My friend, Kyle, summed up first dates perfectly, “During the first date I am wondering is she enjoying herself, and after the date I think about every single thing I said wrong and can’t really sleep afterwards.”
First dates can be nerve racking, trying to mind read and interpret body language. We can guess all we want, even with all the technology we have theses days, we still cannot know what is going on in our date’s mind. So, I decided to survey 50 men and 50 women, ages 19-31, and see what they commonly thought about before and during a date. Here are 6 interesting results that show what men and women are really thinking on their first dates.
1. Before the date, men, more than women, were self conscious about how they would be perceived physically by their date. 90% of men compared to 66% of women worried about how they would come across to the other person before the date.
2. Before the date, women were more concerned than men, about whether they would find their dates physically and emotionally attractive. 75% of the women were focused on concerns about what their date would look like and if they would be attractive. Only 40% of men were worried about their date’s appearance before the date.
3. Men were most interested in their date’s sense of humor and women were most interested in their date being in touch with emotions. 33% of men hoped their date had a sense of humor, while 1 out of 6 hoped their date could make them laugh. Women were most interested in their date’s ability to hold a conversation. 80% of the women surveyed hoped that their dates could engage in a conversation where they shared their feelings and thoughts.
4. During the date, women had sex on their mind, more than men. Even though one might think that most men have sex on their mind during a date, 40% reported having sex on their mind during their date. However, more than 50% of the women were thinking about having a sexual connection with their date, and hoped for some kind of romance to take place. How is that for news!
5. Men thought about the bill more than women. While 50% of women wondered if their date would offer to pay, 95% of men planned to cover the check on a first date. The other 5% of males considered paying if they thought the date went well, and if they wanted to go out on a second date. I guess chivalry isn’t dead.
6. During the date men were more concerned than women about how they were coming across to their date. 70% of men, and 30% women, thought about whether or not they were impressing their dates.
What’s the takeaway? Ladies, the man you are sipping coffee across the table from is self conscious and cares a lot about how you are experiencing him. He is not simply buying time to just get this coffee date over and get you into bed. Even though his mind might be slightly preoccupied by how sexy you are, he is mostly interested in your personality and wants to be a gentlemen.
And for you men? The woman across from you is not worrying as much as you are about how she is coming across. She is focused on you and sizing up whether she is attracted to you, whether she is going to be physically intimate with you, and if you are going to be a good conversationalist. Maybe that is why you guys are feeling so self conscious!