I have now gone on several dates and had a few good conversations over the last month with woman that I like very much. However, during our last date, she embarrassed me in front of my friends by something she said and did. The details aren’t important, but I found her harsh and patronizing and treating me like a child. I feel like we are so well matched and would like to continue dating her, but don’t want her to repeat this behavior. How do you recommend that I address this with her? Do I wait things out and hope it doesn’t happen again or do I say something and if so, what?
Thanks for reaching out to Relationup. Good connections are hard to find and I think you should give this a chance. Ultimately, you want to be in a relationship where there is a good strong foundation and you are able to share how you are feeling and have the person empathize and adjust their behavior accordingly. A person can’t change what they can’t see themselves or don’t understand. So, here is a chance to build this very kind of relationship. My advice would be to take the risk and tell her about your feelings about the incident. Help her understand the impact on you and your wishes for her to be more aware of her ability to be harsh and patronizing. Let’s see how she handles this, as that will tell you a lot about whether she is the type of woman with whom you want to build a future. If she handles it well (by empathizing, taking responsibility for her behavior and expressing a desire to change) she may be a keeper. If she becomes defensive and dismissive then that is more concerning and may be sign that things won’t change.
I hope things work out well.