Is your boss crushing on you or are you flattering yourself?
Before you do anything you might regret, you have to make sure they’re indeed catching feelings for you.
The danger of misinterpreting their intentions is real. Who knows, maybe your boss is just being extremely nice to you.
Or, maybe they’re a flirt: They interact with employees of the opposite sex in a playful, but totally harmless way.
Either way, not reading into this situation right can have embarrassing and even career-damaging consequences for you and your boss.
That’s why it’s important (both on a personal and professional level) to figure out whether your boss likes you but is hiding it.
How? By looking out for the next 17 revealing signs!
17 Signs Your Boss Likes You But Is Hiding It:
1. Your intuition makes you think or feel that way
I’m sure you’ve heard this before: Trust your intuition!
But how can you trust something based on zero rational reasons? Well, what your gut feeling is telling you is actually based on facts.
Although you don’t consciously think about certain things that you normally notice during a typical workday, your brain still records those events.
Next, it puts all of them together. The result? The feeling in your gut!
Especially if the thought of them liking you causes you discomfort or irritates you, your intuition could manifest as a negative sensation.
If that’s the case, but you don’t want to put all of your trust in just a feeling, read on for more signs!
2. Your boss gives you special or preferential treatment
Look, your boss may be married or have other reasons for not confessing their feelings for you.
Maybe workplace romances are completely forbidden in the company you work for.
Regardless of why he or she is hiding it, they probably do all sorts of other things that give their feelings away. Giving you special treatment is one of them.
Let me give you some examples:
- They assign the best projects to you – even if you’re underqualified to work on them.
- They spend a lot more time mentoring you than your other coworkers.
- Their reaction is more relaxed when you make a mistake. The same can’t be said about your other work colleagues.
- They allow you to take more breaks or work flexible hours.
- They praise your work in front of others and have your back by blaming others.
This special treatment are the signs that your boss likes you secretly but hiding it.
3. They make your job outlook sound too good
Is your boss promising you a great future in the company?
If he or she is doing that, then pay attention to this sign because it’s really important!
Because they might be blinded by feelings of attraction and affection, they could paint an unrealistic picture of your future in the company.
They could try to embellish the whole situation and make you believe that you could make considerable professional progress in the next years.
If you think that what they say sounds too good to be true, you’re probably right. Stay away if they promise you countless raises and promotions.
What they are trying to do is show you how much power they have within the company and make you feel special and favored.
4. Their body language gives them away
Body language is very a trustable sign to find out if your boss likes you. It’s easy to make assessment looking at how closed or open their body language is around you.
So,are you ready to learn how to read a man’s and a woman’s body language?
If your boss is a woman, watch out for the following body language signs:
- She plays with her hair when she talks to you.
- She makes prolonged eye contact with you.
- She unconsciously licks her lips when you talk.
- She points her feet in your direction.
- She touches your arm, shoulder, or back when talking to you.
What if your boss is a guy?
- He holds eye contact.
- He turns toward you when he’s talking to you.
- He leans in when he talks to you.
- He initiates physical contact with you by touching you lightly during the conversation.
- He fixes himself up when you enter the room.
- He is checking you out when you’re not looking.
5. They keep making suggestive comments
Earlier, I said that some people are natural flirts. However, there is a line not even they would cross.
I am talking about over-sexualizing everything they say to you. To be more precise, they compliment the way you look using sexual remarks.
Or, they make suggestive comments about the clothes you wear or even about a part of your body.
Some bosses may go as far as dropping hints about sexual stuff (especially if no one else can hear them).
However, before you jump to conclusions, try to observe their behavior with other coworkers. Maybe they’re not being pushy with you only and everyone thinks they have a problem.
6. Your boss gives you various gifts
When your boss likes you, there’s something else he or she might do. They might give you various gifts; gifts that are just for you.
If you complained about not having a decent stapler and the next day you got a new and improved stapler, then it’s safe to say that your boss pays special attention to you and your needs.
Or, maybe you said something about having lower back pain and they gifted you a pillow for your back.
Regardless of what they bought for you, if it was meant for you only and your coworkers got nothing, there could be romantic feelings involved.
What if your boss bought something different for everyone on the team? This simply means they chose personalized gifts.
7. Your boss compliments you, not only your work
Let’s get straight to the point: Your male or female boss likes you but is hiding it if they direct their compliments at you, not at your work.
While it’s totally understandable and encouraged for a manager, a team leader, or someone in a similar position to praise their employees for their professional achievements, things are different with personal compliments.
So, if you get showered with compliments regarding your looks, personality, and generally about aspects that aren’t connected to your work, read between the lines.
They may be trying to get your attention with the help of kind words. However, don’t ever forget to check if they say the same things to other work colleagues.
Eavesdropping may not be your style. Even so, you might have to do it if you really want to find out the truth.
8. They ask you to hang out after office hours
Coworkers sometimes go out for drinks after work. There is nothing unusual about that.
It becomes unusual when let’s say, your boss asks you to have a drink with him or her alone.
Of course, there are exceptions. Maybe they asked you when no one else was at work. That could be understandable.
But if the office was full and their invitation was for you only, something must be happening. Maybe they’re trying to spend time alone with you to get to know you better.
Or, maybe they’re looking for opportunities to make a move on you or learn more about your personal life before they ask you out.
Either way, if your instinct is telling you his or her intentions are inappropriate, you should probably refuse them politely.
9. They set unnecessary one-on-one meetings with you
Another sign that could help you determine if your boos likes your or not it: They set private meetings with you without apparent reasons or schedule late-night meetings.
Unless you think he or she has a professional reason for doing so, you can move on to the next sign.
However, if you can’t see the point of such meetings and your boss never sticks to work-related topics, take it as a red flag.
The purpose of spending one on one time with you could have nothing to do with work. They could be crushing on you and/or feel sexually attracted to you.
10. Your boss is interested in your views and opinions
Admit it: Things are getting pretty personal with your boss. You two no longer talk only about work.
On the contrary, they ask for your opinions and views and on personal matters as well.
Fair warning: They might not need dating advice from you. They might ask you for it to get a grasp of how you see things and maybe learn more about your romantic life or personal life in general.
I’m not saying that they are not asking you for advice in a sincere way. But still. The chances are quite low.
On top of that, if they’re trying to mix your professional relationship even further, they could even invite you to various social events. These are obvious signs your boss likes you at least is interested in you.
11. Your boss asks your coworkers about you
In case you’re on good terms with your coworkers and you don’t shy away from cracking a few jokes with them, they might tell you some surprising things.
If you haven’t already, try to spend some time with them during breaks and listen to what they’re saying. One of them might mention your boss’s curiosity about you.
Refrain from asking them directly, though. That may cause some suspicion. Maybe they’ll think you’re the one who likes your boss, not the other way around.
What if your work colleagues already said something about it? Then the answer is clear.
12. They find a project to work on just with you
When someone goes out of their way to spend time with you in privacy, you can either feel flattered or feel like running away.
Especially if you don’t want to risk your job and you don’t feel the same for your boss, it should be the latter.
If working one-on-one with the boss is not a regular practice in the company your work for, it means he or she is using their authority to their personal benefit. Yes, they like you!
13. They give you more autonomy within the company
There are many ways someone in a position of power can favor an employee they fancy. One example in this regard is when they give them more autonomy within the company.
While it’s true that you can earn those rights fair and square, if you feel you’re being favored, that’s probably the truth.
How can you tell for sure? Do some digging! If you find out that several more experienced people were on the waiting list for the next promotion, but you got it, that’s not great news.
That’s unethical and unprofessional and it might get both of you in trouble.
14. Your boss is amused by every joke you make
Women love men that make them laugh and men love women who laugh at their jokes.
However, even if your boss is a male, he still laughs or at least giggles at your attempts to be funny.
Can you relate? If you can, then you must know that is a sign of attraction and romantic interest.
Not even the most uninspired joke won’t go unnoticed if your boss is constantly watching you and listening to what you’re saying.
15. Your boss takes your side no matter what
Your boss likes you a lot if he or she takes your side and starts blaming others. This is another very bad type of behavior – even if feelings are involved.
So, think about it… Did you make a mistake, but you didn’t suffer the consequences? Were you criticized by your coworkers, but he or she defended you?
YES: While it’s really sweet for a potential romantic partner to defend you in various situations, the same doesn’t go for your boss. He could lose his job over this. Also, it’s not fair to treat you like that.
16. They are always there to greet you when you come and go
Your boss could be an early bird and a very busy person who needs to stay at work late.
Or… they could have romantic feelings for you and that’s why they’re always there to greet you.
It’s like they know at what time you’ll arrive at work and at what time you’ll leave.
Yes, creepy indeed, they could be watching your every move and obsessing over you right now.
That’s probably one of the reasons office romances are not encouraged.
17. They are trying to create a special connection
If your current job is not the first one you have, then you know what a typical employer/employee relationship should look like.
Keeping things professional is always the best way.
Even so, sometimes things may deviate from the right path. Your boss could try to create a special connection with you by confiding in you.
For example, they could share vulnerable things about their personal life in an attempt to deepen the connection.
If they are trying to create a special dynamic with you it’s a sure sign your boss like you.
What to do if your boss likes you Secretly?
- Ask yourself how you feel about it – If you like your boss back and are prepared for all the mess that comes with office romances, then go for it.
- Create strict boundaries with them – If you’re not interested in pursuing anything with them, then politely and clearly say no to any invitation to spend time outside of work.
- Don’t be afraid to be direct – If what they’re doing is making you feel uncomfortable, gently let them know. Express your disinterest by saying, “I’m flattered, but I’d like to focus on my work.”
- Look for help – If your boss doesn’t get the message and they’re being pushy, don’t hesitate to talk to the HR department about their behavior.
Speaking of office romance, check out these articles below. One of them might catch your eye!
Workplace romances are risky. So, unless you think your boss could be the love of your life, prioritize your job.
Most often than not, bosses tend to abuse their power and determine others to play along because they fear losing their jobs.
Some employers may be considered opportunists because they approach you from a position of power and make it harder for you to refuse them.
However, if you want to keep your integrity and the paychecks coming, you should do your best to protect yourself from them.
Also, If you’re dealing with a married boss who is showing signs of romantic interest then it’s in your best interest you to avoid this situation.
Nothing, ever, comes good out of it!