I have been married for 10 years. Recently, I have this awful feeling that my husband is cheating on me. Anytime I ask if he is, just for reassurance, he gets so angry with me. He says that I will never truly be happy with him. My question is this: do I deserve to be yelled at just for asking?
HI. Thanks for reaching out to Relationup. You don’t deserve to be yelled at for asking! Sometimes, it is may be hard for your husband to be asked for reassurance because he feels that you are accusing him of cheating and gets frustrated by the accusations and your lack of trust. So, consequently, your husband gets upset with you for continuously confronting him about his commitment to you.
If your husband has not been unfaithful and given you reason to doubt his commitment to you, then your own issues might be feeding your insecurities in this relationship. Perhaps, feelings of “not feeling good enough” or not being “lovable enough” and/or fears that your husband will abandon you might be influencing and having an impact on your relationship. It is very common that some such feelings are at the roots of our need for reassurance. If this is the case, it would be helpful for you to investigate individual therapy, so you can work on these issues and not let them adversely affect your relationship. There may even be self help books that you can read with work books that can help you gain insight into these issues. If it is the case that your husband has cheated in the past, then the two of you may need some counseling to overcome that hurt and lack of trust that this has caused. It takes a lot of time and healing to overcome the betrayal of infidelity.
I wish you all the best in your journey.