anymore, it could mean that she’s lost her interest and doesn’t want a serious relationship with you.

2. She is not physically affectionate with you

To get a better grasp of if she’s interested or not, watch what she does with her body.

In case she wants you to be her boyfriend, she will become physically affectionate with you. 

She will also display certain body language signs that give her away.

I am talking about mirroring you, sitting/standing close to you, leaning in when talking to you, and so on.

However, if she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, she won’t do any of the above. Or, in case she changes her mind, she will simply stop.

Here’s a fun fact: People make eye contact as a result of their desire to feel closer to someone and because that person sparks their interest.

3. She never talks about the future with you

When a girl doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship with you, she will avoid any talks about the future together. 

She won’t make plans with you (or she will, but cancel them last minute) and she won’t commit to anything either. 

Even if she feels this way, she won’t tell you directly, that’s for sure. I know, that’s not fair play at all, but that’s how women are. The sooner you accept this, the better.

To avoid making plans with you, she could tell you things like…

  • … That’s two months from now. I have no idea what I’m going to do then.
  • … I think you should definitely go, but don’t count on me being there.
  • … I can’t think about going on vacation right now.
  • … I don’t like that… You should go with your friends.

To automatically exclude you from her future plans, she could say…

  • … My girlfriends and I will spend the weekend together.
  • … My parents are in town and I don’t know how long they’ll be here.
  • … My weekends are full for the next half a year.
  • … I never make plans. I go with the flow.

4. She doesn’t hang out with you alone

Look, if a woman doesn’t want to get involved in a romantic relationship with you, she won’t hang out with you alone. 

She will not give you any opportunity to get close to her and increase the intimacy between the two of you. 

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That’s why, she will either cancel the plans you made or bring other people along, such as her friends, coworkers, or schoolmates. 

In case you two already spent time alone and now she avoids that, the message is clear: she doesn’t see your as a boyfriend material. 

Maybe she didn’t feel comfortable in your presence or she didn’t feel any chemistry. Either way, she didn’t like something and now she’s pulling away.

5. She no longer initiates conversations with you

Did you scare her away?

If a girl used to initiate conversations with you and now stopped, she clearly doesn’t want things to progress between the two of you. 

Who knows, maybe she realized that things were getting serious and she is not ready for that. Or, it could be your fault.

However, that’s not really important. What is though is to remember that a big sign of attraction is when a girl calls you or texts you first.

Unless the ball is in your court now and she’s waiting for you to approach her, I’m afraid that she is losing interest in you.

6. She treats you like a close friend

Be honest: Did she friend-zone you and now you’re hoping she will change her mind?

I hate to break it to you, but guys hardly ever get out of the friend zone. If a woman sees you as a friend, you’ve lost the battle. 

She might like you as a person and that’s why she treats you like a close friend. But, she definitely doesn’t like you in a romantic way. 

In general, most women are pretty friendly. However, if they feel attracted to you, they’ll do more. They’ll try to up their game, not treat you like other guys she calls “friends,” right?

7. She doesn’t take an interest in your life

If your crush doesn’t ask you questions about yourself or your life then it’s safe to assume that your crush doesn’t like you or at least is not interested in you romantically. 

If you have a specific girl in mind, give this some thought.

Try to remember whether she wanted to find out something personal about you or she kept talking about herself. 

Is it the latter? Then you should consider letting her go. 

When you’ll meet a woman who wants to be your girlfriend, you’ll know. She’ll have tons of questions to ask about your life, your passions, and your beliefs. 

She won’t keep things superficial, which brings me to the next point.

8. She is not interested in having deep talks

You can test a woman’s romantic curiosity in you by bringing up serious topics. You can talk to her about spirituality, religion, and your views on politics.

Or, you can talk about anything that you’re passionate about; something that requires a more in-depth conversation.

If she’s not in the mood to listen to you and always tries to cut these types of discussions short, you have to face the truth.

She agrees with everything you have to say because she doesn’t want to get involved in anything serious with you – not even in a serious talk.

9. She doesn’t make you a priority anymore

If you were a woman’s priority before, but you no longer are, something must’ve happened. It’s a clear sign she doesn’t want to take things further with you (anymore). 

Is it something you did?

In case you’re aware that something happened, but you’re unsure whether it’s a deal breaker or not, read between the lines. 

When a woman changes her behavior with you, it could mean lots of things such as:

  • Something else is going on in her life
  • She is no longer interested in you
  • She is not ready for a serious relationship
  • You did something to push her away
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This sign also applies in general. If you don’t make it on a girl’s priority list, she probably doesn’t want to take things to the next level with you.

10. She avoids you for days in a row

Another very easy-to-notice sign, this one refers to how long it takes for her to respond to your messages or call you back. 

Good news: She replies quite fast, depending on how busy she is.

Bad news: She replies after many hours or even days.

Worst news: She ghosts you.

Unless the woman on your mind is crazy busy, working as a surgeon or something serious like that, your chances with her are thin.

If they weren’t, she would’ve tried her best to communicate with you constantly.

11. She talks about her ex-boyfriend too much

The next impossible-to-miss sign is when a woman talks about her ex-boyfriend too much. 

Want to know why?

It clearly indicates that she’s not over him. It also shows that she sees you as a friend. 

And all of these point to an inevitable conclusion: She doesn’t want to get romantically involved with you.

This applies to any woman in your life. Trust me, we don’t like to talk about our exes. If we do it, it clearly means that we didn’t let them go.

And if that’s true, it means we are not ready to build a healthy romantic connection with someone else. 

12. She often cancels plans she previously agreed on

Why would a girl say “yes” to going out with you, only to cancel later?

In this case, maybe she is keeping you as a backup option, or she doesn’t have it in her to refuse you. 

Either way, this points to the fact that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. 

Here’s what she could say:

  • I can’t make it to… I have a horrible headache.
  • I just remembered I have to work on something. I have to stay at work late.
  • Something came up and I won’t be able to come to…
  • I’m not feeling well and I have a lot on my mind. I’m not in the mood to come.
  • I’m going to miss… again. Sorry!

13. She doesn’t ask you personal questions

Any woman with the slightest intention to be in a relationship with you will ask you personal questions. 

If she doesn’t do it, you have to accept the fact that she doesn’t care. She’s not even curious to ask, so what do you think?

I know this may be a hard pill to swallow for you. But, let’s look at things from another perspective:

Now that you know this information, you won’t waste any more time on women who are not even curious about you. 

14. She tells you that her top priority is her career

Just as you have a list of priorities in life, so does every woman you’ll ever meet. 

This is basically a good thing because it says a lot about her personality. However, it’s not good for you if her love life is not a priority for her. 

In case a woman tells you that she is mainly focused on her career, she is indirectly telling you that she doesn’t want a relationship – not with you or with anybody else.

15. She doesn’t make prolonged eye contact with you

The next clear sign you should look out for is this: She doesn’t make prolonged eye contact with you. 

As you probably know, eye contact is essential in the process of attraction. It indicates a person’s desire to connect on multiple levels. 

However, if a woman doesn’t do that with you, if she doesn’t hold your gaze, this clearly shows that she’s not as into you as you might want her to be. 

16. She uses dating apps and she’s not hiding it

If a woman uses dating apps when she knows you see her, then you don’t need to look for more signs. 

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This gesture alone is enough for you to draw a conclusion. Of course, there is an exception: When she wants to make you jealous. 

However, if you notice that a girl does this even after you see each other a couple of times, then you should take it as a sign and back off – she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.

She wouldn’t be on a dating app if she weren’t looking for other guys, right?

17. She reaches out to you when she needs your help

Is she serious about you?

If she only reaches out to you when she needs help, then the answer is NO.

But why does she do it?

Men’s lifestyle YouTuber Courtney Ryan explains the female perspective on this one really well:

“If a girl is only texting you when she needs something, she needs a favor, she needs you to help her move, she needs you to drive her somewhere – this is a horrible sign, guys. She probably knows that you like her, and she just wants to use you for your time, your effort, and your energy.”

In other words, if a girl is constantly asking for your help without giving anything in return, take it as a warning sign! She might be using you.

18. She’s not interested in meeting the people closest to you

If you ever had a girlfriend before, then you know that at some point, she wanted you to meet her parents and friends. 

Maybe you wanted that as well, and you also introduced her to your friends and family. 

However, when a woman refuses to get more involved in your life and meet the closest people to you or expresses her disinterest, she does it with a reason.

She simply doesn’t want to commit to being your girlfriend. She’s happy with the way things already are.

19. She doesn’t acknowledge your efforts

When you do something for a girl and she barely notices, run! 

A woman who doesn’t acknowledge your efforts won’t ever give you the attention and importance you’re looking for. 

This is a sign that the thought of being together with you didn’t cross her mind. Or it did, but she clearly didn’t like it.

20. She doesn’t ask for your opinion or advice

Communication is a very crucial part for a healthy relationship. Couples usually ask each other for advice and barely make decisions without consulting each other. 

So, whenever you meet a woman who doesn’t get you involved in her life or asks you what you think about something before making a decision about it, know that she doesn’t want to share her life with you.

She is perfectly fine without being in a relationship and she’s not planning on changing that if she behaves like that.

21. She barely smiles or fakes smiles often

  • Does she smile when she sees you?
  • Does she laugh at your jokes?
  • Does she think you’re a funny guy?

If so, then you might have a chance with this woman! However, if she doesn’t, then you two might want different things. 

I have to remind you this: The more a person smiles, the better she feels. But if she doesn’t smile, or smiles in a fake way, then what’s the meaning of that?

She’s not enjoying herself and she probably doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.


You don’t wanna be spending time with a girl that has no interest in you. While the idea of winning someone over may sound exciting and fun but more ofter than not it doesn’t help.

However, if you want a relationship with her then you should have a honest conversation with her. You should let her know about your true feelings.

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

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