As a woman, I know how baffling dating can be for most guys.
You finally meet a girl you’re so into, but have no idea how to get her to like you back.
You hang out and sense a connection, but feel stuck about taking it to the next level.
I get it – movies make wooing women seem effortless, but real life has no scripts to follow!
Luckily, I’m here to share the secrets and shortcuts to getting girls interested.
I’ll explain what actually makes you likeable and irresistible in our eyes.
It’s simpler than you think – with some key mindset and behavior tweaks, you can go from just another guy to someone she can’t stop crushing on.
Spoiler Alert: It’s definitely got something to do with focusing on being a likable guy!
This article is divided into three sections focusing on different aspects of getting a girl to like you; skip to the sections most relevant to you or read the entire article; it’s up to you.
- Getting Her to Notice You
- Become Her Friend (building the foundation)
- Expressing Your Attraction to Her
17 Ways to Get a Girl To Like You Almost Instantly
Step A: Getting the Attention of the girl you like
1. Practice Basic Hygiene
Caring about your appearance says a lot about your character and personality.
If you have good hygiene and smell great, there’s a distinct possibility the girl you like will notice you.
Keep your clothes freshly laundered, your nails short, and stick to a regular shower and shaving routine.
Basic hygiene is one of the simplest ways to get noticed by the girl you like for the right reasons!
2. Be Confident to Spark Her Interest
Let’s be clear, being confident is more about being comfortable in your own skin than it is about being domineering.
Instead, when you show relaxed mental confidence in yourself and your capabilities, your body language is more open.
As a result, you appear more vibrant and fun to be around, which is significantly attractive to girls.
For example, smile confidently when you walk into a room, keep your posture straight (no hunched shoulders), and be friendly.
Top Tip: Join the gym; it will do wonders for your self-confidence. Girls fall for confident guys. Ask any girl, a guy who is comfortable in his own skin is always perfect boyfriend material!
3. Build a Vibrant Life that She Wants to be a Part of
“Get a life!”
Strange how these three words, often used as an insult, can have a lot of truth hiding behind them.
Unfortunately, an empty life devoid of hobbies, activities, or interests can seem very boring, especially to that special girl you hope to spend more time with.
Who wants to spend time with someone who isn’t interested in anything?
Instead, embrace life to the fullest, do the awesome things you’ve always wanted to do, and you’ll soon see how attractive having an interesting life can be.
Some great examples of hobbies you could try include hiking, fishing, sports, or even cooking! All girls love a guy who knows his way around the kitchen!
4. Explore a Hobby That Ignites Your Creativity
Don’t have a hobby or outside interest?
As you now know, having a hobby or actively engaging in a sport improves your attractiveness to the opposite sex.
Not only does it add depth to your own life, but you also appear more interesting. But where do you start if you’re new to the creativity game?
The key is to select a hobby or interest you enjoy, as this will ensure the passion you show for it will be visible to the girl you like.
For example, there’s no point in joining a book club if reading literally puts you to sleep!
Instead (and this is a bit sneaky), find out what activities she enjoys and then actively investigate them for yourself.
For instance, perhaps she enjoys horse riding; it might be time to invest in some riding lessons!
5. Mesmerize Her via Benjamin Franklin Effect
Ask her to do you a favor.
This could be something small like watering your plants while you are away, sharing her notes with you from class, or loaning you one of her books.
Because according to the psychological principle behind the Benjamin Franklin Effect, subconsciously, when you ask a girl to do something for you, she starts to like you a little more.
This is because the brain translates our actions for others into the message, ‘Aah, we must like this person.‘
Of course, don’t go overboard and ask for ridiculous or inappropriate favors, as this will definitely turn ‘liking’ you into avoiding you!
6. Smile When She Sees You
There’s a saying that goes something like this; “smile, and the world smiles with you. Frown, and you frown alone”
Because a smile is internationally understood as being friendly and approachable.
In comparison, a moody expression is bound to have people (including her) avoiding you.
Instead, because smiles are so contagious, she’s likely to smile back at you, which is the perfect conversation starter in everyone’s book.
If you think about there’s no need for words when you smile across a room; instead, wordlessly, it says ‘Hi, I’m friendly, competent, and likable; come and talk to me.”
Step B: Being Friends with the Girl You Like
7. Show Your Sense of Humor Aligns with Her Personality
Having a sense of humor is definitely going to gain you additional brownie points.
In fact, studies show that those with a sense of humor are seen as more socially attractive., which would explain why the funny guy always gets the girl.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should develop a stand-up comedian routine or act like a clown when in her presence.
However, a well-timed joke or humorous comment that sets off the giggles (even if the laugh is directed at you) will certainly boost your chances of getting her to like you!
8. Find Common Ground to Build on the Connection
Every human, no matter what their gender, ultimately seeks similarity in a mate.
The trick is to find common interests you both enjoy; this means listening carefully to what she has to say and then highlighting those you have in common.
It’s a bit like playing relationship snap!
For example, if she enjoys cooking shows, mention your favorite celebrity chef, or if she likes swimming, offer to take her to the beach.
Remember what I said in point 4, finding a common connection is based on the same principle.
9. Share Secrets to Build Trust
Sharing secrets engenders trust.
Sharing something personal shows you trust her, demonstrating she can trust you. This promotes confidence and security in your relationship, which is a huge win if you want her to like you.
Perhaps share an embarrassing moment or something no one else knows about you. However, when telling secrets, it’s best to stick with things you wouldn’t mind others finding out about if she does decide to tell someone.
For example, sharing that you pluck your eyebrows or love romantic comedies is a much safer secret than disclosing sensitive information.
10. Use Playful Teasing to Build Rapport
We aren’t suggesting you douse her with water or embarrass her with tasteless pranks. Instead, teasing should be fun without going overboard and causing offense.
Instead, keep your tone friendly, be playful rather than critical, and avoid topics you know she is sensitive about.
For example, weight, looks, clothing and friends can be touchy topics for most girls.
Instead, stick to neutral things like the time she pitched up to class on the wrong day or perhaps the funny way she wrinkles her nose when she’s concentrating.
*For this one, we recommend you get to know your girl well before dabbling in the art of teasing and accidentally putting your foot in it.
11. Spend More Quality Time with Her
Quality time is giving her your undivided attention; this means no phones, gaming devices, tv, or tablets. But, of course, this doesn’t mean you have to give these things up to get your girl to like you.
On the contrary, it’s about prioritizing time with her when you have set plans together. For example, when spending time with her, silence your messages and pocket your phone!
If your girl’s love language is quality time, this is one area you can really work on and get her to like you a lot!
(*Hot Tip, Girls love attention!)
Some excellent ideas for spending ‘quality time’ together include:
- Going for walks
- Binge watching a tv series together
- Cooking a meal together
- Exercising or hiking together
- Going for coffee or drinks
- Seasonal activities – Christmas markets, ice-skating, pumpkin carving etc
12. Break the Touching Barrier
Breaking the touching barrier can be tricky, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
Firstly, let’s be clear; we’re only talking about non-sexual touching here, for example, holding hands, touching her on the shoulder etc.
When breaking the touching barrier, you are letting her know she can trust you to touch her in a non-sexual way and that you are comfortable around her and with her reactions.
Some excellent ways to initiate touch include:
- Gently touching her shoulder when talking to her
- Playing a game that requires touch (rock, paper, scissors)
- High-fiving when celebrating
- Developing a secret handshake only the two of you know
Now for the important bit. If you touch her and she reacts with fear or seems repulsed, don’t touch her again. She obviously doesn’t want to be touched, and her feelings should be respected.
Step 3: Communicating Your Romantic Interest
13. Don’t Push Things too Far
For whatever reason, girls ultimately wait for guys to make the first move; it’s been like this since dot.
However, this doesn’t give you license to push things too far. Instead, take your cues from her.
If you think she’s interested in you, look out for these subtle hints that might suggest she’s into you and wants to be your girlfriend:
- She pays you compliments
- She seems nervous or awkward when with you
- She laughs at your jokes
- She turns towards you when talking
- She makes or avoid eye contact if you catch her looking at you
- She plays with her hair or mirrors your moves when she’s talking to you
- She’s comfortable being close to you
Most importantly, respect her decision. If you make a move based on what you think is mutual attraction and she rejects you, remember, no really does mean no.
14. Use Subtle Flirting Techniques to See How She Responds
Contrary to popular belief, flirting isn’t about thinking up the first cheesy pick-up line that comes to mind and hoping it will work.
In fact, flirting is an art that involves a lot of non-verbal cues and signs to deliver the message, ‘I’m so into you!’
Firstly body language signals are important when showing the girl you like that you are genuinely interested.
- Maintain good posture
When speaking to a girl, keep your shoulders back and your chin up. Not only will this help you to feel more confident in yourself, but you will also appear more positive and in charge, which is super attractive to the ladies. You could call this the Alpha- male pose!
- Be mindful of your feet
Not in the stinky sock kind of way! No, here we are talking about positioning your feet towards her when talking shows you are interested in her without saying anything.
- Palms open and up
Clenched fists or palms that face downwards can indicate aggression, defensiveness or being closed off. All of which won’t help to create a flirtatious conversation with the girl you like.
Instead, keep your palms facing up, showing you are open, welcoming and receptive to new information.
- Maintain eye contact
There’s a difference between making prolonged contact and staring creepily at her. However, according to a lot of research, maintaining eye contact can have a powerful effect and increase your attractiveness!
So how do you do this without coming across as a stalker?
Step 1 – Pick your moment. Trying to make eye contact with her when she’s busy with a task won’t be effective. She will either not notice or wonder what you are up to!
Step 2 – Catch her eye. Keep your eyes on hers as much as possible; she’ll eventually look up, guaranteed!
Step 3 – Smile at her while maintaining eye contact.
Step 4 – Maintain eye contact for at least 4.5 seconds; this is bound to provide a not-so-subtle hint that you’re flirting with her.
15. Compliment Her on Little Things to Show Your Genuine Interest
Much like guys, girls love compliments.
You know for yourself how good it feels to have someone notice something about you, and the same can be said for the girl you like.
Of course, you shouldn’t go overboard as then your compliments will come across as insincere, which will have a negative effect on those brownie points you’re trying to earn.
Ideally, you should focus on little things that apply only to her. She’ll feel special.
When complimenting her, think about her accomplishments, personality and values. These are great starting points for delivering a compliment that is bespoke to her.
“Well done on your promotion! You’re such an intelligent person; I wish I had your creativity and discipline.”
Remember, compliments are not pick-up lines!
Quick examples of great compliments:
- You look really great today; that color suits your eyes/hair/complexion
- I love your positive energy
- You always make me feel so relaxed/comfortable
- You’ve got great taste
- You have such a sexy laugh
16. Tell Her How You Feel About Her
Telling a girl how you feel is possibly the toughest thing for a guy to do. Thoughts of rejection can take on a nightmare quality.
- What if she says no?
- What if she laughs at me?
But as the ‘what ifs’ spiral out of control in your head.
Did you ever stop to consider what if she says yes?
The truth is you have a 50/50 chance of her saying yes or no, so go for it!
Life is too short to waste time hoping she likes you (she probably does), she’s interested in being more than friends and missing out because you were nervous to say anything.
Remember the points on confidence? Use them!
Some top points to remember when you pluck up the courage to talk to her about your genuine feelings include:
- Choose a moment you can speak to her in private.
- Look and smell amazing; remember, appearance is important.
- Practice the alpha-male pose; confidence is everything.
- Be sincere, don’t be gross or derogatory.
- Be clear and direct; tell her you like her and see her reaction.
- Let her know you think she’s awesome and why you think she’s great.
- Respect her decision and ask if you can still be friends if the answer is no.
17. Ask Her Out on a Date if You Both Share the Same Feelings
If she says she feels the same way (there’s a 50% chance she will), well done, you have officially got a girl to like you! See, it was a lot simpler than you initially thought.
Of course, this means it’s time to ask her out on an official date.
Firstly, a word of warning, going on a date with all your friends is not a date—simple case and point. If you have worked hard to get her to like you, you need to keep up the pace to ensure she continues liking you.
That said, when planning your first date, ensure it’s special and something you both enjoy. Below are some great ideas for first dates with your special girl that she’ll love:
- Go on a picnic
- Get tickets to a sports game (if she’s into sports!)
- Tour a brewery, museum, or place of interest
- Go horseback riding/hiking/dog walking
- Go out for dessert rather than dinner
- Book a gin, whiskey or wine tasting
What To Avoid If You Want Her to Like You Back?
By now, you have a good idea of what to do to get a girl to like you. However, a gentle recap on what not to do will help keep things in perspective!
- Don’t let your personal hygiene slip (phew!)
- Don’t allow your self-confidence to slip. Alpha male all the way!
- Don’t forget who you are, be original
- Don’t be overly confident, as this may seem egotistical! It’s about balance.
Getting a girl to like you isn’t about using tricks or coercive behavior. Instead, it simply boils down to being a confident and likeable guy. Of course, self-confidence takes practice; not everyone is born oozing self-confidence.
However, besides self-confidence having a personality, leading a well-balanced, fulfilling life, and caring about the girl you like will certainly work in your favor.