I wish I could tell you that in order to treat your girlfriend right, all you need to do is quickly check a few boxes and then go on with your day.
But in truth, things are much more complicated than that.
If you really want to give her what she needs, you’ll have to learn how to be selfless sometimes and that can be tricky.
Here’s the thing: Your chances to succeed are slim unless you find a balance between loving her and loving yourself.
Being your best self and knowing how to also fully surrender to her and your relationship is hard, but definitely not impossible.
Are you ready to take on this challenge? If you are, then let’s not waste another moment and get started!
20 Essential Tips to Treat Your Girlfriend Right:
1. Meet her mental, physical, and emotional needs
Your girlfriend is a complex being with mental, physical, and emotional needs – just as you are.
To treat her right, it’s not enough to sometimes feed her and tell her she’s pretty. Her needs go beyond that.
Let me tell you a bit about each need:
- Mental needs: the need to create attachments, to feel pleasure and avoid pain, and to improve herself.
- Physical needs: the need to eat, drink, sleep, and so on.
- Emotional needs: the need to feel respected, important, accepted, included, and secure.
Now, some of her needs will be harder to meet than others. However, simply being aware of what you should look out for it’s going to help you a lot.
2. Learn how to simply listen to her when she talks
To treat your GF right, you sometimes have to simply listen to her. And when you do, you have to fight your instinct to find solutions to her problems.
Indeed, men are fixers and that’s great! However, the woman next to you needs you to simply hear her out and sympathize with her.
Although the way she processes her emotions might not make too much sense to you, it works for her and that’s what really matters.
So, unless she asks you for solutions, refrain from giving her any. Instead, just pay attention to what she’s saying and try to put yourself in her shoes to understand her better.
3. Show her you appreciate her and be affectionate
Meet some of her emotional and mental needs by appreciating her and being affectionate with her.
For example, great ways to show appreciation for your girlfriend are:
- Clearly tell her how thankful you are for what she does for you.
- Do something nice for her or buy her a nice present
- Offer your help and be a dependable guy
As for being affectionate, don’t hesitate to hold your girlfriend’s hand, hug her, kiss her forehead, and so on.
Each man has his way of expressing his appreciation and affection for the woman in his life and that’s a good thing. However, make sure your message gets through to her. How?
Simply ask her! It’s no shame in asking her if she feels appreciated or how to be more affectionate with her.
4. Give her reasons to look up to you and admire you
As I mentioned before, in the process of treating your GF in the best way, you can’t let yourself go.
On the contrary, you should never stop working on yourself; you should be the type of person she can look up to.
In this regard, your goal is to give her reasons to admire you. You can do this with the help of your personal accomplishments and who you are as a person.
However, there’s another way to do it. You can earn her admiration by being attentive, asking her questions, and coming up with solutions when she needs them.
When you do this, she sees how strong and resourceful you really are.
5. Find ways to surprise her on a constant basis
Look, just because the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over, this doesn’t mean that you should stop surprising her.
During that time, you used to buy flowers for her, chocolates, and other cute things that made you think of her. Why would you stop?
You can continue to surprise her and keep your relationship fresh, as it was when it started. If you think that she doesn’t value the small things anymore, think again…
Part of treating her right is to surprise her constantly. These small gestures show you care and you want to put a smile on her face.
Surprising her with romantic gestures or couple activities is ideal, especially when she needs a distraction from her everyday problems.
6. Ask for her approval before you cross any boundary
Boundaries… we all have them. And that’s a good thing! That’s how we can let others know what we find acceptable and what we don’t.
With this in mind, don’t ever think about crossing one of her boundaries without asking first. That would be against your purpose.
Remember, even if you don’t agree with her boundaries, this doesn’t mean they’re less important. Or, if you don’t know where she stands with something, then don’t hesitate to ask her.
Want some examples?
- Ask her if it’s okay to show up at her workplace during lunchtime.
- Ask her before you borrow or use anything that is hers.
- Ask her if she’s comfortable with anything sexual before doing it.
7. Spoil her with fancy dates from time to time
Every woman wants to feel like a princess or like a queen from time to time. If she’s your girl, then why not give her that?
Spoil her with fancy dates whenever you can afford them. Don’t wait for certain occasions to make her feel special; don’t be that guy who only makes an effort twice a year (for your anniversary and her birthday).
I’m not suggesting that you should make big financial sacrifices just to take her out. Not at all.
What I’m saying is, don’t let her cook dinner for you every night without taking her out at least once – especially if you have money in your pocket.
8. Go beyond making her FEEL important
Here’s something to think about:
What would be best? To make your GF feel important or to make her important in your life?
The way I see it, you can achieve both if you make her important in your life. If you do that, she’ll also feel important.
How? There are a few ways, such as…
… gradually sharing every aspect of your life with her
… including her in your decision-making process
… making her and your relationship a priority
… discussing opinions and sharing ideas with her
9. Make sure you know what she likes and what she doesn’t
Do you want to be a better boyfriend/life partner? Then make sure you know what she likes and what she doesn’t like.
Good boyfriends ask their girlfriends many things about themselves or are very observant throughout the relationship.
In this way, each of them learns what his GF’s favorite color is, if she likes coffee or tea better, what her idea of fun is, and so on.
These details are important to know if you want to please her, but they are also important if you really want to get to know her.
Fair warning: You won’t be able to remember everything about her. You’ll definitely have your strong points and that’s okay!
10. Buy things for her and surprise her with gifts
Once in a while, it wouldn’t hurt to buy something for your girlfriend that you know she needs or wants.
Or, you can surprise her with something small. For example, at the beginning of my relationship, my boyfriend used to bring me donuts for no reason about 2 times per week.
I really like diversity, i.e. pink donuts, chocolate donuts, donuts with sprinkles, and so on, and he picked up on that.
He used to make me smile with this simple gesture and he didn’t stop. 6 years later, he’s still buying all sorts of cool sweets for me just because.
Now, I am sure there’s something your girlfriend reacts positively to. Find out what it is!
11. Treat her to breakfast in bed (or lunch, dinner)
Another less-extravagant way to treat her right is to sometimes spoil her with breakfast in bed… or brunch, lunch, dinner…
Whenever you have some spare time and want to cut her some slack, don’t think twice before preparing some food for her and taking it to her in bed!
She won’t only be surprised, but also feel special, spoiled, and appreciated. On top of that, if you give it some thought, doing this for her is not that hard!
Don’t get me wrong, no one is asking you to cook a meal from scratch if you don’t have time. Nowadays, you can’t go wrong with takeout either. Just put it on a plate and you’re done!
12. Give her massages to help her relax and relieve tension
Don’t underestimate the importance of giving her massages either! If you want to, you can think of this as one of her physical needs.
Indeed, it’s not one of her vital physical needs. It’s something that she’ll not only appreciate but also something that contributes to her well-being.
In this regard, if you really want to be an ideal boyfriend, look up various relaxing massaging techniques online.
If you know exactly what you’re doing, the result is going to be even better. After all, your girlfriend deserves the best!
13. Protect her and make her feel safe with you
Regardless of how strong and independent your girlfriend is, she still wants to feel safe with you and protected by you.
So, you don’t have to ignore your instinct when it tells you to protect her. All men have an innate drive to act in such a way, especially with the women they fall in love with.
And the best part? This counts as treating her right!
So, don’t hesitate to protect her with your body when the streets are crowded or with your attitude when she’s feeling down.
Making her feel safe with you has multiple benefits, including mental and emotional ones.
14. Tell her what you like about her every chance you get
Do you think she has a great hair day? Then tell her!
Are you impressed by her cooking? Compliment the food!
Did you like how she touched you in the bedroom? Don’t hesitate to let her know!
When you think highly of your girlfriend, don’t let it be just a thought. Share it with her!
Paying compliments to your GF is essential. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for 1 month or 10 years.
Hearing what you like and appreciate about her is never going to get old. She’ll always feel good and treated right if you give her compliments.
15. Be someone she can rely on when things get tough
Do you want to go the extra mile for your GF? Then be someone she can rely on when things don’t go her way.
A great boyfriend is there for his partner not only during happy times but also during the darkest hour.
When she’s disappointed, be the shoulder she cries on.
When she’s lost, be the rock she needs to stand her ground.
When she’s hurt, be there to help heal her wounds.
Do all this and she’ll know that you’re a dependable man; someone she can rely on without a doubt.
16. Invest in your relationship as much as she does
One other way to reach your goal is to match her level of investment in your relationship. For example, if she makes time to see you although she’s busy, do the same for her.
Here are a few examples of ways you can invest in your relationship:
- Spend quality time with her
- Make efforts for her
- Be vulnerable with her
- Show your support
- Be affectionate with her
17. Openly share your hopes and dreams with her
The more you let her in, the better! When you’re open and vulnerable with your girlfriend, it also means that you’re treating her as you’re supposed to be treating her.
The right thing to do is to share your hopes and dreams with her. Why?
In this way, she’ll get to know you more in-depth, she’ll see whether you have similar hopes and dreams, and she’ll feel more included in your life.
You are basically entrusting her with your most intimate thoughts, so she will appreciate this more than you think!
18. Treat her family and her friends with respect
The next way to play your cards right with her is to treat her family and friends with respect.
Even if you don’t like them or click in any way with them, you should still treat them with consideration.
Spending time with your partner’s close ones might not always be pleasant. However, this is something that a boyfriend should do out of courtesy.
On top of that, if you’re intentions with her are serious, you’re bound to see these people for a long time.
So, giving your best to show up and act nicely at family events and friends get-togethers is important – for her and for your relationship.
19. Help her with household chores when she asks
Do you really want to make a difference in this girl’s life? If you do, then get your act together and help her when she asks for your help – especially with household chores.
Seeing you rolling your eyes and hearing you sigh heavily just because she asked you to take out the trash is going to make her feel all sorts of unhappy feelings.
So, unless you’re in the middle of something really important, stop whatever you’re doing and do what she asks you.
This is not just a way to maintain peace in your relationship. It’s also a way to show her that you respect and appreciate her.
20. Avoid making her feel like your maid
Be honest: Do you clean up after yourself? Do you wipe the toilet seat, wash the sink after shaving, and do the dishes you eat in?
If you don’t and you two live together or you are doing this at her place, then it means you’re treating her like a maid.
You basically expect her to clean after you, even if you don’t have this particular thought in mind.
“She doesn’t mind,” you might think. While that may be true, if you really want to put on your best behavior with this woman, do at least a little bit of cleaning.
Or, if your relationship is already serious, then you can talk to her about splitting chores.
Now that you know exactly what to do to treat your girlfriend in the best and right way, you need to ask yourself the following question:
Is she worthy of all your efforts and involvement? Just because you met a woman and you think you should treat her like a queen, it doesn’t mean she deserves it.
So, before you give her your all, make sure she’s not taking advantage of your kind and loving nature and that she meets you halfway.
Sure, everything about your girlfriend is important, but so are you. Remember that!