“Needing Help In Your Relationship Is A Sign That You Shouldn’t Be Together.”
This is what was told to me once by a young woman. It is not true. The truth is all relationships have issues and from the moment you meet someone, you are learning about the person and making adjustments in the relationship.
At the beginning of a connection, accommodations and compromises (watching Star Wars trilogy for the 10th time, even though you are not a fan) or asking for your needs to be met (wanting to hold hands when you walk) are easier to make.
As the relationship deepens and your lives become more intertwined and people draw closer to one another, relationships become more complex. The honeymoon is over and you begin to bump into each other about how to create closeness. People’s intimacy needs are different and they don’t always mesh. Accommodations and compromises can become more difficult and more hurt feelings and anger surface.
Can most couples deal with this on their own? Of course! It is easier to deal with challenges when you are less triggered by them. However, when resentments and tensions get too high, then it is time to get help.
Getting advice early on is the key. The sooner you take on a problem, the better. So, how do you recognize that you might need some help at any stage of your relationship?
Here are 5 easy signs that your relationship needs help:
- When out socially with your pals, you complain about your partner to others
- When you are out together as a couple, you are mean to him/her alone and in front of others
You are taking the same issue about your partner to your friends/family for advice over and over again.
You know what you are unhappy about, but are not talking to him/her about it.
You shut down or convince yourself it isn’t a big deal.
You try to discuss your problems, but communication breaks down and you just end up feeling misunderstood, upset or angry.
Rhonda Milrad, MSW, Founder Relationup