When you’re crazy about someone, all you want is to snuggle up with them 24/7.
But being an adult also means having responsibilities and obligations that pull you in opposite directions.
But if you really miss someone, you find little ways to stay connected, you know?
My sister is always sending her boyfriend care packages while he’s away on business trips. And my friend will schedule movie nights over video chat with her long-distance relationship.
But then for some couples, time apart makes them drift further away instead of bringing them closer. Like if your texts go mostly unanswered for days or calls keep getting dodged.
Could this be your boyfriend’s case?
If so, I’m not going to sugarcoat things for you. It might be a sign he doesn’t miss you.
Don’t jump to conclusions just yet!
Check whether the signs below match your partner’s communication style and behavior.
13 Painful Signs He Doesn’t Miss You Anymore:
Part A: Increasingly Poor Communication
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before: Communication is KEY in romantic relationships. But what if you’re doing your best and he doesn’t respond in the same way?
Increasingly poor communication is a clear sign he doesn’t miss you.
I’ll break it down into two parts:
1. He hardly ever calls you or texts you first
Listen, whether your boyfriend initiates conversations or not matters. It’s not a childish thing to keep tabs on who called or texted last.
Personally, I think it’s a way to constantly be aware of where you stand with him.
In case he persistently gives you attention (even when you’re not physically together) and contacts you first to check up on you or discuss something that’s on his mind, you have no reason to worry.
However, if you notice that his calls/texts become rarer, and he hardly ever initiates conversation anymore, that’s a red flag.
You might not be on his mind as often as he is on yours. He might not miss talking to you or seeing you.
With just little with of observation and gut feeling you can find out if a guy is loosing interest through texting.
2. He barely responds to your texts
On top of rarely initiating a discussion with you, your boyfriend might also take a long time to call you back or reply to your texts.
Sadly, it’s a sign he has something better to do. You could try to find excuses for him, such as that he’s busy or has to take care of an ill parent.
But, deep down, do you really think that’s true?
When a man really misses you, you’ll know. He’ll make time for you, even if that means he’ll stay up at night, talking to you.
If you miss him, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
But, before you jump to a conclusion, take the following study into consideration:
Research shows that men and women perceive texts differently. Overall, women display a more caring attitude during texting. They appear to be more interested and more flirtatious as opposed to men who express anger and sadness and tend to be meaner through text.
In other words, he may not think that replying a bit late is a problem. He might miss you, but be unaware of your needs.
Part B: Emotional Disconnection & Shift in Priorities
Your partner could (unintentionally) express the fact that he doesn’t miss you in other ways as well.
His attempts to become more emotionally connected with you or lack thereof are good indicators in this regard. The same goes for how much time and attention he invests in you.
Let me get specific:
3. His focus has shifted away from you
Here’s the thing: You can pinpoint just how much he misses you by observing how he behaves when you’re physically together.
If he only has eyes for you and doesn’t let anything distract him, then his behavior indicates that he misses you, although he doesn’t express that feeling in any other way.
But, if something seems off when you meet as well, that’s bad. It could mean he wasn’t looking forward to seeing you.
Spending quality time together is also important in a romantic relationship. That’s why it’s a bad sign when he doesn’t pay attention to you and instead, he watches TV, talks to someone else, plays a videogame, etc.
4. He avoids confrontations & talks about the future
Does he miss you? He doesn’t if he…
- … he makes no effort to talk about your problems
- … he avoids confrontations altogether
- … he ignores your attempts to find solutions
- … he doesn’t try to make things work
- … he doesn’t talk about a future together
- … he doesn’t want to make plans for the future
A man truly interested in his girlfriend and the well-being of their relationship doesn’t behave like that.
On the contrary, he goes whatever he can to make things work.
So, in a way, his disinterest in the aspects above points to another inevitable truth: He doesn’t miss you.
But what if he still wants to see you and is very affectionate… “that” way?
If your boyfriend doesn’t invest in you and your relationship and is only interested in having sex with you, he might be using you.
5. You find out what he’s up to from social media
Has he had enough of you? That could be true, especially if he does things without you and doesn’t even tell you about them.
Doing things with other people is encouraged in romantic relationships. It’s healthy for everyone to have a group of friends and to do activities together.
However, if he doesn’t share that information with you and you find out about it on social media, something is wrong.
The fact that he doesn’t feel the need to tell you about his life clearly shows that he doesn’t miss talking to you.
On top of that, if he doesn’t initiate dates and/or get-togethers with you, that means he doesn’t miss seeing you either.
6. He expresses his need for independence and autonomy
Are you dealing with an avoidant partner?
If you are, then he might bring up his need for independence and autonomy quite often.
Just to be clear, an avoidant boyfriend’s behavior looks like this:
- He avoids emotional closeness with you
- He acts cold and distant or hot and cold
- He shuts you off when he has problems
- He isn’t dialed into your emotions
- He is a secretive guy and doesn’t open up
Now, the simple fact that he cares about his independence and autonomy is not bad.
Even so, it indicates he’s okay with you not being by his side, which in turn means he doesn’t miss you much and probably doesn’t want to be in relationship anymore.
7. He talks to other people while he’s with you
How much does he miss you? Not much if he doesn’t give you his undivided attention.
To be more precise, if he spends time talking to other people while he’s with you, that’s a sign of disinterest.
Unless he has no choice but to sort other things out while he’s with you, he has no excuse for doing so.
Your presence alone doesn’t seem to be enough for him. He either lost interest in you and doesn’t want to be in relationship or he finds others more interesting than you.
One thing is for sure: He doesn’t cherish the moments you spend together.
8. You are not part of his stories on social media
When we miss our partners, we can use social media to express that.
We can use it to share stories about/with them, to communicate with them, and so on.
But what if he doesn’t share anything related to you and hardly ever slides into your DMs?
That could be a sign he doesn’t miss you. He clearly has other things/people on his mind. After all, he makes them part of his stories on social media accounts.
On top of that, this sign could reveal something else as well: He has time for others, but not for you… He has time to post stories, but not to text you back. You are not his priority.
9. He doesn’t react to your stories or care what you do
To yearn for someone is intense. You can’t take your mind off of them, wondering what they’re doing and how they’re feeling.
You feel compelled to check their social media profiles and learn as much as you can about them, as well as interact with them in every way.
But is the feeling mutual? It’s not if he doesn’t…
- … react or comment on your stories
- … ask you about your plans or whereabouts
- … show an interest in your life online or otherwise
If so, what does it really mean? He doesn’t yearn for you.
10. He stopped opening up to you and being vulnerable
Emotional intimacy in couples can develop over time. Each person opens up and shares their vulnerabilities at their own pace.
So far, so good. But what if your boyfriend stopped doing all of these?
That’s a sign he doesn’t feel as emotionally close to you as before. In turn, this emotional disconnection could make him miss you less.
Can you think of a reason why? The most common causes of emotional distance in couples are:
- He craves more alone time
- He is stressed or depressed
- Your relationship dynamic is unhealthy
- His feelings for you have changed
- You did something that hurt/scared him
11. He avoids talking about past memories
In general, couples are encouraged to remember and talk about the good times, namely events and experiences that made them feel happy.
This practice strengthens their bond and has positive effects on them. It makes them feel more optimistic and motivated to push forward.
Is it the same for your boyfriend?
If anytime you try to bring up a happy memory he interrupts you and reacts in an uneasy way, it could be a sign he doesn’t miss those times.
Or worst, he could choose to focus on the one thing that didn’t go as planned that day. Who knows, maybe you and your partner have very different perceptions of the same things.
12. You can see it in his body language
It’s kinda funny how much our body language gives away, isn’t it?
Even when he’s not saying it outright, his physical cues will tell you if he’s missing you or could care less during time apart.
Like does he light up when you walk in the room after a trip? Big smile, rushing over to hug you tight?
Or is it more like a distracted “hey” and awkward pat on the back?
When you snuggle up on the couch catching up, is he turned toward you, fully engaged? Or is he angled away distracted by his phone?
The truth often comes out through those involuntary micro-expressions and posture giveaways. If his body is saying “I’m so glad you’re back!” then he obviously missed you.
But if he’s physically standoffish, the time apart probably didn’t faze him.
13. You have a gut feeling that he doesn’t miss you
What is your gut feeling telling you? Do you have a bad feeling when you ask yourself whether he misses you or not?
If you do, that’s your instinct telling you that you’re right. But, should you trust your instinct?
Numerous experts advise you to listen to your gut because it’s probably right. You see, your mind gathers information constantly and identifies patterns.
That’s how it can be extremely accurate when it comes to predicting the outcome of a certain situation. To be more precise, it puts things together and it makes certain connections that you can’t; not consciously anyway.
The result? You somehow know that your boyfriend doesn’t miss you even if you have no cold hard evidence.
What to do when your boyfriend doesn’t miss you?
Learning that your partner doesn’t, in fact, miss you is not good news. However, try not to get discouraged!
There are plenty of reasons why this could’ve happened. In this regard, do your best and don’t think of the worst-case scenario.
Try to talk to him and find out what is really happening.
Here’s how you could address the issue:
“I feel that things have changed between us and I don’t understand why. Can you please try to explain what displeases you about me and/or our relationship?
In case he still has feelings for you and isn’t just pretending to love you, he will try to answer your question and based on that you can decide whether things can be fixed or not.
Fair warning: He might reveal hurtful truths to you, so be prepared.
Or, if you’re also afraid of confrontations, then try to reignite the spark in your relationship by planning activities together, bringing up interesting topics in conversations, switching things up, and getting out of your comfort zones.
Feeling that your partner doesn’t miss you can have a negative effect on your self-esteem and cause you heartbreak as well.
That’s why it’s best to first care for yourself and then think about his feelings for you. After all, you have to give him reasons to miss you.
Try to look at your relationship in an objective way and if everything else fails, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A relationship coach or therapist can prove to be exactly what you need to get your relationship back on track.
Also remember, if you two have gone separate ways then there is not much you can do.