College is starting and you are going to be apart. You didn’t even consider breaking up, and now you face the reality that your relationship is transforming into a long-distance relationship. While the relationship as you know it will change, being in different cities will offer an opportunity for both of you to strengthen your bond and see just how deeply you care for one another. The key will be to maintain the same intimacy that you had before the move, which will require deepening your trust and strengthening your communication.
Here are a 10 strategies for keeping the spark alive in your long distance relationship.
1. Share the small, random, happy stuff. our partner will feel more connected to you and your daily life, the more that you share the small things that you might not normally share. Tell them about a funny thing that happened to you, or a small incident that will make your daily life feel immediate and vivid to your partner. The conversation doesn’t always have to be about how much you miss each other.
2. Take advantage of technology. Apps are no longer just about having a free conversation with someone far away. The are many apps that are designed especially for long-distance relationships that facilitate emotional closeness.
3. Stick to a schedule for communication. You should hold each other accountable to scheduling in phone calls, Netflix dates, and making time for one another in your new personal lives. Each couple communicates differently, so develop something that suits your needs.
4. Schedule visits as often as your schedule and wallet permit. Visits give you something concrete to work towards and something delightful to experience. During the visits, try to function as you normally would when you were together. Both of you should have the experience that being together is so seamless and easy and you feel like you haven’t missed a beat.
5. Share activities, like reading the same books or watching the same TV shows. It’ll give you something to experience together and talk about. There is something pretty romantic about a book club just for two, and no one ever said “Netflix and chill” couldn’t be done over Skype.
6. Get creative with your sex life.Your sex life will be one of the factors that takes the biggest toll with distance. Even if your emotional connection deepens, sex is something that’s just about impossible to have long-distance. Look into getting toys and get over your embarrassment about talking explicitly on the phone. Throw caution to the wind and have some fun.
7. Share your emotional life with one another. .. It is important to share your inner world (thoughts and feelings) and hold, loving space for one another. If both partners are committed to sharing their emotional lives, an even deeper connection can bloom.
8. Indulge in spontaneous acts of romance.Send cards and flowers, and small things that say you’re thinking of your partner. Even if that wasn’t how you functioned before, it’s a good way to cultivate that “warm and fuzzy” feeling.
9. Engage in Spontaneous Texts of Connection. An unexpected text of good morning and goodnight, a great photo that you know they would love, a funny saying that you read on IG or an article from your favorite blogger are great ways to say that you are thinking of them.
10. Check in with yourself and see if this long distance relationship is right for you.The truth of the matter is, a long-distance relationship is not a long term plan. They are not for everyone. Sometimes, no matter how much we love someone, we just can’t make it work. So, make sure that you are happy and that you are okay waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Long distance relationships don’t make sense. Everything about them seems to point to them not working out. But if you’re crazy about someone and willing to put in a little bit of work, you can manage the separation, have enjoyable moments and arrive at the day when you can celebrate being together again.
By Elena Nicolaou, Relationup Staff Writer