Does my ex want me back or did my ex move on?
Is it fair enough to keep my hopes up or should I throw everything out of the window?
There is almost nothing more painful than going through a break up. Especially if you aren’t sure anymore if your ex wants you back or that they moved on.
What is especially important to consider first, is that you need time for your healing before you can allow someone else back into your life that broke the bond that you both had.
The personal growth that comes from allowing a break up to crack your heart open and turn the pain into power, is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
That’s why it’s always a good idea to first care for your own feelings and your own needs before you’re thinking about truly reconciling with your ex. If that’s an option anyway.
If you have been past this phase and you’re still looking for the signs if your ex wants you back but won’t admit it, then keep on reading! This article has it all.
How Do You Know if Your Ex Wants You Back but Won’t Admit It?
It’s not always easy to understand if your ex wants you back or is just trying to be kind, especially when the break up has been very chaotic and painful.
There is a big chance that one or both of the ex-partners isn’t willing to fully put their hearts on the table again, because of the hurt that it gave them last time.
That doesn’t mean that there aren’t some clear signs that are clearly indicating that your ex might be more interested in you again than you think.
If you follow the signs below and you can checkmark some or a lot of them, this might be a clear indicator that your ex is still interested in you and in coming back!
Now, let’s gain clarity if your ex still wants you back and won’t admit it. And remember: always follow your intuition when we go through the signs below.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Answering the question: “Should I get back with my ex?” is never an easy question. In some cases you both have changed a lot and reconciliation might be closer on the horizon.
For some the “get back together with an ex” idea is far from the table, even though after all, your hopes can be high of getting together again.
What is most important is to reflect on the reasons why your ex and you separated and what made that relationship end in the first place.
If you both are too different in what you want out of life and how you are as personalities, which causes a lot of fights, getting back together might only cause the same troubles again.
If the both of you have shown great capacity for change and it was never about the love you both had for each other, but more about the challenges you encounter, this is a good sign.
If you’re both willing to be honest, open for change and growth, still have love for each other and you know for sure that they are open for reconciliation, this is a very good starting point.
What is important is to take a close look at the following signs to really get the clarity if there is potential to reconcile with your ex or that you should forget them and move on.
15 Signs Your Ex Is Becoming Interested Again
1.Your ex has started contacting you again
Suddenly out of the blue your ex starts to contact you again. They might send you a text-message to check up on you and what you’re doing.
They might have at first unfollowed you on social media, but now suddenly they start to follow you again. They might even start to like your posts and your stories.
Besides this, they frequently start to call you to ask you “How things are going?” which sounds very innocent but when done frequently, is also a clear indicator that they might secretly want you back.
2. Your ex is interacting with your social media accounts
If your ex at first was hidden in the shadows on social media but now suddenly is more connected to your posts than ever before, this is a clear indicator that they’re trying to stay on top of your mind.
This is the only way that they can stay in contact with you and let their presence be known without directly contacting you through text or calling. Which is less vulnerable for them.
3. You’re receiving mixed signals
If you have been breaking up but your ex is still sending out mixed signals which make you question them, chances are big that they are fighting their own feelings, too.
At first they might not show it very clearly in their contact with you but if they constantly give out mixed signals, chances are that they are more on your mind than you might believe you are.
Because, let’s be honest: If you aren’t interested in your ex at all, would you send out mixed signals towards him? I don’t think so.
4. Your ex brings up the past memories
When you’re in contact with your ex and they keep dwelling in the beautiful memories of the past that you both had together, it’s obvious that you left a positive footprint in their hearts.
If they keep pulling you back together with them, they might be trying to show you how nice it is to be together and influence you for the better.
If this sounds like your ex, it might be that they won’t immediately admit it, but chances are that they love you more than you think.
5. Your ex still wants to sleep with you
This is one of the most obvious signs. No one wants to sleep with their ex if they aren’t genuinely interested in getting back with them.
This would be too complex to do and if there aren’t any genuine feelings, what is the sense of it anyway. Would you go back to your ex and have a sleep-over if you were simply done with them?
6. Your ex casually asks you to hang out together
As Gabriel Brenner tells in this blogpost, before his ex turned into his wife, he tried to hang out with her a lot more than just as “casual friends”.
He said: “We broke up and are no longer in a relationship, but do you wanna hang out and grab coffee together, just the TWO OF US?”.
If this sounds like your ex, they constantly want to meet at your favorite place, watch the movie you both like, visit things together and post all kind of pictures with you,
they might still have interest in you.
7. Your ex is interested in your dating life
If your ex keeps asking you the questions: “How is your dating life going?”, “Are you seeing someone new?”, “Have you been going out with someone?”, “Are you still alone?”
This is a very clear indicator that you’re still on top of their mind. If they just ask it one time it’s a different story,
But if it seems like your ex is constantly on it with their questions, then you can consider this as a clear sign that they won’t immediately admit it, but definitely have more feelings for you.
8. Your ex shows jealousy when you mention someone else
Would you be jealous of someone if you don’t want to have what they have? You wouldn’t, right?
Would you be jealous of your ex if you wouldn’t have feelings for him? You wouldn’t, right?
If someone gets jealous of you when you mention someone else, your ex clearly shows that they have some unfinished business to look at when it comes down to you.
9. Your ex drunk calls or texts you
In this research from Rehabs, it clearly states that “When drinking alcohol, the tongue is freed up to say exactly what is in a person’s heart.”
If your ex is calling or texting you while they’re drunk, you’re definitely in their heart and now they come from a place where they might be more honest with you than when they aren’t influenced.
Alcohol makes you more free to speak your heart openly without any borders that, in normal life, protect us.
10. Your ex is curious about your feelings towards them
Instead of talking about the superficial things, your ex seems to fish more towards what you’re actually feeling about them and about the relationship.
They might drop questions like “How do you look towards me right now?” and “How do you look towards us?”. These can be small hints that point towards a feeling of wanting to reconcile.
11. Your ex keeps bringing up that they are single
If they are constantly bringing up that they are “alone” and “single, ready to mingle” and it’s obvious and very clear that they are open for something new, this might be a clear hint for you to pick up on.
However, with this one be careful and consider also the other signs to be sure that your ex isn’t just in a very good mood and doesn’t consider you as an option.
It can also be that they just feel free to share this with you.
12. Your ex tries to flirt with you
We can’t say no more words about this one. One of the most obvious signs if your ex is wanting you back which isn’t so “secretly” is if your ex is flirting with you.
Giving you compliments, making you feel special, always trying to make some sort of a move to make you feel that you’re important.
If this sounds like your ex, they might want to be closer to you than you think!
13. Your ex frequently brings up past experiences
If your ex frequently talks about your past experiences and shows you that they have changed, that they understand what they could’ve done differently, this is a clear sign that they take you very seriously.
If someone isn’t genuinely interested in you, or is hoping to get back together with you, they wouldn’t put in any effort to reflect and see what they could’ve done differently.
An ex being in love with you, definitely would show effort in making the changes necessary in his actions to become the person that is able to love you better.
14. They make their friends spy on you
Have you ever had friends of your ex start to show up in all the places where you go? possibly even asking you all kinds of questions that don’t seem to come from a genuine place?
Chances are that they are just on the spy to get some information from you. Your ex might even “hire” their friends to keep an eye on you and see if there is still hope for the two of you!
If the friends of your ex are showing up everywhere and it doesn’t feel “right”, be assured that there might be more beneath the table here than you think!
As with all the signs, trust your gut feeling! It just knows.
15. Your ex is on their best behavior when around you
They are opening the doors for you, they are overly polite and caring towards you, they are very interested in you and listening, you can just feel that they are putting in more effort than you’re used to.
Your ex is obviously trying to impress you and show off his or her amazing sides.
If your ex is showing up in his or her most beautiful clothes or in their sloggy jogging pants, this is a clear sign that they might still be trying to get a shot with you!
Of course, if they look like they just came out of bed with no effort at all, then there is your clear sign, too! They don’t care.
After we’ve discussed all of the signs, hopefully you now have a lot more clarity on the topic if your ex is becoming interested in you again.
Getting back together with your ex can be a great decision or a terrible one.
What is most important is that you feel into your unique situation and if your ex is really worth it to come back with because they have truly changed or that your love-story is a chapter closed.
A lot of the time we have been closing a chapter because it isn’t serving us anymore.
Starting the chapter over hoping it’s different this time around, might be a win but it can also open the same wounds over and over.
The big question is: Is it truly worth it to go there?
After reading the article together with your gut feeling, only YOU know the answer.
Always try to reconsider the reasons that you both have been breaking up and whether those issues truly have been tackled or your ex and you have just stayed the same.
If both parties are truly willing to do the work and become the best versions of themselves and meet each other in the middle, this might be a good sign for you to reconcile.
If it feels like your partner hasn’t done any type of work on himself and you don’t feel it completely to get back, it’s better to stay away.
Your mental health is more important than anything else.