He was everything I thought I wanted charming, confident, funny. He made me feel special, almost like I was living in a movie. But slowly, little things started to feel… off. I found myself apologizing all the time, second-guessing my feelings, and walking on eggshells just to keep the peace.
At first, I blamed myself. I thought maybe I was too sensitive or overreacting. But deep down, something didn’t feel right. The way he twisted things, made me doubt my reality, and turned every conversation back to himself it all started to make sense once I learned about narcissistic behavior in relationships.
The truth is, narcissists don’t show their true colors right away. They lure you in with charm, only to slowly drain your confidence and control your emotions. If you’ve ever questioned whether your partner might be a narcissist, you’re not alone.
1. He’s All About the “Grand Entrance”
At first, everything felt like a fairy tale, right?
Lavish dates, constant compliments, and attention that made you feel like the only person in the world. This phase is called “love bombing.”
Narcissists use love bombing to hook you in. They shower you with affection, gifts, and promises of a perfect future. But here’s the catch: it’s all a performance.
Once they’ve won you over, their behavior shifts. The attention and love they once gave so freely start to disappear.
If your guy made a grand entrance into your life but can’t seem to stick around when things get real, that’s a big red flag.
2. The Conversation Always Comes Back to Him
Let’s say you’re excited about sharing a big moment, like a promotion at work. You barely get through your first sentence before he hijacks the conversation.
Suddenly, it’s all about his achievements, his struggles, or what he could’ve done in your shoes.
Narcissists are notorious for turning every conversation back to themselves. They crave admiration and attention, and they’ll subtly (or not-so-subtly) make sure they’re the center of every discussion.
When someone values you, they’ll listen to you. If he doesn’t, take note.
3. He Gaslights You
Ever find yourself doubting your own memory or instincts?
That’s no accident. Narcissists use a tactic called gaslighting to manipulate you into questioning your reality.
Here’s how it works:
- You catch him in a lie, but he insists you’re “crazy” or “overreacting.”
- He denies things that clearly happened, making you feel like you imagined it.
- He shifts blame onto you, even when you know he’s in the wrong.
Over time, this can damage your self-esteem and make you dependent on him for “truth.”
If you constantly feel confused or second-guess yourself after arguments, it’s a major sign of gaslighting—and narcissistic behavior.
4. He Can’t Handle Criticism
Narcissists love praise, but constructive criticism? Not so much.
Even the smallest comment about his behavior can trigger an explosive reaction. He might:
- Get defensive and lash out.
- Turn the blame on you or others.
- Give you the silent treatment to punish you.
This happens because narcissists have fragile egos. They can’t handle anything that challenges their perfect self-image.
If your guy takes every comment personally and makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it’s time to pay attention.
5. His Apologies Are… Nonexistent
Or worse—they’re fake.
When a healthy, emotionally mature partner hurts you, they take responsibility and apologize.
Narcissists? They don’t. Instead, they:
- Shift blame onto you (“I only did that because you…”).
- Offer empty, insincere apologies to move on quickly.
- Refuse to acknowledge their mistakes at all.
It’s all about maintaining power and control. A genuine apology would mean admitting fault—and that’s something a narcissist won’t do.
If he’s allergic to accountability, it’s a major red flag.
6. He’s Always the “Victim”
Narcissists have a knack for turning themselves into the victim, no matter the situation.
For example:
- If you express how his actions hurt you, he says you’re “attacking” him.
- If he’s late or inconsiderate, it’s your fault for having unrealistic expectations.
- He paints everyone else (exes, friends, family) as the villains while he’s the misunderstood hero.
This constant victim narrative is a manipulation tactic. By playing the victim, he avoids responsibility and guilt-trips you into feeling bad for him.
Sound familiar? That’s a huge red flag.
7. He’s Unreasonably Jealous
At first, you might’ve seen his jealousy as a sign that he cares. But now? It’s suffocating.
Narcissists often struggle with intense insecurity, even if they act confident on the outside. As a result, they try to control you to soothe their own fears.
This can look like:
- Accusing you of flirting when you weren’t.
- Isolating you from friends and family.
- Getting angry when you spend time on yourself.
Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect. If he can’t trust you—or worse, uses jealousy to control you—that’s a big red flag.
8. He Has Double Standards
Ever notice how the rules don’t apply to him?
For example:
- He can go out with his friends whenever he wants, but if you do, it’s “disrespectful.”
- He flirts or acts shady, but accuses you of being unfaithful for no reason.
- He demands constant admiration but gives you little in return.
Double standards are a hallmark of narcissism. He expects you to follow the rules while he gets to break them.
If you feel like you’re constantly being held to an unfair standard, you’re not imagining it.
9. He Lacks Empathy
Empathy is what allows us to connect and care for others. Without it, relationships fall apart.
Unfortunately, narcissists lack genuine empathy.
Here’s what that looks like:
- He dismisses your feelings or tells you to “get over it.”
- He seems uninterested when you’re upset or struggling.
- He makes everything about how he feels, even in serious moments.
A partner who truly loves you will care about your emotions. If he doesn’t, it’s a sign he’s not capable of healthy emotional intimacy.
10. He Uses You to Boost His Ego
Finally, narcissists see their partners as extensions of themselves.
Your achievements, beauty, or kindness? He sees them as tools to make himself look good.
But here’s the thing—if you stop feeding his ego, his attitude changes. Suddenly, he’s cold, critical, or even cruel.
You deserve a partner who loves you for you, not for what you can do for their image.
Also Read: 10 Hidden Traits of a Cold-Hearted Man Every Woman Should Know
The Bottom Line
If you recognized several (or all) of these red flags, you’re not alone. Narcissists are incredibly good at hiding their true colors—at least at first.
But once you know the signs, you can protect yourself.
