13 Signs He Secretly Loves You: (Psychology Based)

Do you have a gut feeling that your crush loves secretly ?

know the constant guessing can drive you crazy

Personally, I think that approaching him and simply asking him whether he likes you or not is the best way to go. 

However, if you’re not 100% sure, you could get yourself into an embarrassing situation. That’s why, it would be best to remove any trace of doubt before confronting him.


Regardless of how hard a man tries to conceal his feelings for you, there are still ways to find out if he’s got his heart set on you. 

As follows, I’ll share with you 13 signs he secretly loves you secretly.

Pay special attention to #9 – it’s a body language cue that will point you in the right direction. 

Let’s get started!

13 Subtle Signs He Secretly Loves You

Part A: Personal indicators

1. He Asks Thoughtful Questions to Get to Know the Real You

One telling sign of genuine interest is if he asks you open-ended questions and follows up to dig deeper. He wants to move beyond the surface-level small talk to form an emotional bond.

Rather than just asking flirty, superficial questions about preferences like favorite movies or music, notice if he inquires about your passions, values, dreams and aspirations.

A man who loves you will be curious about what makes you tick.

He’ll ask thoughtful questions around your hobbies, childhood memories, future goals and deep feelings.

This thoughtful questioning shows he wants to understand you holistically – not just casual chatting.

Don’t downplay his interest if the conversation feels one-sided. A man falling in love wants you to open up so he can connect with your spirit. His desire to discover the real you gives away his true heart.

2. He comes up with reasons to talk to you and see you

When you’re in love with someone, what do you desire?

To be as close to that person as possible, right?

In their attempt to analyze what happens inside the human brain when people feel attracted to each other, the scientists discovered fascinating biochemical facts.

They discovered that simply thinking about the person we love releases a certain amount of dopamine in our brains. 

And since dopamine is a feel-good chemical, we want more and more of it.

Is that your guy’s case?

Yes, it is, if ..

  • He frequently finds reasons to call or text to ask you for your opinion about something.
  • He often sends you funny videos or memes or links to various articles or products.
  • He comes up with reasons to see you in person and do various things together with you.

3. He tries to impress you

If his affection for you runs deep, I dare to say that he might go out of his way to make a good impression on you.

You see, if he’s planning to confess his love for you at some point, he knows that he has to draw your attention first. 

Maybe he is already prepping the ground for the big day – when he finally gathers the courage to ask you out on a real date.


Here are a few examples:

  • He draws attention to himself by joking with others, highlighting his humorous side.
  • He makes sure he always looks good and smells good when you see him.
  • He surprises you in different ways and gives you thoughtful gifts.

4. He is always available For help you when you need Help

Another sign a guy secretly loves you is when he doesn’t hesitate to lend you a helping hand. If that’s the case, he won’t even wait for you to ask.

Think about what he does when you complain about something. Does he react immediately, looking for ways to help you?

His feelings for you could determine him to make himself useful to you. The same may happen if you ask for his help. 

A man’s willingness to make an effort for a woman is almost never selfless.

To be more precise, this guy wouldn’t help you with anything if he didn’t think there was something in it for him as well.

For example, it’s unlikely for him to change his schedule and help you out simply because he’s a nice guy. 

I’m not saying he’s not a nice guy. He probably is. At the same time, his actions could be driven by his feelings for you.

5. He remembers even the smallest details about you

I touched earlier on the feel-good chemical called dopamine that our brains release in various love and attraction-related situations.

Well… it’s the same chemical that helps him remember even even the tiniest details about you. How so?

When his brain is flooded with dopamine, he feels more energetic, he needs less sleep and less food than usual, and so on.

On top of that, his memory improves a lot.

But, there’s a catch: He won’t be able to remember everything about everyone because he only cares about you.

How can you tell for sure?

Just listen to him talk. If he talks about your likes and dislikes as if you’ve known each other for a long time, that’s solid proof of his feelings for you.

Part B: Social indicators

6. He gives you his undivided attention

The American Psychological Association conducted a study about the influence of smartphones on the health of romantic relationships.

They wanted to learn just how much using a smartphone makes or breaks such relationships. What do you think they found?

Although using a smartphone can be beneficial to couples because it helps them keep in touch easily throughout the day, it actually has more negative effects than you imagine. 

Couples who admitted to using their smartphones while spending time together reported higher relationship dissatisfaction than others.

Whether your guy knows this or not, if he puts his phone away when you’re around and pays full attention to you, that’s a social indicator he secretly loves you.

7. His friends tease him when you hang out

To his friends, his love for you might not be a secret.

It’s highly likely they know what he feels about you and that’s why they might tease him a little when you show up.

Guys will be guys, no matter how serious things get. So, watch out for this sign! 

If they giggle and give him a gentle push to get closer to you, things are pretty clear. They’re encouraging him to make a move on you. 

Or, they might act as wingmen for him and invite you to do various activities together in his name.

Who knows, maybe you two are talking and the next thing you hear is one of his friends telling him, “Kiss her already!”

8. He gives you special attention during group get-togethers

Is he secretly crushing on you?

Maybe so, especially if he pays special attention to you while hanging one with more people. 

If he singles you out in a group, it means he wants to spend at least a few intimate moments with you. 

Ways to do that are:

  • He asks you one or more direct questions. 
  • He replies to the things you say.
  • He takes the conversation further.
  • He looks at you while you talk.
  • He laughs at almost every joke you make.

These are all signs he wants to deepen the connection between the two of you by finding more things about you and engaging you in conversation.

Part C: Body language indicators

9. He gets physically close to you whenever he can

Watch out for his body language!

It can be a powerful indicator of his feelings for you. 

Most often than not, people in love aren’t aware of the various ways their body language gives them away.

So, to be one step ahead of him, remember whether he…

  • … leans in closer to you when you talk
  • … removes objects that are between you and him
  • … mirrors your gestures and/or actions
  • … sits close to you or walks beside you
  • … lightly brushes his body against yours

Did you answer “yes” to all of the above?

If so, it means that he feels an irresistible attraction to you and wants to be close to you. 

10. He touches, scratches, and/or rubs his neck

Due to his secret feelings for you, the man on your mind is likely to feel insecure, act nervous, and may even feel embarrassed in your presence. 

For example, let’s say he was checking out your cleavage and you caught him looking. This could make him feel embarrassed and that’s why he might scratch the side of his neck. 

Or, if you notice him touching his neck dimple, you must know that he’s feeling insecure or uncomfortable. And yes, you could be to blame. 

You have the power to make him experience all sorts of emotions because he’s in love with you. 

Also, pay close attention to when he rubs the back of his neck – that’s a sign of frustration and it could indicate that something is wrong.

11. He shows signs of nervousness (check his hands)

Other body language cues that reveal signs of nervousness are the following:

  • He keeps his hands in his pockets.
  • He crumples something in his hands.
  • He has clammy or sweaty hands.

But wait, is this guy’s nervousness a sign he has deep feelings for you? Yes, it is! 

Although he probably wants nothing more than to be close to you, this doesn’t mean that he is also able to handle it. 

Maybe he’s overwhelmed with emotion when you’re around him and that’s why he expresses himself this way. He doesn’t want to mess things up.

Or, maybe you make him stumble over his words and that’s why he gets sweaty. 

You can find out for yourself. Just remember to look at what he does with his hands when you interact with each other.

If a shy guy likes you, nervousness will one of the tell tale signs that will give away his romantic feelings for you.

12. He tilts his head to the side when you talk to him

What does it mean when he tilts his head to the side when you talk to him?

It means he’s not only curious about what you’re saying to him but he’s also tuned in.

In other words, he’s not looking through you and thinking about something else. He is actively listening to you and enjoying himself during the process.

Can a simple head tilt say that much about a person’s feelings?

The two-direction head tilt is actually a common psychological sign of genuine curiosity and romantic interest.

It’s not something he controls or does intentionally, which makes it another very valuable sign of his love for you.

13. He makes eye contact with you and looks at your face

As you already know, prolonged eye contact is a sign of attraction.

But what if the man you think about makes eye contact with you and also looks at your nose and lips?

That’s often an indication this guy loves you.

However, he doesn’t want you to find out. That’s why he doesn’t look deeply into your eyes.

At the same time, if he looks at your lips, take it as a sign of sexual attraction. He’s probably wondering how it would feel to kiss you and feel the softness of your lips on his.


By now you should know whether he secretly loves you. If the signs say he does, you might wonder why is he fighting his feelings and not making a move. 

Now, you could wonder…

But if this guy loves me then why is he keeping his feelings for you a secret?

In this regard, he could have various reasons, such as:

  • He doesn’t think you’d give him a chance.
  • He doesn’t have time for a serious relationship.
  • The thought of getting rejected scares him.
  • He doesn’t want to show vulnerability. 
  • He is happy with how things are for now.

Or, perhaps he’s prepping the ground now and plans on confessing his love for you sometime in the future. 

Can’t live with the uncertainty? Talk to him about it! Go ahead and ask him, “Do you have feelings for me?”

Daniela Duca Damian
About Daniela Duca Damian

A journalist by profession, Daniela has been sharing her knowledge and personal experience in the psychology of love and relationships for the past 5 years. Her work is based on facts, practical advice and is meant to help everyone achieve their romantic goals. When she isn’t writing, she challenges her friends with meaningful questions about life.

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